Out Of Hate And Desperation I Found You
by LifexxAintxxEasy
Summary: AU. Kate Beckett is fresh off of a divorce. With a three year old daughter trailing behind and walls built around their hearts to protect them from getting hurt, can she find love again? Maybe she can, it's all up to a certain writer and his own daughter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this has been rolling around in my head for a while. Let me know if you like it.**

**Disclaimer: If only.**

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I rolled over in bed and wrapped my arms tightly around the small frame of my three year old daughter. I smoothed down her hair and idly toyed with her long curly ringlets. She jerked her head away and her soft face had that faint pink blush that always had me breathing again after a particularly gruesome case. Especially this most recent one with those girls, they were so young…

I pulled Ella closer to me and put that thought out of my mind. She stirred, but then melted into my side. I smiled down at her sleeping figure and knew it probably wouldn't last. I wouldn't waste it though. It was God Awful O'clock in the morning and I needed to get up so I wouldn't be late for work. I reluctantly pull back my arms and then take off the covers. I step silently onto the hardwood floor. I walk into the kitchen and make myself a coffee, then I walk into my room and grab some clothes, taking them into the bathroom with me. I quickly shower and throw on the clothes, deciding blow drying my hair would be a bad idea and left it to air dry. I walk back into my room to put away my pjs. That's when the small tear-filled voice called out.

"Mama. Mama where you?" Ella cried.

"Ella baby? I'm right here. Honey what's wrong?" I ask climbing onto the bed and pulling my daughter into my lap.

"I had a nightmare." She cries loudly cuddling closer into me.

"What happened in your nightmare baby?" I rubbed her back and rocked her. In a desperate attempt to calm her down.

"I didn't know where you were and I was looking for you. I found you and asked what you were doing and you said leavin. You walked away and I ran you just kept walking." She explains through heart-wrenching sobs.

"Ella, Ella honey. I will never ever leave you! I love you so, so much. I promise that I will never ever leave you." I say, she seems to calm down after I tell her that.

"Daddy left." She whispers and I know the tears have stopped.

"That had nothing to do with you. Your Daddy loves you, okay?" She sits there idly in my lap and toys with the bottom of my shirt. "Ella?"

"Then why doesn't he call?" She's my daughter all right, stubborn to the bone. Her father didn't fight for custody at all. He pretty much said that he didn't want her. He left and then never called. At least there was the divorce. I cradled her against me.

"You know he's busy." I say. She sighs and nods.

"Are you workin today?" She asks.

"Yeah baby, but it's Saturday. Aunt Lanie has to work at three and she's going to leave you with Dani." She nods and cuddles into my side. She starts to doze again. "C'mon sleepy girl. Up." I picked her up and walked across the hall to her room. I got her to the bathroom, fed, teeth brushed and changed into a decent outfit before Lanie got there. I ran to answer the door while she was brushing her hair or at least trying too.

"Hey girl, how's my God Baby?" She asks. I turn and walk into the apartment, sinking into a stool at the island.

"She's been having a lot of nightmares lately. I'm starting to worry." Lanie comes and takes a seat next to me.

"Kate, you did get a divorce fairly recently. Her Dad suddenly left just before that. Maybe she's scared that'll happen again." I nod.

"Yeah, but I could never leave her. Not my little girl." I get off the stool as the same little girl rams into my legs and then heads straight for Lanie.

"Sorry Momma." She says hugging Lanie.

"How're you Baby Girl?" She asks picking her up. Her white 'Momma's Girl' shirt stands out against the black jeans. Then I start thinking white may not be a good idea. Then I see her hair.

"Good, ready?" Lanie nods and walks out with my bouncing baby girl.

"Ella wait!" I grab two hair elastics and quickly tie her hair into pigtails. "There you go." I turn around and grab my keys and follow them out, locking the door behind me. I make my way to my car and know Lanie's probably already on her way to the park and then she'll be back to her place for a nap and movie. Off to the precinct, to that case.

"Okay, Beckett we've gone over this case four times. We've got nothing." Esposito says sitting down in his chair.

"Well what do we have?" I ask.

"Our guy abducts five year old girls. Always, he never falters that, they always have brown hair. Eye colour varies. He sexually assaults his victims and then stabs them five times. Same as their age, they're always abducted when they're with their baby-sitters. All different girls never a single connection between them." Esposito sighs and crosses his arms. He's right, we've got nothing.

"Maybe we should hand it over to the FBI." Ryan says.

"You're right. I can't let anything else happen. I don't want to see another face on that board. I'll call them tonight, but I'm not giving up this case completely." I say standing up. It was about six and my sitter should be here.

Just then the elevator landed on the floor and the patter of small feet ran across the room. "Momma!"

I bent down and scooped up my daughter. "Hello Ella. Can you say hi to Uncle Javi and Uncle Ry?" She smiled widely at them and reached over to Esposito who took her without hesitation.

"Uncle Javi!" She cheered. I turned to my babysitter and paid her.

"Thanks so much Danielle." I smiled at her.

"Thanks and please Detective Beckett call me Dani." She says.

"Please call me Kate." We smile at each other.

"Bye Ella, I'll see you Monday." She promises. Ella waves bye and Ryan walks over to steal her from Espo.

"Hello Ellie-bear." He says and she giggles loudly.

"Hi Uncle Ry." She says. I go to flip the murder board and as I reach it I see Esposito's already done it.

"Momma, can we go to the park?" Ella asks me and I turn to see her with Ryan while he's talking on the phone.

"Sure Baby. You guys will call me if anything pops?" I ask walking over and reclaiming my daughter.

"We'll have Captain Montgomery contact the Feds. See you on the flip side Beckett." Ryan says walking to Montgomery's office. "Bye Ellie-bear."

"Bye Uncle Ry." She says, giggling again.

"Later Beckett. Bye Ella." Esposito says waving.

"Bye guys." I say.

"Bye Uncle Javi." Ella smiled.

"Beckett, one question." I turned to see Karpowski looking at me. I nodded at her. "How'd you decide on a babysitter?"

"I background checked her, her parents, her friends and school teachers." I say and she laughs.

The park was nice that day and I just sat peacefully and watched as my daughter played on the climber. I noticed some odd looking teenagers standing around her. "Ella baby, come here!" My daughter turns around and starts running towards me. I scoop her up.

"Momma?" She asks.

"Two words. Ice cream." Her face lights up and she claps. We walk to the shop down the street. Slowly since she believes in walking herself.

"Ella baby can't I just carry you?" I ask as she stumbles again.

"No Momma. I gotta keep walkin" She says. In the rush of people my grip on her hand might be a little to hard. Finally we do reach the ice cream parlour and it's the same as always. Barely busy. I pick up Ella and we walk to go look at the ice creams.

"Momma can I have bubble-gum?" She asks.

"Sure hun." I smile and set her down for a minute. "Can I get a kids bubble-gum?" The cashier smiles at me.

"That'll be $1.35" I pay and feel Ella's hand detach from mine as I wait for the ice cream. I turn around and see her talking with a little girl with fiery red hair .

"Alexis. She's six." Says a tall man next to me. I look into his crystal clear blue eyes and smile.

"Ella. She's three and bound to have a total sugar rush later." I say jokingly. He laughs.

"Same as Alexis." He grins and they pass me the ice cream I ordered I notice that they pass him the same.

"Ellie-bear here's your ice cream." I say reaching for her hand.

"But Momma can't we sit with Lexis?" She asks.

"I don't know honey." I say, looking down at a disappointed Ella.

"Daddy can Ella sit with us?" The little girl, Alexis, asks.

"If it's okay with Ella's mum than its okay with me." He says. Ella looks up at me expectantly.

"Okay munchkin." Ella sits down next to Alexis, abandoning me to sit next to a complete stranger. We sit there and watch our two daughters chat for quite a while.

"I'm Rick, by the way. Rick Castle." He holds out a hand to me and I shake it.

"Kate. Kate Beckett." I shake his hand and look over at Ella.

"Mommy can we go to the park?" She asks.

"Ella we just came from the park." I say.

"Can we go back, please?" She pleads.

"I don't know, hun." I look into her eyes so much like mine.

"Please, please, please." She begs. I sigh.

"You're lucky you're adorable." She smiles at me.

"Daddy can we go too?" Alexis asks.

"Sure. Are you ready?" Both girls nod. "Then let's go." All four of us get up and Ella comes running over to me and reaches up for me. I bend down and pick her up.

"It's busy outside." She answers innocently. I nod and walk out, assuming we're all going together. We walk back to the playground we were just at, mostly in an awkward silence. Once we reach the climber I set Ella down, I watch as they run off to the playground and take a seat on a bench next to this Castle guy. Rick Castle, that name rung a bell. Then I remembered he wrote my favourite books. He saved my life. I was sitting next to the man that helped me through my Mother's murder.

"So Kate what do you do?" He asks.

"I'm a homicide detective, and you?" I look at him, already knowing my answer.

"I'm an author." I smile at him. "But of course you already knew that."

"Yeah I did. Just figured you didn't want me to say anything." I shrug and he nods.

"Are you working the case with the little girls?" He looks at me and I stare up at the sky. Taking a deep breath I nod.

"Yeah. We just handed the case over to the FBI though."

"Must be tough." He guesses and I nod.

"Took me forever to find a babysitter. With the number of background checks I had to do." I stifle a laugh and he smiles weakly at me.

"So are you married?" I laugh again.

"Was married. We got a divorce almost a year ago." I admit. "Are you married?"

"No. I got a divorce from Alexis's mom when she was four." I nod.

"It sucks for them. More than for us." I say and he nods. At that moment Ella looks back and waves. I lift up my hand and wave back.

"It does, but it gets easier with time." He smiles at me.

"I hope so." I answer.

"Momma!" Ella screams and runs to me. I lift her into my lap and see Alexis is right behind her.

"Yes baby." She starts giggling.

"Nothing just running." She says.

"What time is it Daddy?" Alexis asks Rick.

"About time we get going." He says.

"But I don't wanna go." Alexis says.

"Do we have to go Momma?" Ella asks.

"'Fraid so El." She starts pouting.

"But I wanna stay and play with Alexis." She widens her eyes.

"Me too." Alexis looks at Ella and they both nod.

"Why don't we exchange numbers with Ella's Mom and we'll have them over for dinner sometime?" I look at him and he smiles. He seemed harmless enough.

"Okay!" Alexis exclaims and Ella nods enthusiastically.

" Do you have a pen and paper?" I ask, he nods passing me each item. I write down our name and number. He writes down theirs and passes the paper to me.

"Thanks." I say and he nods. I pull Ella up with me. "Well it's time we go Babe. Can you say bye to Alexis and Mr. Castle for me?"

"Bye Lexis. Bye Mr. Castle." She says.

"Bye Ella. Bye Mrs. Beckett." Alexis replies.

"Bye Ella. Bye Kate." Rick says.

"Bye guys." I say and we turn and start to walk away. Ella yawns loudly and lays her head on my shoulder.

"I like them. They're nice." Ella admits.

"They are." I concede.

"Oh c'mon Momma. They're not serial killers." I turn and look at my three year old daughter.

"You've been spending way to much time with Aunt Lanie." I say and really it's the only logical answer.

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**A/N: So what did you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Oh my gosh all of your reviews and alerts were amazing! I hope you like this chapter just as much.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Castle. I only own Ella.**

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"Ella please get off the table. Mommy has to work then I'll play with you." I plead with my three-year-old daughter.

"You said that the last time. I had to go bed before you were finished." I look at her; bright green eyes brimmed with tears. "I just wanna play with you." I can't say no to her, not when she's upset.

"Okay honey. What do you wanna play?" Her smile spreads from ear to ear.

"Can we watch a movie?" She asks moving to the edge of the table and looking down at the ground, then backing up a bit. I get up from my desk and walk over taking her off.

"I thought you wanted to play?" I say holding her close. She looks at me.

"But Mama I wanna watch a movie." She whispers resting her head on my shoulder. I smile down at her. Sitting down on the couch and she cuddles into my lap. I push play and the movie that's already in the player begins.

Half an hour later my phone rings and wakes me and Ella up. I pull it out of my pocket. "Please don't be work." I look at the number and it's unfamiliar. "Detective Beckett." I answer cautiously.

"Is this Kate Beckett?" A male voice asks me.

"Who's asking?" I say, shifting Ella slightly so I can lean on my arms and still engulf her.

"Oh, I'm sorry this is Rick Castle. We met at the ice cream parlor. You know our daughters both ordered the same ice cream?" He asks and I think it would be fun to mess with him.

"Nope, I'm sorry, doesn't ring a bell." I smile to myself as I listen to him squirm on the other line.

"I had the girl with the red hair, Alexis." He tries and when I'm silent he continues to ramble. I smile.

"I know." I say and it takes him a while before he stops.

"You detective are good." I lean back again and Ella turns her body towards me. She scrambles to try and listen but I lean farther away. She chases me and laughs.

"I sure am." I say.

"Well anyways I was just calling to see when you would like to have that dinner?" I wait for him to continue, talk about when Alexis and he were free, but he wants me to say something.

"I think that'd be great; sometime this week? We're free Wednesday." I say and Ella looks at me and shakes her head.

"Mama I got dance class on Wednesday." She says.

"Ella your dance class was cancelled this week. I've told you that six times. Why do you think we didn't go today?" She thinks about it.

"I don't know." She answers. I laugh and smile at her.

"Wednesday is perfect for Alexis and I. I'll see you then. Around seven-ish?" He asks.

"Sounds great we'll see you and Alexis then." I hang up the phone and stare at an overly tired Ella who is still somehow bouncing with energy.

"Bed time baby." She frowns.

"But Mama," she yawns "I'm not even tired."

"If you don't go to bed we're not gonna go over to Mr. Castle and Alexis's house for dinner Wednesday." I threaten. She jumps off my lap and slowly onto the floor. Running as fast as her little legs will carry her. "Guess that settles everything."

I stand there with Ella squirming in my arms. "Ella honey just stay still." I say and she continues to squirm. "Ella."

"Sorry Mama I'm just excited." She replies and stops moving.

"Yeah I can tell." I reply, hoisting her higher on my hip. The door opens and I see Richard Castle standing there doing the same thing with his daughter. We stand in silence for a minute until Ella says something.

"Can I get down now?" I set her down and he, in turn, puts Alexis back on her own two feet. Ella hovers by my extremely long legs, not sure wether to go or not.

"It's nice to see you again Miss Beckett." I smile, last time she called me Mrs. her dad must've said something.

"It's nice to see you again Alexis and please call me Kate." I say and she smiles.

"Hi Ella!" She waves excitedly.

"Hi Alexis." Ella returns Alexis holds out her hand and Ella grabs hold.

"C'mon I'll show you my room. I've got tons of toys." They take off for the stairs and climb them like experts. I take a small step inside the huge loft and look around.

"Nice place." I comment. Looking around I can see framed photos of him, Alexis and an older woman with red hair—his mother perhaps? There are some of just him and Alexis, him and the older woman, the older woman and Alexis and some of the three of them. It was endearing. I smile and inhale deeply. "Is that dinner?" He nods. "It smells amazing." At some point when I was looking around he moved to stand in front of me.

"Chicken Parmesan, you said Ella liked Italian food." I smile thinking about our conversation today. Of course though he had to call and ask while I was at work. I passed it off as Dani and the boys actually believed me.

"Yeah, it's her favourite." I smile at him.

"Alexis too." He walks over to me. "Do you want anything to drink? Wine?"

"Yes wine is perfect for me when I'm going to have to drive Ella and I both home." I roll me eyes and he laughs.

"I see your point. Coffee?"

"Sounds great." He walks into the kitchen and I stand there awkwardly, staring up the stairs. Hopefully Ella was behaving.

"You can sit you know." I smile and toe off my shoes leaving them by the door and walk over to the large leather couch. I wait a minute and be joins me. It's quiet for a long moment and we just look at each other.

"It's too quiet." I comment and he nods.

"What're they doing?" He asks and I shrug.

"No clue, but I know Ella is never this quiet." He laughs and so do I.

"I'm sure they're fine. Dinner will be ready soon, then we'll see whether or not they're alive." We smile at each other.

"Daddy, I'm hungry!" Alexis yells coming down the stairs Ella following closely behind.

"Dinner will be ready soon, m'kay pumpkin?" She smiles and nods.

"What're we gonna do till then?" She asks coming to sit next to me on the couch.

"We could play a game?" He offers and Ella climbs towards me and sits directly in between Rick and I.

"Game?" Ella asks.

"The question game." I turn to Alexis and she's beaming.

"What's that?" I ask and Alexis is happy to answer.

"We ask random questions and you have to answer them."

"That's sounds fun." I reply. The smile on her face spreads from ear to ear.

"Yay!" Ella claps her hands and moves slightly closer to Rick.

"Okay, who goes first?" Rick asks and I look at Alexis.

"How about you go first Alexis? It was your idea after all." She nods and thinks for a minute.

"What is your favourite colour?" She smiles.

"That's a good question. Hmm, probably purple." I answer and she smiles.

"That's my favourite too." She giggles.

"Ella, what's your favourite colour." Rock asks my daughter, Alexis and I turn to look at her.

"Red!" She decides, I look at her in her little red shirt and blue jeans.

"Red's an awesome colour. High five!" They high five quickly. "My favourite colour is blue."

"That's the colour of your shirt Daddy." Alexis says, observantly.

"That's right pumpkin." He smiles and Alexis beams with pride. I grin at the two of them.

"Again!" Ella says clapping. I laugh at her.

"Again baby girl?" I ask and she nods. "Whose turn is it now?" I ask, looking towards Alexis.

"Yours." She states and I think for a moment.

"What's your favourite book?" I finally decide and Alexis doesn't even need to think about it.

"The forth Harry Potter. I just finished reading it with my Daddy and it is awesome!"

"Harry Potter is so cool. The forth one is the best." I reply.

"Is it your favourite book?" She asks, hopeful.

"Not quite. My favourite book would probably be To Kill A Mockingbird." I look down at the little girl and she considers that for a moment.

"I like that book good choice." She smiles and I nod my head.

"Thank you."

"Really Detective? I didn't figure you to read classic literature." I turn and look at Rick.

"I'm just full of surprises Mr. Castle." I reply and look at him. For a moment no one says anything and it's like we're in our own little world. Ella moves and my eyes shift to her. She just stares at me and then smiles.

"Mama, what's my favourite book?" She asks and I smile back at her.

"I'll love you forever." I reply and she nods.

"Yup that's it!" She bounces on the couch and climbs over to me and brushes a piece of hair out of my face.

"Thanks monkey." She nods and crawls into my lap and lies her head down on my shoulder. Rick turns back to the kitchen and stands.

"Well I think dinner is ready." He says standing.

"Yum!" Alexis exclaims, running to the kitchen. Ella pulls herself off the couch and runs towards the kitchen directly behind Alexis. I get up and follow, not entirely sure what's going to happen next.

"Dinner was amazing. Seriously where did you learn to cook like that?" I ask sitting down a glass of water in front of me.

"A magician never reveals his secrets." He smirks at me and I nod.

"I see your point." We'd if usher dinner about a half an hour ago and the girls had long since been playing in Alexis's room. I think about Ella for a moment. I have to admit she took to Rick and Alexis really quickly. A lot faster than anyone else she'd just met. Which means we'd have to talk about the a-word.

"Kate there's something I wanted to talk to you about." He says cautiously, pulling me from my thoughts. I sit up.

"Yeah, we do." I admit and he looks at me.

"You first." He says motioning for me to go. I bite my bottom lip and look up at him.

"Same time?" He nods and starts to count.

"1."

"2"

"3"

"You can't abandon my daughter." We say at the same time. I look up at him yet again only to avert my gaze.

"Well this is going a lot smoother than I thought." He admits sitting next to me. "It's just that Alexis seems to really like you and Ella."

"And Ella really likes the two of you." I nod for him to continue.

"After her mom and I divorced her Mom didn't make much of an effort to see her. Alexis would ask about her all the time, but I didn't know what to say. Still don't. And I don't want Alexis to get close to you and then you just disappear." He says, after a moment he runs his fingers through his hair.

"The same with Ella. I don't want her hurt. She always asks about her Dad and I don't know what to say. I always tell her that Daddy loves her, but she doesn't believe me. Ever." I admit, twirling my thumbs. I reach for the water and take a long drink.

"Promise you won't just walk away from her? You have to be in this for the long run." He says, it was so sweet how protective he was over Alexis.

"Only if you promise to be there for Ella." I respond and he holds out his pinky.

"I promise to be there until she sends me away." He says locking pinkies with mine.

"I promise to be there until the world stops turning." We stay like that for a moment. Who knew that such a small gesture could really hold so much meaning?

"You know what I just remembered?" I ask and he looks at me

"Hm?"

"You never told us what your favourite book is?" I say and he smiles.

"Well you really are a detective." He pauses briefly and his smile grows. "It was this story Alexis wrote, her first ever, and it was about the perfect family being just us." He grins.

"That is sweet." I say.

"Yeah she's just an amazing little girl. Now this has been bugging me all night. Why is your favourite book To Kill A Mockingbird?" He asks and I smile.

"When Ella was born I would read to her and it'd be the only book to calm her down." I smile.

"Mama?" Speak of the devil.

"Daddy?" We turn to see Alexis and Ella standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"What is it Lex?" Rick asks and she let's out a yawn.

"I'm tired." She answers.

"Mama." I look down to see that Ella has walked over to me and is now reaching up to me. I pull her up into my lap and she almost falls asleep right then.

"I think it's time we head home." I stand up with Ella snuggled into my neck. I walk over to the door and set Ella down for a moment. Zipping her into her light jacket and pulling on her little sneakers. Then I put on my own shoes and give Alexis a hug.

"When will I see you guys again?" She asks and I look up at her Dad.

"Tell you what Alexis. I'll call you and we'll see okay?" She nods and I turn and give Rick a handshake while the girls say goodbye.

"Until next time Detective." He says.

"Can't you just say night, Rick?" I ask and walk over to Ella. She reaches up again and I pull her into my arms.

"Bye Kate. Bye Ella." They say.

"Night guys." I reply because I think Ella's already fallen asleep on me.

I push the button for the elevator and wait.

"I like them Mama. They're nice." I look down at Ella just before she falls asleep and smile. She was way past right.

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**A/N: So what did you think? Any questions? I'm here to answer**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks you so much for all your reviews and alerts. It means a lot. You guys are amazing!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, okay. This joke isn't funny.**

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"Okay guys for the last time, I asked Dani to call me frequently because Ella hasn't been feeling well." I say to the boys for a final time. Honestly it was the truth. My cell phone rang yet again and I walked over to answer it. "Detective Beckett."

"Hey Kate, I was just wondering if we were still on for dinner tonight." I smile when I realize that it's Rick and not Dani.

"Yeah, the same time okay?" I look to see the boys staring at me like they know I'm lying. "Is Ella feeling any better?"

"What?" He asks, a little more than confused.

"That's good. Yes I'm still at work. Uh-huh the boys are here. Tell her they say hi." I wait a moment and hear him chuckle.

"That's right you're at work. God Kate I'm sorry." He says.

"It's alright Dani. Is she sleeping right now? Okay." I watch the boys disappear and Ryan answers his phone.

"Okay Kate. I'll see you later." He says and I can hear the grin in his voice.

"Bye." I look around and lower my voice. "And tell Alexis I said Hi."

"The same with Ella." I hang up the phone and walk over to them.

"Body dropped." Ryan says. I turn and look up at the clock. 5:32.

"God dammit." I say and the boys turn to look at me.

"What is it Beckett?" Esposito enquires and I look at him.

"I—uh, Dani has some kind of practice or rehearsal or something today and she asked if I could pick up Ella early. I promised her I would." I shrug.

"Can't Lanie do it? I'm sure Dani will understand if you can't pick her up." Both guys laugh.

"No, I didn't promise Dani. I promised my kid." I say, sitting down. "You guys take the case; I've got some paperwork to finish anyways. I'll leave on time today." I look up to see them gaping at me. They knew why I was a detective. They knew I never turned down a case, but they also knew how much it matters to me that I keep my promises to my daughter. "Go. God guys don't just stand there. You can fill me in tomorrow and I'll work the case with you then. Okay?" They nod and I see them talking as they leave. Only ten more minutes and then I could leave. Montgomery knows that I have Ella; he knows what it's like. He's got two girls at home and a son.

"Hello?" I answer my phone with Ella on my hip as I rush to get to the car and then back home so we could get ready for dinner.

"Katherine Beckett what are you up to!" Lanie yells on the other end and I wonder what I've done.

"I'm not up to anything." I say buckling Ella into her car seat, s sippy-cup of water in her hands.

"Ella told me everything about Rick and Alexis. And by everything you better believe I mean everything." She says and I can picture her glaring at me. I move to the driver's side and get in.

"Except for the parts she wasn't there for." I nod in understanding about why she called and it's silent on the other end. I sit there for a moment waiting.

"Well?" She says and I sigh.

"Well I'm in the car ready to go home and I'm on the phone with you." I clamp my eyes shut and rest my head on the headrest.

"Mama go." Ella demands from the backseat.

"Just a minute baby, Mommy's talking to Auntie Lanie."

"Go now!" Ella says, frustrated.

"Ella!" I say and she starts to fuss. "Lanie I really have to go. Ella isn't having a very good day."

"Kate we aren't finished." Lanie complains. I hear Ella wail from the back.

"Just a second." I turn in my seat. "Ella please stop crying. Alexis and Rick don't want to play with someone who cries instead of using her words." I threaten and she stops.

"Are we going to see them?" She asks, the tears slowly stopping.

"If you stop crying right now." She nods and sniffles. I pat her knee.

"Drink some water baby." I turn around and pull the phone up to my ear. "Lanie I am sorry, but I have to call you back." She's silent on the other line.

"I'll be by at around 10:39, when Ella's asleep. I want to know everything." I groan and hang up, buckling myself in I drive away.

"We go see Alexis and Rick now?" Ella asks.

"Not quite baby. We have to go home and get you into some new clothes." She nods and bops her head along the music on the radio.

"Ella!" Alexis yells and runs to her. They give each other a hug and then she runs to me. I bend down to give her a hug and see Rick pick Ella up and do the same. "Hi Kate."

"Hey Alexis." I smile and she looks up at me and sort of studies me. I study her back and she starts to giggle. After that she runs over to Ella and they take off up the stairs. We'd been doing this little dance for about two weeks. We'd been having dinners for almost a month.

"So Kate how was work?" Rick asks as I go to sit down on the couch.

"Tiring, unlike your work day. What'd you do, sit around in your underwear and watch videos on YouTube for 'inspiration'?" I ask sarcastically and he smiles.

"Detective that hurts; I wasn't wearing just my underwear, I had a t-shirt on too." He jokes and I laugh.

"Oh my bad I am so sorry. The great Richard Castle was wearing a t-shirt too." We both laugh for a while. "How's everything with you Rick?"

"Gina—my publisher—is riding my ass about this next chapter." He says and I nod.

"Well then maybe you should get off YouTube and actually write." I tease and he chuckles.

"I'd love to but I have no inspiration." He sighs and lies back against the couch. "What's the point?"

"Do it for your fans." I say and he looks at me.

"How do you mean?" He asks.

"Your fans love it when a new book comes out, they race to get it and try their hardest to get it signed." I say smiling at him. "To them there is always a point."

"You say that like you have experience." He comments and I shrug.

"You'll never know. Wanna know why?"

"Why Detective? Why?"

"Because I think your food is burning." I laugh as he scrambles to get his food from the oven. I get up and walk to the stairs.

"Ella, Alexis. Dinner is ready." I call up and they run down. Well Ella thinks about running down, then settles for walking. "Hungry?" I ask them and they nod. Alexis runs to the table and I lift up Ella.

"Mama, Auntie Lanie sounded mad on the phone today." She whispers. I laugh.

"She wasn't mad. Annoyed? Yes. Mad? No." I say.

"Why was she—that word?" I smile.

"Grown-up things." I answer, putting her in a chair next to mine. Plates of spaghetti before us and a bowl of Caesar salad.

"Oh, grown-up things. Like what?" Rick asks and I roll my eyes.

"Girl stuff." I answer.

"Yeah Daddy, you wouldn't understand." Alexis says as if she's in on a big secret.

"Well okay there Missy. Why don't you just eat your salad and bask in the fact that you do understand more than I do." He sticks his tongue out at her and Alexis bursts out into a fit of giggles.

"Whatever you say Daddy." Alexis smiles and eats her salad.

"I'm not even going to ask." I take a seat next to Ella and across from Alexis.

"I will." Ella grins and looks at Alexis. "Why?"

"Well Daddy and I were arguing about the fact that boys know more than girls. So I told him that girls know more than boys because boys didn't understand stuff." She says proudly.

"Oh," Ella nods. "Mommy I don't get it." She whispers—loudly—and everybody laughs. Including Ella who doesn't really understand the joke.

"I'll explain when your taller Ellie-bear." I say and she pouts.

"Mama, stop calling me Ellie-bear. Only Uncle Ry can all me that!" I laugh again.

"Okay, Little Miss." I say in mock offense.

"That's better." I smile, she grins and sets out for the food.

"Kate, guess what?" I look up to see Alexis's face filled with excitement.

"What's up?" I ask, a little eager to know exactly what's going on.

"My Mommy is coming to visit next month. I'm so excited. She says we're gonna do a whole bunch of stuff! Like go shopping!" She says excitedly. I wait for a moment smiling and then cast a sideways glance at Rick who has a weary smile on his face. I guess there was more to what he told me about Alexis's Mom a month ago.

"That sounds awesome Alexis. I bet you'll have a lot of fun." She nods and grins then goes back to her food. I look back at Rick.

'You okay?' I mouth. He nods and gives me the weary smile now. 'We'll talk later?' I mouth and once again he nods and I start to wonder if he even understands me at all.

"C'mon Rick just let me help with the dishes." I complain as he stands at the sink washing away.

"No. You're a guest." He states and I roll my eyes.

"A guest who comes over for dinner at least once a week and who just so happens to bring her daughter making more dishes. Just let me help." I whine and he looks up at me with narrowed eyes.

"Fine." He declares and I jump off the couch.

"Finally. You know I never thought I'd be this happy to help with the dishes." I laugh and he chuckles lightly.

"Never thought I'd not want someone to help." We mock each other for another moment and then suddenly I'm staring into his eyes. They're big and blue and they pull you in. For a moment I'm mesmerized and I'm half-sure he is too. Then we hear a huge thump. I look and see he's dropped a large metal pot into the sink.

"Smooth." I say, laughing. He laughs too and we momentarily forget our moment.

"So Alexis told you about her Mom." Finally, I was so glad he was bringing this up. I would've had to soon, it was eating me alive why he looked so weary and distraught when he brought up Alexis's Mom, Meredith I think it was.

"Yeah. What's that about?" I ask.

"Well Meredith called me the other day and we were talking about Alexis, as usual." He passes me a dish to dry off and put away. Only problem is I don't exactly know where large metal pots go. I stand there in the kitchen for a few minutes, clueless. "Why don't we switch. You wash, I dry?" I nod my head and switch places with him, handing him the large metal pot. "Well Meredith always claims she's gonna come down and then, last minute bails out. Alexis's heart is broken and I don't know what to do. So now I don't tell Alexis and pretends it's a surprise for her if she actually shows up. Well this time she wanted to talk to Alexis. I let her, more than afraid but they still spoke for about five minutes. Alexis was in my office and I had my ear up against the door." I pass him a dish and he dry's it then walks to the cupboards.

"And what happened?" I put another dish in the sink.

"She told Alexis she was coming down to visit. Now I'm just, I'm scared Meredith's not going to come down and Alexis will be broken hearted and once again I'll have to clean up the mess. I really hate her sometimes." He says as I pass him another dish. We continue on in silence for a little while longer.

"We've never really talked about Alexis's Mom before." I say and he nods as I pass him a plate.

"Or Ella's Dad." He comment and I take a deep breath.

"What do you want to know?" I ask, he looks at me strangely as I pass him the last dish.

"Depends on what you want to tell me." He says. He puts the last dish away while I drain the sink. We walk back over to the couch and sit down.

"How long ago did he leave?" He enquires. I look at him and nod. That was a typical question.

"About nine months ago." I admit.

"And you've been divorced for?"

"Eight months." He thinks about that for a while.

"Does Ella ever ask about him?" He says and I nod.

"She does and she doesn't. Sometimes she'll talk about him, other times she'll ask questions. So yeah, I guess."

"Does he try to make an effort to see her and you won't let him or?"

"No. He doesn't call, write or e-mail. I've been trying to get him to come see her. I've called his number, it's out of service, the letters are always sent back and I don't even know if he looks at his e-mails." I look over at him and he's staring at me.

"Why would he want to stay away from Ella or you? Why did you two get a divorce anyways?"

"Oh that's easy. He was so work driven that he pretty much lived at his work. One day I came home and he wasn't there yet again. My friend Lanie called Dani to babysit Ella while we went out for a girl's night. I found him with another girl at a bar. They were doing a lot more than just 'having a couple of drinks'."

"His excuse?" I nod. "That's lame. I mean of you're going to cheat on someone like you at least have an extremely good reason for it. Although. The only reason that would be somewhat satisfactory would be amnesia." He smiles at me and I grin.

"Thanks."

"For?"

"Making this conversation light." He looks at me.

"Anytime." We look at each other again. His blue eyes hold mine once again. "Say something." I laugh and nod.

"Well my friend Lanie, the one I was telling you about? I'm pretty sure she thinks we're dating." He laughs and so do I.

"So does my mother. Can't guys and girls just be friends?" We laugh for a while again.

"Apparently not. I got a divorce not even a year ago I'm not exactly ready to date again." I say and we stop laughing.

"I'm too worried about Alexis to have a relationship." We look at each other and think about the other. I smile at him and he smiles back. As of on que my daughter stumbles into the living room sleepily.

"Home?" She mumbles sleepily.

"Honey did you take a nap?" She nods and reaches up to me. I pull her into my lap and laugh a little.

"Is Alexis taking a nap?" Rick asks and she bids and then mumbles something unintelligible. I start laughing.

"Is that why you were so quiet sweetie?"

"Home." She whines and I think about her meltdown earlier and decide that making her wait wouldn't be a good idea. She'd probably wake up Alexis.

"Okay hun. Let's go grab your jacket and we'll go home now." I pull her into my arms and walk over to wear our shoes and her jacket is. I help her Ito each item then put on my own shoes.

"Well Kate, Ella, it was nice to see you again." He grins as Ella sleepily smiles.

"Ella can you say bye to Mr. Castle?" I say and she looks up at me.

"Bye, bye Castle." She mumbles and we laugh.

"Bye Rick. Tell Alexis I said bye and that I'll see her soon." He nods:

"Bye guys." He says and we walk out the door. I barely hear the door close behind me and Ella starts to become extremely heavy on my shoulder. I look at my watch and see it's already 9:30. How didn't I notice that?

I lay there on the couch, half passed out waiting for Lanie when there is finally a knock on my door. I get up to answer, checking the peek hole to make sure it's her. I pull open the door and smile at her.

"Uh-un girl. You can't smile at me all sleepy and expect everything to be okay. Why're you so tired anyways? It's only 10:30." She walks into the apartment and I laugh a little closing the door as quietly as possible so I don't wake Ella up.

"Well let's see I have a three year old daughter, I'm a homicide detective and I—"

"Have a secret boyfriend that you neglected to tell your best friend about!" She says, arms crossed. I cross the room and take a seat on the couch.

"It wouldn't be a secret if I told you, besides he's not my boyfriend." I pull my legs up on the couch and she glares at me. "Honestly Lanie? I just got a divorce a year ago, I'm too busy with my three year old daughter and when I'm not I'm chasing down killers. As you can see I don't exactly have time for a boyfriend." She considers this for a moment. She sits down next to me and sighs.

"Then why do you spend so much time together?" She asks and I laugh.

"We have dinner with our kids once a week." I say.

"So how did this start?"

"Our kids met in an ice cream shop and I don't know, instantly bonded I guess. Anyways, he really likes Ella and I really like Alexis. So it works out. We have dinner once a week and the girls play, we eat, girls go back upstairs and we talk." I look over at her and before I even try to say that it's getting late she asks another question.

"What do you talk about?"

"Random things. Sometimes we talk about his writing, other times we talk about my work. It really just depends on the day."

"Today?" She asks. I think for a moment remembering everything, but what I remember most were his eyes. Big, blue and amazing.

"We—uh—we talked about Alexis's Mom and Ella's Dad. His writing, work. Normal things."

"You talked about your work?" She asks.

"Yeah he called me there earlier." Her jaw drops and I stifle a laugh. "What?"

"He calls you at work?"

"He's called me there twice. He sometimes forgets that I have an actual job." I admit, laughing.

"How come I'm not allowed to call you at work?" She narrows her eyes and I smile.

"You call me at work all the time. You're the medical examiner." She laughs and so do I.

"Sh, your kid is sleeping." We stop and I hear faint cries and sniffles. I sigh and stand up. Slowly I walk into her room where she's crying.

"Ella?" I ask and she reaches out for me, still whimpering a bit. "What's wrong?"

"You weren't here. I was scared you left. Where's Lexis? Where's Castle? Where are we?"

"Honey we left their place an hour ago." I say and she whimpers a bit.

"We did?" I nod. "Oh. Mama?"

"Yes baby?" I say brushing back some of her hair.

"Can I sleep with you?" I smile at her and reach out my arms. Pulling her from her small bed and walking into the living room. Her head already on my shoulder, I see Lanie smiling at me from the couch.

"I'll see you tomorrow Kate. Bye Ella." Lanie says getting up and putting on her shoes. Ella waves bye and the. Latches back into my neck.

"Bye Lanie." I wait a moment and give her a one armed hug with Ella squashed in the middle. I close the door after she leaves and Ella looks up at me.

"Bedtime?" I nod.

"Bedtime Baby."

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**A/N: I hope you liked it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry. I wanted to get this up a long, long time ago, but you know life got in the way. So between soccer and school I give you Chapter 4. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own Castle. Marlowe does it way better than I could ever.**

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"The Aquarium." Rick says, passing me a coffee.

"I beg you pardon?" I take a sip and watch Ella and Alexis run over to a table, each holding a bag with a cookie inside.

"The Aquarium. Alexis's birthday is coming up and every year before the party we always spend a day together. This year she wanted to know if you guys would come? So I'm offering you a whole day with me, Alexis and an entire assortment of sea life, but you must bring Ella." He smiles and I laugh.

"When? I'll see how my work plays out." He nods.

"The sixth?" We take a seat next to our girls and they look at us.

"Un-uh Daddy. You and Kate gotta sit at that table." She points to the next table over and it's hard to hold back my laughter.

"Why's that?"

"Cause Ella and I can sit alone." She states staring at him. We'd been seeing each other more often since we'd talked about Alexis's Mom. That was about two weeks ago at the beginning of September.

"I don't know." Rick looks at Alexis, then turns his attention to Ella. "Ella's three." He attempts at reasoning with Alexis.

"She'll be fine, I'll protect her. Plus I can just call you if we need anything. It's okay with Kate." She states, though I never actually said anything I'm just going to assume that she took my silence as a consensus.

"Kate?" I shrug.

"If you even think you need us we will be at that table." I point and steal a glance at Ella. They both nod and I exhale. "C'mon." We get up and move to the closest table. They smile and nod.

"So how is it with the letters and such?" I give him a small smile.

"Same state. You?"

"She hasn't cancelled yet so, fingers crossed." He makes a show out of crossing his fingers.

"She been asking a lot?" I look up at him, referring to her Mom without outwardly saying it and he shrugs.

"Not really, sometimes she does. El?"

"Not since we met you guys actually." He nods.

"That's good." He turns and looks at them to see that they're engrossed in their own little conversation.

"So the aquarium would be on what day?" I ask.

"Her birthday is on the 8th, so I would say probably on the 6th of October. I'm pretty sure it's a Sunday. The eighth is a Tuesday." I nod my head.

"I'll see if I'm off that day and if not I'll try to get it off. I've got a stack of personal days if I can't anyways." I smile and he beams at me.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes." I laugh slightly at his expression. I feel a slight tugging on my sleeve. I look down and Ella is staring up.

"Mama." She whispers all to loudly.

"Yes cupcake."

"What time is it?" Her green eyes staring intensely into mine.

"It's 3:30." She nods and goes back to Alexis.

"3:30 Lexis." Ella states proudly and I giggle slightly. I look up at Rick and see him smiling at me.

"What?"

"Nothing." He's still grinning at me so I crumple up a napkin and throw it at him.

"Shut up."

"Kate! You shouldn't use those words with kids around!" I roll my eyes and decide to let him have the last word, for once.

"Daddy when do I have my violin lesson?" Rick's face goes pale.

"Did you say it was 3:30?" I nod. "God Kate, I am so sorry. Her violin lessons are at four. We gotta go." I laugh at him.

"Don't worry Rick, I understand." Rick gets Alexis out of the small booth that she and Ella are in. Ella runs over to me and then to Alexis giving her a quick hug. I walk over and do the same.

"Bye Alexis. I'll see you on the sixth." She grins.

"You're coming!" I nod. "Yay! I can't wait. Thanks Kate." She gives me another hug and I laugh.

"Alexis, it's my pleasure."

"C'mon Alexis we gotta go." Rick says and Alexis grabs his hand.

"Bye guys."

"Bye Rick. Bye Alexis."

"Bye Kate. Bye Ella."

"Bye, bye!" Ella cheers from my side. They walk out and I look down at her.

"Now what?" She thinks for a moment then grins.

"The park!" And with that we leave the small coffee shop.

I walk back in the door with Ella draped all over me. "My God you fall asleep everywhere." I comment. This time it just happened to be the subway since I thought today would be a good day to walk, stupid. I walk into her room and lie her down on her bed.

"Sleep tight Baby Girl." I walk out careful not to make a sound. I throw my purse on the island and toss my keys in the bowl next to the door.

"Coffee or start dinner?" I debate aloud. "Why not both? Why am I talking to myself?" I shake my head slightly and open the fridge. Chicken, veggies and pasta salad would be good. I take out all the ingredients except for the already prepared salad. I flip on the coffee maker and start cooking.

I sit up on the island, reading while the chicken is cooking and realize that when I got home, I'd forgotten to check and see if anybody called.

"Dammit." I say, hopping off the counter I walk over to a book case where the cordless phone sits on the charger, answering machine built in. I look and see that the 1 on the answering machine is flashing.

"Great. It's either work, Lanie or Dani." I push play and everything stops. It definitely wasn't the voice I was expecting to hear. It ends and I replay it. I swallow as it comes back on.

"Hey Kate, it's Will. I'm in town and I thought maybe we could see each other. There are still some custody papers we need to sign. In other words you kinda have to show up. Call me." It fades into the background as he says his number. Will, in town? I take a deep breath and think. Who should I call? I pick up the phone and start dialing, running back to the kitchen to check on my food.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rick, it's uh, it's me." Then I think he may not know who me is. "I mean Kate. It's Kate."

"I know it's you, I could tell when you said me. What's wrong? You sound kind of nervous." I can hear something sizzle on the other end.

"Are you cooking cause I can call back—"

"What's going on?" He cuts me off. I exhale. "Kate, you know you can tell me anything."

"Will, my ex, he's back in town and he says he needs to see me about some custody papers, but I don't know if I should tell Ella or not, and I don't how I'm supposed to tell her I can't spend tomorrow with her like I promised. It's difficult and I just–I thought I should call you." I say hurriedly.

"I'm glad you did. I don't know what to say Kate, but I think I should start with you should call him back. Maybe not now, but after Ella's officially gone to bed and you should probably wake her up so she actually does sleep tonight." He scolds over the phone. My jaw drops and I check on the broccoli cooking on the stove. Most kids hated it, weirdly mine loved it.

"How did you?"

"Kate, I know you. I know Ella. You wouldn't be talking to me right now if Ella was up or if you just finished talking to him. You'd be trying to figure things out, but regardless you do have to call him." He says and I nod.

"Yeah you're right. I just, I don't know called the first person I thought of." I huff out a breath. "I hate that you're right!"

"I know you do." He laughs on the other line and I just listen to him, I can briefly hear Alexis in the background and smile. "Kate?" He asks.

"Yeah?"

"Go wake up Ella, then call him when she's officially asleep. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay, bye Rick. Thanks for everything."

"Always." And with that he hangs up the phone. I smile, I was in way too good a mood for someone who's ex-husband wanted to see her. I walked into my daughter's room and gently shook her awake.

"Ella, wake up." She slightly opens her eyes and smiles sleepily at me.

"I smell broccoli."

Of course he would pick this place! Of all the places in New York City he had to pick this one. I cross my arms and huff out a breath. The place where we met when we were teenagers. I wait for him to show up, already ten minutes late. God he was annoying!

"If he's not here in five minutes…" I trail off and tuck a curl behind my ear. I hear the bell ding, meaning the door has opened. A few seconds later someone was standing over my shoulder. Speak of the devil.

"Hi Kate." He tosses a manilla envelope on the table.

"Alright Will, let's get this over with." I say, I look around the old diner where we'd met so many years ago.

"You didn't bring Ella?" I glare at him.

"Why would I do that? She's too happy for you to go and screw it up!" He puts his hands up in defeat.

"Okay, well. I guess we have some papers to sign." He smiles at me and my glare doesn't falter.

"Hurry up! I'd like to get home before Ella wakes up." He nods and passes me the papers. I read them over silently to myself.

"What the hell is this?" I ask.

"Well technically we still have shared custody and if you sign it says you get full custody and I don't have to pay child support or alimony."

"I know that! I thought I already had custody over her?"

"A verbal agreement won't hold up in court Kate." He leans back in his chair, acting as though he's superior to me. I roll my eyes, he's right and I know it.

"So are you gonna sign it or should I just go and spend some time with Ella?" He waits and furiously I sign the papers.

"I hope you know that you're missing out on an extraordinary little girl." I push the papers towards him. I get up and look down at him. "Don't ever call the house again." I storm out the door and just start walking. I don't really know where, but walking was supposed to be calming.

Twenty minutes later and walking still isn't helping. I walk down to the nearest coffee shop. Caffeine always calmed me down. I rush into the store and almost immediately someone rams into me. Perfect! I think. I groan.

"Hey watch where your—"I look up to see blue orbs staring at me. Not just any blue eyes, Rick's blue eyes. "Hey."

"Fancy meeting you here. Didn't know you ran in these parts of town." I laugh, we were in the east village. In fact I didn't live too far from this place.

"Rick, Rick, Rick. Don't you know I do whatever, whenever, wherever?" I laugh again and he grins at me.

"How could I forget?" We stare at each other for a few minutes. A comfortable silence falls over us. "So what was with your entrance a few minutes ago?" Rick asks and I sigh.

"Tell you what, I'll go grab myself a coffee and then we'll take a walk and talk about it. Kay?" He nods.

"Kay." He walks over to the door and hovers giving me some space. I order a coffee and walk over to him.

"Ready to walk?" He nods and we take off. "Where's Ella?"

"At home with Lanie. Alexis?"

"She's with my Mom." We walk five minutes down the street and I notice a park just a little further, perfect place for this conversation to take place. We get to the entrance and I grab his hand and steer him into the park. I don't wanna let go, but it was only so he knew where I was going. But his felt percent in mine, drop his hand Kate. I think and then finally I drop his hand having finished my inner argument.

"Okay, well remember the other day when I called you about Will?" He nods. "Well I went to go see him today because it was about custody papers and he tells me to meet him at the diner where we met. I went and waited till he got there cause he was late as always. He tried making small talk, I just wanted to get it done and over with. He hands me a manilla envelope and I read it. It was pretty much an agreement saying that he doesn't have to pay child support or alimony and I get Ella."

"He did that! That's horrible! I thought you already had custody?" Rick asks and I nod.

"Yeah me too, but apparently a verbal agreement won't hold up in court." I go silent for a whole.

"What did he do to make you three times angrier than you already were?" I smile up at him. How did he know me so well? Then I think about my answer and the smile goes quicker than it came.

"He pretty much threatened that if I didn't sit the papers he'd go see Ella. So I signed and stormed off. He's never going near her again." I wait for his response and I look up to see him damn angry.

"He actually did that? Kate that's low! Really low, I mean you said he was bad, but I mean who uses a kid as leverage?" Scratch angry, he's furious. Hm, he's cute when he's mad, I think and a hint of a smile starts to play at my lips.

"He sounds awful! Horrible! Why'd you even marry him anyways?"

"That's a long story. Uh, we met when I was I don't know 20 and he was really great, really nice. I'd had a really hard time the previous year and I don't know he distracted me. Well I guess I just mad myself think that. Anyways ten months later I was pregnant and two months after that we got married. What about you and Meredith?"

"I see. The same thing happened with Meredith and I. She found out she was pregnant, we got married." He shrugs. "It always seems like a smart idea at the time."

"Yeah. Here's a question, why were you in the coffee shop way far away from where you live?" I ask.

"Coffee's calming." I laugh a little. "What?"

"That's why I was there too." We laugh slightly. "So why'd you need to be calmed?"

"Alexis's Mom cancelled, again. She said something about an audition and to 'Tell Alexis I'm so sorry that I won't be able to make it to her party, but I'll try to drop by after.'" He mocks her in the most ridiculous voice I can't help but laugh.

"Honestly?" He nods. "An audition? Aren't there like a million of those?"

"My mother always said that auditions were like men, there's always a new one around a corner. Apparently this one is career changing." He rolls his eyes.

"I see. How many of these career changing auditions has she had?" I ask.

"Including this one, 6. Those are just the ones that she had to cancel on Alexis over." I nod.

"What's her name again?"

"Meredith Feller."

"Never heard of her. So those 'career changing' auditions weren't worth missing spending time with Alexis over." He smiles at me.

"They really aren't. I just don't know how to tell Alexis." His smile fades quickly.

"Anyway I can help I'm here. So is Ella, I mean that kid is so adorable she can make mean old ladies smile." He laughs loudly and I join him.

"That gives me an idea. Can we move the aquarium date up a few days?" I raise an eyebrow.

"When?"

"September 30th?" He says, hopeful. I sigh.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you."

"How will it help though?" I ask.

"Well if I tell her right before the aquarium you and Ella will take her mind off of it. How about dinner afterwards?" He asks.

"Weren't we already having dinner that night?" I laugh.

"Oh yeah." He laughs too and then I stop and turn to look at him, noticing he does the same.

"Honestly thank you, Alexis will need you two afterwards." I nod.

"Thank you, I really needed a pick me up after the whole Will fiasco and you were the perfect person to provide it." I grin at him. He smiles back, just then my phone rings and pulls us from our little moment. I look and see that home is calling. Ella must be up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kate." I nod.

"Hey Lanie, she awake?"

"And asking for you. You sound too happy to be with Will, where in the hell are—oh you're with writer boy." I laugh.

"Am not."

"Are too." I smile into the phone.

"So what if I am." She laughs.

"I knew it. You better kiss that boy! And soon." She hangs up the phone and I stare at it bewildered.

"Ella's up?" I nod. "You have to go." I nod again. "Alright well tell her I said Hey."

"I will. Tell Alexis I'll see her soon." We both turn to walk away. After two steps I turn around. "Hey Rick?" He turns to face me. "Thanks again."

"Always."

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**A/N: So, what did you think? **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Heyy! Thank you for all of your reviews and alerts! It means a lot! :D So I literally wrote this chapter last night so if there are any mistake I'm sorry. I didn't get it up till now because of school and apparently it's illegal to not go -.-**

**Diclaimer: Honestly, the joke isn't that funny anymore.**

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"Okay Ella, yes I understand that it's important. I understand that you wanna start school now, but Ella you're still three. That means you can't start school now. Ella babe, Mommy's gotta go now. I'll see you soon. Bye, bye." I hang up the phone and stare at the murder board. "So we hand this case over to the Feds and they hand it back to us? This just, no it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!" I groan and the boys look at me. "Where are we on our other case?"

"Beckett are you sure everything is okay?" I turn to look at Esposito.

"Yes, except that a sadistic killer is out there praying on little girls."

"Okay. Well on the Freeman case we're just waiting for ballistics to come back a match and we'll be taking our killer to prison." Esposito tells me, I nod.

"Good, let's keep it that way. Ryan where are we with those phone records?"

"We've gone over this before Beckett. This is the fifth time I've gone over these phone records, nothing." I groan.

"There has to be something. Go back farther, ask the parents questions, again, do something." I look up at the clock. Any minute now and I would go and pick up Ella then we'd be heading to the aquarium. Perfect distraction for Alexis, easy way for me to know Rick, Ella and Alexis are still alive. Even if I already know they are fine it's still nice to shut up the little voice in the back of my head going 'what if?'

"Hey Beckett?" I look up at Esposito.

"Yeah?"

"I think you should go. Maybe we should pass this off to new detectives. The case is eating you alive." He says, acting as the brother I never had.

"Thanks Javi. I should go home, but don't pass the case off. Not yet."

"Kate every time you look at these girls all you see is Ella." *And Alexis* "We shouldn't be working the case. The Feds were stupid. I'm sure another team can take it, okay." I nod.

"Okay. I'm gonna go pick up Ella and spend some time with her." I go grab my jacket and throw it over my shoulder. "Try not to need me."

"You got it Boss." The boys reply in unison. I walk into the elevator and take a deep breath. Twenty more minutes and I'd be with Ella and we'd be on our way to see Alexis and Rick.

"So how did she take it?" I ask Rick as the girls run ahead to go see the sharks.

"Pretty good actually. She was a bit upset, but perked right up when I said we were going to the Aquarium today. She wondered if you guys were still coming, though." He admits and I smile.

"Is that why she squealed and jumped up and down going 'They are coming!'" He smiles. "Richard Castle, did you tell her we weren't coming?" He laughs and I slap his shoulder.

"Hey! I didn't tell her that! She just assumed you weren't."

"Why didn't you tell her we were?" He's still laughing and I giggle.

"Because I wanted to surprise her. I didn't expect her to react like that."

"Like what?"

"So sad," I smack him again. "Ow! Anyways then, when she sees you so, so happy. She doesn't even react like that when she sees Meredith." I smile.

"I'm telling you, Ella is magic." You can see them ahead of us faces close to the glass. Then Ella jumps back, clearly frightened. I try not to laugh, but it's just so adorable.

"Maybe and maybe it's you too." I grin at him. We stop three feet away from them and he stares into my eyes. I'm staring back, we're so engrossed in each other it's like the outside world doesn't exist.

"Besides, it's not like I straight up told her no when she asked if you were coming. I said 'we'll see.' Every time I say we'll see it means yes." He jokes and I laugh lightly.

"That makes one of us." I turn to look back at the girls and I see a man talking to them.

"Ella! Alexis!" I call to them, waving them over. They politely excuse themselves and come running over.

"Yeah Mama." Ella sings.

"What's going on Kate?" Alexis enquires.

"Who was that man?" I ask. They shrug.

"He was nice though." Alexis replies.

"Lexi honey I thought I told you not to talk to strangers." She stares at her feet and I look at Ella. I crouch down so that I'm closer to her eye level.

"Ella honey why were you talking to the man?"

"I thought it okay." I shake my head.

"Ella you can't talk to people you don't know, unless Mommy says its okay." She nods.

"Okay, I sorry Mama." She smiles at me.

"C'mere baby." I open my arms and she runs into them. I lift her up onto my hip. Alexis looks up at Rick.

"I'm sorry Daddy. I won't do it again, I promise." Rick nods.

"Okay Alexis. C'mon let's go find those fish with the pretty colours." Rick says, a little too excitedly.

"Mama what's that?" Ella asks pointing at a penguin. Oddly they had those here, don't penguins belong in Zoo's?

"It's a penguin honey." She shakes her head.

"No those aren't in the aquarium." I laugh.

"You read my mind baby." She looks around.

"Where's Alexis and Rick?" I shrug.

"Let's go find them." I take Ella's hand and we walk, looking for the two. I feel someone grab my hand and pull me slightly towards a little room. I guide Ella, not letting go of the hand and follow it to the arm it's connected to.

"Hi." Rick says, it's pitch black in the room but I'd know his voice anywhere. I smile.

"Hey. Where exactly are we?" I see a flicker of light and turn to where it came from, waiting for it again. That's when I see it, an electric eel is swimming around and lighting the small room.

"Isn't it cool?" Alexis coos.

"Very." I concede. Something—or more accurately a little somone—pulls on my pants.

"Mama, it's dark" Ella whispers to me. "I scared." I turn towards her.

"Don't be baby. Want me to hold you till we leave?" I whisper back.

"Yeah." I bend down and reach out for her, eyes starting to adjust. I stand up and look down at her, we're standing close to a case and Ella turns to look for Rick and Alexis.

"Mama, I can't see them." Rick laughs and I can tell he's next to me. Ella however continues to search over my shoulder. That's when an eel rams into the glass lighting itself up. I jump back slightly, gasping and grab Rick's hand. I had only briefly let go to pick up Ella. He laughs at me.

"Not funny." I say.

"C'mon guys. Whatdaya say we go back out there?" Rick asks.

"Okay." Alexis concedes.

"Yes please." Ella says, still searching. She was oblivious to the fact that something just rammed into the glass in front of us.

"Lead the way." He leads me over to the door and I'm pretty sure Alexis is guiding him. Soon the light from the door shines and we're back out in the now too bright aquarium lights.

"Down." Ella says and I set her on her feet, careful not to let go of Rick's hand this time. It felt right so I just went with it. We walked over to another set of cases and a woman with two kids comes over and stands next to us. Alexis and Ella are staring at the fish wide-eyed.

"Rick. Rick, look." I point over at them as a rather large fish swims bye. We laugh a little and then just smile at them.

"How do you do it?" I turn and look at the woman.

"Do what?" I ask.

"Have such amazingly behaved kids. Mine are little terrors. I mean that little girl is what two, three? She's so well behaved. How do you two do it?" I smile.

"Well Kate and I are just blessed to have such wonderful kids." I grin at him.

"Yeah we are aren't we?" I stare into his eyes and he stares into mine.

"Wow, you two look like your still at the head over heels, this is first time I've ever been in love, you complete me stage. That is great, c'mon there has to me a secret to that. You have two perfect kids and you're still completely engrossed in each other." I look over at her, about to protest, but Rick cuts me off.

"Luck. I found her, she found me. We just always have that spark." He smiles at the woman and I turned to stare wide-eyed at him. He just told this woman we were together!

"Well mine just ran off. Take care." We nod.

"You too." I say, the second she's gone I slap his arm with my free hand.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"Being a-a you." I glare at him.

"What she thought we were together, I thought why screw up her dreams on love still existing." I roll my eyes.

"You're so cheesy." He grins.

"Yeah, but I cook." I laugh and nod.

"That you do." I laugh lightly again and he looks at Alexis and Ella still completely drawn in by the fish.

"Speaking of which, why don't we take them home for some food? It's like 5:30."

"Sounds good. Lexi, Ella, what do you guys think about dinner?" They turn around and run to me. A chorus of 'what are we having' and 'can we eat it soon' thrown at me. I look up at Rick. "Ask him." I point and soon I'm not the one they're firing questions at anymore.

"We should do something for the next while, until Ella comes down ready to go." Rick says excitedly. I manage to keep the grin off my face because it was a little too odd how excited he was. It was our ritual after dinner, sit and talk about anything and everything until Ella comes down ready to leave.

"Like what?" I ask, all too cautious.

"Twenty questions." He says.

"Rick we played this the first time I came for dinner, I smile at him. "Remember."

"No that was the question game. This is 20 questions, no kids, no lies, no dodging questions." I sigh and he waits for me to say something.

"Alright, fine." I concede. "You first."

"Okay, um what's your favourite month?"

"October, November. Those are always the best." He nods. "What about you?"

"I like April. Everything's in bloom." I nod my approval.

"How poetic." I smile. "My question is, have you lived in New York your whole life or did you move at some point and come back?"

"I went to Hollywood for about six weeks when I was 8, when I was 10 I was on the road with my Mom. That year was fun, I almost had to repeat fifth grade, uh when I was fourteen my Mom sent me to boarding school, but other than that I've never officially moved to a different city. You?"

"Nah, New York has always been my home. Never going to leave either." I answer. He seems to consider that.

"You wouldn't go on vacation out of the city?" He raises an eyebrow. "That's just weird." He's smirking and I hit home with the pillow. "Ow! You've been hitting me a lot today!" He's slightly laughing and I roll my eyes.

"That's cause you're being a jackass." He puts his hands over his heart in mock defense.

"Ouch Kate, that hurts. I will have you know I am a wiseass not a jackass." I grin.

"My bad I'm so sorry, wiseass." We laugh for a minute.

"Okay, favourite sport?"

"Cross-country. I love running." He nods.

"You look like a runner. Mine's soccer, I love that game. Alexis too, she plays, you should come see her sometime." I nod my head.

"Yeah when the season starts." He thinks about that.

"Oh yeah. Okay your question."

"Have you ever been arrested?" He laughs.

"Plenty of times! All the charges were dropped though." I glare at him. "What? I know the mayor."

"Why were you arrested?" I ask.

"That detective is a different question and you will have to wait your turn to ask it." I roll my eyes.

"Fine, go."

"Favourite quote?" He asks, I ponder that for a moment.

"You're asking a lot of 'favourite' questions," I comment he looks at me and I inhale, prepared to continue. "Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you."

"Dr. Suess?" I nod. He smiles at me. "Your favourite quote is a Dr. Suess quote?"

"Yes okay, it's Dr. Suess. What's yours writer boy?" I say.

"Be the change you want to see." He replies, honestly I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting another writer or an actor or something, but I wasn't expecting Gandhi.

"Really?" I look at him.

"Yeah really. Ever since that John Lennon song 'Imagine' that's all people have been doing. Imagining what the world would be like if this happened, they should actually be doing something to make it happen." I beam at him.

"Wow, that was just, wow." I can't stop smiling.

"Kinda makes you want me right?" I roll my eyes and laugh.

"In your dreams writer boy." We smile at each other and I realize I get my question now.

"So, why were you arrested?"

"Well, I rode a police horse, naked." I gape at him.

"What? How'd you get it?"

"I kinda stole it. It was spring." I laugh.

"That's nasty." He nods. "Were you drunk?" He nods, again. "Must've been hell waking up in the slammer." He laughs at that.

"It's a really good thing I know the Mayor. I had theft of police property, drunk and disorderly and indecent exposure over my head after that one." We laugh for a while.

"Nice." He nods at me and we hear someone sleepily make their way down the stairs. I turn and look, scratch that two somebodies. Ella makes her way over to us followed by Alexis.

"Home?" I smile at her.

"Sure baby. Rick, we'll continue this the next time." He nods.

"That we will." The four of us walk to the door I help Ella into her shoes and turn to Alexis.

"Do I get a hug?" Alexis grins and launches herself at me.

"Bye Kate, thanks for coming today. It was awesome. Can you still come to my party?" I smile at her. She'd invited Ella and I about a week ago, I'd told her yes. She must be doubting it because of Meredith.

"I've got it booked off work, so we'll be there." I pull back and stand up. Ella and Alexis hug. They talk for a moment before Ella runs to give Rick a quick hug.

"Be good." He says to her, Ella giggles.

"No promises." I answer for her, knowing that's exactly what she's thinking. I walk over to him.

"Thanks again Rick, it was a really great day." I smile at him.

"No thank you. She's been completely and utterly distracted all day today. All because of you and Ella." I smile.

"I'll see you soon."

"See you soon." I wave bye and pick up Ella.

"Bye guys." Alexis and Rick say in unison.

"Bye bye." Ella says and I wave. Ella lets out a yawn and so do I.

"Look at that munchkin yawns really are contagious."

I roll over in bed and for the first time in a while, Ella hasn't crawled in next to me. She's either had a really, really good dream or a really bad one and is scared to move. I decide to check and as I cross into her room the phone rings. A quick peek at her reveals that she's sound asleep. I run to grab the phone, answering just before the answering machine picks up.

"Detective Beckett." I answer.

"Hey Katie." I pause for a moment, just long enough to catch my breath.

"Hi Dad."

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**A/N: Bit of a cliffhanger I guess. Don't worry everything will be in the next chapter. I'll have it up sometime soon. **

**So, what did you think?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I am so, so sorry! I usually get hit with inspiration anywhere so I write all of my fanfics out on my phone's notes then upload them onto here in this huge long process, anyways well I kinda broke my phone's screen and had to send it in to get fixed and I just got it back... That's why I haven't updated soon like I said I would. So I made this my longest chapter so far as a way of an apology. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I do not own Castle...at all.**

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I slowly make my way to the couch and realize that Ella's door is open. As quietly as possible I make my way to her door and close it, phone still pressed against my cheek. I tip toe back to the living area and decide to sit on the island.

"How're you?" He asks, after the silence has taken over for quite sometime.

"I'm good, Dad. How're you?" I ask, swinging my legs gently from the countertop. Then my heel hits the counter. "Ow!" I mouth so that my daughter can't hear me.

"I'm good Katie, how's Ella?" He asks and I fidget.

"She's good. Happy, energetic, easily excited, questionative, she's a three year old little girl who doesn't stop to think about the consequences of her actions. She does try though, emphasis on try." I stifle a laugh. The girl did know how to get into trouble, surprisingly though she never did anything major and when she did get in trouble she always tried to fix it. I really do have the perfect child.

"That's good. I'm glad she's alright." He says and I can hear the smile through the phone.

"Dad what're you doing calling so late?" I ask, twiddling my thumbs and holding the phone between my shoulder and cheek.

"I'm trying again Katie." He says into the phone. I clamp my eyes shut.

"I see." I huff out.

"I know I've tried before, plenty of times, but I think I'm gonna do it this time." I shake my head, disbelieving. "I want to be there for you and Ella."

"Dad just because you're trying doesn't mean I can automatically let you back into our lives. Ella needs someone stable, she needs someone who can always be there for her." I say and then I take in a deep breath.

"I know." He whispers.

"Do you?" I ask, harshly. "Because it doesn't seem like you do. We go through this everytime you 'try', I'll be there for you Dad, I always will be, but please just make sure that you really can do it. Give it some time and you can see Ella, but not now." My voice has gone up and then back down again. I close my eyes again.

"I understand." He whispers and a wave of hurt washes over me. I didn't want to be harsh, I just want to protect Ella.

"I have to go Dad."

"Bye Katie." He breathes. I hang up the phone and walk over to the charger, slamming it down on it.

"Mama," Ella calls, walking sleepily into the hallway. She walks over to me and takes one look at me. The tears prickle the back of my eyes. She grabs onto my hand and starts to pull me towards the hallway. "Bedtime." She's got her raggedy teddy bear tucked under one arm and she's smiling up at me. She walks into my room and climbs into my bed. I turn out the lights and copy her. She cuddles into my side and I smile down at her. "Stop thinkin', s'makin you sad." She mumbles, a small tear runs down my cheek and I grin.

"Anything for you baby girl."

"Ella sit still." I complain and she bounces up and down from excitement.

"Why?" She enquires, I groan. That had become her favourite word and for me, the worst word in the English dictionary.

"Because I said so." I'd hated that excuse when I was a kid, but I now understood why people used it.

"Why?" She asks. I sigh.

"Ella honey I'll be done your hair soon, until then do you wanna play a game?" I ask.

She tilts her head and chews on her lip, "Like what?"

"The quiet game, whoever can stay the quietest the longest wins. Okay?" She nods. "Starting now." This little trick was my favourite, it's always quiet until I say something.

We get to the loft and Ella's bouncing, trying not to talk yet shaking with words. "Okay we're here." I say, breaking the silence. That lasted since I was doing her hair. Well she said something and we restarted the game, but still it was fairly quiet.

"Yay! I win Mama." She squeals from the back.

"Yeah you do baby." I go to the back seat and pull Ella from her carseat. I grab the gift from the other side of the car. Ella's on her feet holding out a hand to me. I take hold of it and soon we're at the door to the building. I turn around quickly and lock the car doors. It was chilly outside and Ella was already complaining.

"C'mon Ella just two more minutes and we'll be up at Alexis's birthday party." I smile at her. "Just one quick elevator ride." I promise. She starts to tap the elevator walls. "Ella Mariee Johanna Beckett stop it." She huffs out a breath and stops her tapping. She reached up and effortlessly twirls her hair, I honestly don't even think she notices what she's doing. We reach the floor and she runs to the door. Knocking furiously. I grab her and lift her to my hip so she stops. "You only gotta knock once." I say, laughing.

"But why?" She asks, I groan.

"Because it's annoying to knock more that once." I admit to her and she contemplates that.

"Why?" She asks again, shouldn't someone be opening the door by now?

"Because it is." Just as she opens her mouth again the door opens and Alexis is standing on the other side grinning.

"You came!" She exclaims.

"'Course we did silly girl." I say. "And early as promised." I set Ella on her own two feet and she scampers off into the apartment. I pass Alexis the gift. "For you birthday girl."

"Thank you." I walk in behind Alexis and Ella runs over to us, having disappeared to god knows where. I kneel down and give Alexis a hug.

"Happy Birthday Rosebud." I say to her.

"Rosebud?" Alexis questions.

"It's a nickname for red-heads." I say smiling down at her as I stand up.

"Okay," She shrugs and turns to run and put a gift on a table. "Daddy's in the study." I nod and watch the two of them play for a while. I walk over to the study, knocking lightly on the door.

"Come in." I walk in. "Alexis I just need to talk to Mommy for—" He turns and looks at me. I blush and walk back out. I close the door, feeling the heat in my cheeks. Alexis smiles and looks up at me.

"Kate, can you help me hang this up?" She holds a streamer in her hand and I smile at her.

"Sure Rosebud, where?" She points and I lift her so she can place it in the right place. She grabs my hand and pulls me towards the couch. We sit down, Ella having disappeared yet again. I hope she wasn't in the office. I look and see that the door is closed; Ella didn't know how to close a door for the life of her so that was a very good sign.

"Kate, can I ask you something?" I look down at the small red-head.

"Sure, anything." I answer, she's extremely serious and so am I.

"Will you stand next to me when I blow out the candles?" She asks, rather hesitantly.

"If that's what you want." I answer.

"It is." She smiles at me.

"Then yeah. Just make sure I'm in view and we'll have a code word, okay?" She nods happily.

"Can I come up with it?" She asks excitedly.

"Sure kiddo." Alexis scrunches up her nose.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I liked Rosebud better." She says bluntly, I laugh.

"Alright, Rosebud it is."

"But only you can call me that!" She exclaims. I nod.

"Deal. Now back to this code word." She thinks again.

"Kate!" She decides. I smile at her.

"You sure?" She nods.

"Okay then Kate it is." Ella decides this is the perfect moment to run back into the room.

"Mama! Mama!" She jumps onto the couch and climbs in my lap.

"Yes Ella?" I smile at her.

"Why do people breathe?" She asks me, these questions are getting a bit ridiculous. Luckily for me Rick walks out and taps me on the shoulder. He smiles at me and points back to his office, I nod and walk towards it.

"Alexis hun, I'll be back in just a minute and Ella, no more asking the question why." I state walking into the office. I lean against his desk looking at him.

"So," he starts and I'm listening.

"So?" I ask, pushing him to elaborate.

"Meredith called to argue and when I saw that you got here, I just hung up." I nod my head, waiting for him to continue. "She won't be able to make it till New Years."

"That's ridiculous." I scoff. "New Years? As in like the start of next year?" I roll my eyes. "That woman is something special, I'll tell you that much."

"Yeah," he agrees. "She's something alright." I laugh and so does he. I look up at him as he moves to lean against the desk; he's not two inches away from me. I grab his hand.

"Everything will be okay. Promise." He smiles at me.

"Funny, she promises things all the time and they always fall through that promises hold almost no meaning to me anymore. But I actually believe you." We smile at each other. He's shared so much with me, an ex-wife, problems with raising Alexis without her mother, having to tell her every time Meredith wasn't coming like she promised and of course Alexis. Should I tell him about my mom? I think and huff out a breath. Then I have to tell him about my Dad and, it's just so. It's like a bowl of spaghetti and you can never untangle a bowl of spaghetti. Everything is difficult and I—_Katherine Beckett you do not get scared about this, it's not like he's_ _going to run away screaming at your past._ He might, _urgh your impossible_.

"Kate?" Rick asks, pulling me from my rather amusing inner argument.

"Yeah?" I ask, still a bit distant.

"Is everything okay? You seem a bit, off." I shake my head. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not here, not now. Later, I promise." With that I let go of his hand and head out because I hear the first knock at the door.

"Woah, how did you get on the table?" I say plucking a little boy from the dining room table. I think he was dancing, but now he's squirming and laughing. I set him down and he runs off. They'd all finished eating pizza around 20 minutes ago and there were at least 25 6-7 year olds running around. We'd just finished watching Alexis open her gifts and they were all crazy. Don't worry Kate, Rick promised after they ate cake they'd be going home!

I turn around and see Ella running to me and hiding behind my legs. "Hello little Miss." I turn around and hoist her on my hip.

"They're everywhere!" She whispers.

"Who?" I ask, looking around.

"Big kids!" Ella honestly sounds terrified. It's cute and hilarious.

"I thought you wanted to go to school." She turns wide eyed to me.

"They go to?" It's extremely hard not to laugh so I just smile.

"Yeah hun, that and bigger." She clings on tighter to me. "You're not scared of Alexis. Why're you scared of them?"

"Cause Alexis is nice and, uh, she's…"

"Calm, normal, not climbing on tables?" I'm gonna have to tell Rick about that later. I haven't seen him since the first knock on the door. There must've been at least 10 kids behind that door. The worst part was there were more to come and parents were just dropping off their kids. Only two adults stayed. Paige's Mom and Dad, they'd arrived as about the sixteenth guest. They saw how much trouble we were having and offered to stay. I hadn't even met them yet, I saw one of them in passing and they'd introduced themselves and that was it.

"Yeah! She's Alexis, they're all, uh…" Ella says, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Crazy, wild, climbing on tables?" She nods furiously.

"Yeah. Except Alexis's friend Paige." Ella grins.

"Then why don't you go play with them." I say attempting to set her down because there are two kids fighting over, something.

"No, I can't find them. We were walkin and I heard you so I looked for you, but I didn't see you. When I went to find 'em again, they was gone Mama." She mumbles into my neck. Just as she peaks I see a flash of bright red. Thank god! I follow the little fireball. I set Ella down and she grabs my hand.

"Rosebud!" I call to her. She turns around and beams at me. She walks over with; who I'm assuming is Paige.

"Hi Kate this is Paige." She motions to the girl she's with.

"Hi Paige, I'm Kate." I say, waving. She waves back and that's when Alexis see's Ella.

"Ella! We thought we lost you! You were right behind us and then you weren't!" She exclaims, relieved. It's cute. I let go of Ella's hand as she starts talking with Alexis. I walk back over to those two kids who were fighting to find that they're not there anymore. The lights flicker and I see Rick standing on the table. If he makes one wrong move he'll hit his head off the light. Someone get me a camera!

"Please calm down!" He yells and the kids amazingly, quiet. "Thank you, now if the birthday girl will please come over here." Alexis runs over and Paige and Ella follow sweetly behind her. "Now I hope everyone brought their singing voices!" Rick yells and smiles at all the kids.

"Wait!" Alexis squeals. "We can't blow out the candles yet!"

"Why?" Rick asks crouching down on the table. Alexis looks around and then sets her sights on something.

"Kate!" She beckons me over and I follow. "Okay, now we can start." Rick stands up and at this exact moment makes the writer moves and hits his head. The room erupts in laughter and he makes a face.

"Ow! Anyways, I'll go get the cake. So everybody, start singing."

Everyone starts singing 'Happy Birthday.' Alexis is all smiles and laughs as her Dad sets down a huge cake. She looks up at him just as we finish singing. She looks back at me, then at everyone else. After she's done looking at people she blows out the candles.

"Yay!" Everyone yells.

"Happy Birthday Alexis." Rick grins at her.

"Thanks Daddy." She replies, she gives him a hug and then runs to me. I bend down and give her a hug too.

"Happy Birthday Rosebud." I say, just so she can hear.

"Thanks Kate." She whispers back. We pull away and she joins her friends again. Rick looks from me to Alexis and back again. He repeats this a few times then, climbing on the counter this time instead of the table where the cake sits he yells, "Who wants cake?" Kids shout me and charge to the table. Half an hour left Kate, c'mon you can do it.

"Bye thanks for coming!" Rick says the last person leaving.

"Can Ella and I go play now?" Alexis asks and Rick nods. They take off and that's the last we see of them. I collapse on the couch, exhausted.

"So, you and Alexis are awfully close." He grins and so do I. He sits down next to me. Smiling that smile that gives me butterflies.

"Yeah, we are." I say, she was such an amazing little girl. She was always happy and smiling; I think it might hurt just as much to see her sad as it would to see Ella sad.

"You know I think she really trusts you. It scares me a little." I nod.

"Scares me too. I don't want to let her down, cause then she'll be sad and I don't ever want to see her upset." I admit and he just stares at me.

"You, Katherine Beckett, are absolutely wonderful." I grin.

"You're not so bad yourself Castle." He grins.

"Castle, I like that." He looks at me and I roll my eyes. "Didn't Ella call me that once?" I think about it and laugh at the memory.

"Yeah she did. I remember she was like half asleep on my shoulder. You know like the second we walked out of your place she was out cold on me?"

"Really?"

"That kid was passed out, unconscious, it was adorable." I tell him. We smile at each other. His eyes pull me in again and I find that we're doing this a lot more lately, we've become a lot closer. Tell him Kate, I think to myself. Remembering our conversation from earlier I can feel my eyes clouding.

"Kate, is everything okay?" He asks, tentatively.

"No." I whisper, my voice cracks and I advert my gaze.

"Is this about earlier?" I nod. "Will?" I shake my head. "Then what? What is it Kate? I'm here for you, no matter what. When we made that deal about Alexis and Ella, I meant that for you too. I don't care if you hate my guts; I'll always be there for you. As a friend, as a distraction. Anything you need." He puts his hand on my arm and I breathe out a sigh.

"There are some things I need to tell you about me and it's about the past and it still effects the future and the present. It affects me and it affects Ella." I say, preparing him for it.

"Go on." He says, hand still on my arm.

"When I was 19 my Mom, she was—she was killed Rick. It was bad, for a long, long time it was all I could think about besides Ella."

"God, I'm sorry Kate. How old were you?" He asks me.

"I was 19. My Mom, Dad and I were all supposed to be out for dinner that night. She was taking a long time to get there, after almost an hour we decided to order. By the time we were done we went home, we figured she'd just forgotten about it or stayed late to work. Ella was at their place with the sitter. So we went home and when we got there, there were cop cars everywhere. A Detective Raglan was there, the baby sitter was on the front porch. She had Ella with her; I saw her point to us. I think that's when everything started making sense; I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks. He told us and then he walked away. The case went cold, Ella was only a year old, and she loved her so, so much." I admit to him, the tears falling down my cheeks.

"Kate, I-is there anything I can do?." He apologizes. I look at him, tear soaked face.

"Wait, that's not even the worst part. So I called Will, but couldn't get a hold of him because he was working late, again. I stayed the night with my Dad, but the next day Ella and I had to go home. I told Will, he comforted me, he was there for me. Sort of, it always seemed kinda distant, you know?" He nods his head. "Anyways, my Dad didn't take the news to well. He drowned his sorrows in alcohol…" I sniffle. He pulls me in for a hug and I rest my head on his shoulder, continuing to cry.

"Oh Kate, I'm so, so sorry." He holds me tightly. "Is he sober now?" He asks; I pull back; wiping at my eyes.

"That's the worst part, he tries, and he really does. He just, he can never do it. He—he called me the other day. He was giving me the same old story about wanting to be there for Ella and I, he knows he's failed before, but he's really gonna try this time. It's the fifth time he's said it, it's the first time I've heard from him in months! I just, I love him to death, but I'm scared that if I do let him in again he'll leave us broken hearted. I can't do that to Ella." He looks at me, nodding.

"Believe me I understand." At some point in the entire mess that is me the arm that was on mine has been wrapped around me. It's comforting, way, way too comforting. Kate you just got a divorce. No that was like nine months ago! Urgh, just stop arguing with yourself! My inner argument fades as I nod my head. "Did you tell him that?"

"Maybe a little too harshly." I admit sheepishly. He nods. "It's just, he always does this and—" I try to explain myself.

"Kate, relax, I understand. I'd do the same thing if the roles were reversed."

"Really?" He laughs lightly.

"Yes really. When did he call you?" He asks me.

"Late that night we went to the aquarium." I admit.

"I'm glad you're telling me about it." I smile at him.

"I'm glad I told you." I tell him. I lean against his arm and close my eyes. "I could really use a distraction."

"Let's get back to our game of 20 questions!" He says almost immediately. I smile.

"Oh, you are so on." I sit up and we start our game.

"Goodnight Ella." I close her door and walk into the living room; my phone ringing, again. I see that it's Lanie calling and hesitate to answer it, knowing she's more than qualified to conduct a Spanish interrogation. She was my best friend after all and every girl knows that their best friend can grill them better than steak from a keg. "Hey Lanie, Ella's in bed can we talk later?"

"No, have you seen the paper today?"

"No, I got up and pretty much got ready for the day. We actually slept in, didn't get up till about 10:30, and we had to be at Alexis's party for noon to help them set up and stuff. So that's what we did, that's where I was all day."

"Well let's just say you and writer boy are on page six with Ella and Alexis too. You better be calling and asking what that's about! It says you two are together." My eyes widen us on page six? I felt butterflies in my stomach again. I took a quick glance at the clock.

"It's Saturday today right?"

"Yeah." She answers.

"Okay well Alexis is going over to Paige's house to play tomorrow at around 3, and Ella will be with you right?" I ask her.

"Yeah, I've had this day marked off for almost a month. I miss my god baby." She answers, I can't help but smile. Those two were thick as thieves.

"Alright I'll take a break off of work and ask him about it tomorrow. He'll know what to do this kinda thing happens all the time right?"

"So it's true?" She asks, I can hear her giddiness trough the phone.

"No, it's not." I tell her honestly, throwing myself down on the couch.

"Girl, how many times do I have to tell you to kiss that boy before you actually do it?" She demands on the other end.

"I know, I know. I'm infuriating. Goodnight Lanie." I say.

"Mhm, Imma smack you, you know that." I laugh. "Goodnight Kate. See you tomorrow." With that I hang up the phone and start thinking about what on earth to say. I crawl into bed and burrow under the blankets, the October air had a bite in it.

"Maybe I should just kiss him. It'll make everything a whole lot sweeter." I shoot up in bed as I realize what I've just said. Good thing no one is around.

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**A/N: What did you think?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: It's official you guys are just the absolute best! Here I am not updating for like three weeks and then here you are still reading, favouriting, alerting and reviewing this story! It's awesome! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH! I figured I'd update today since I won't be able to update for another little while because I'm graduating tomorrow, but I know where I'm going with the next chapter so, yeah. Anyways, sorry to keep you waiting I just wanted to say THANK YOU!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it! There I said it, I do NOT own Castle. **

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I woke with a start that morning; there was a knock at my door. I rolled over, I looked at my alarm clock it glared bright red numbers at me. 6:30? I didn't have to be at work till noon today so it wouldn't be Lanie. Who in the hell was at my door. They continued to knock and I pulled back the covers. "Do people ever actually understand the importance of sleep?" I groan, knowing if I didn't hurry up and get to the door Ella would wake up, most likely unhappily. She might even cry out of frustration. I finally get to the door and open it to see Rick and his hand up to the door prepared to knock again. "What're you doing here?" He runs a hand over his face and sighs.

"I am so sorry." He passes me the paper. I take it and see the picture, Ella was in my arms her face buried in my neck, I was holding Rick's hand and Alexis was on his other side. I was smiling down at her and she was grinning at me. I remember that moment; Rick had said something absolutely ridiculous then got carried off into his own little world. I'd made a remark and Alexis heard and we were laughing, we'd smiled at each other afterwards, mostly because it was our little joke. Ella and Rick had both been oblivious to us. It actually wasn't a bad picture. We did look like a couple, but it was a cute picture. _Yeah but people think you're a couple_. Eh, so let 'em. _You can't it's too_—just shut up. I smile realizing that the pro-getting with Castle side was winning arguments now. "Kate I had no idea this was going to happen. Paula's supposed to give me a heads up about these kinds of thing and she just—she didn't even know about it. Which means it was last minute or something. I am so, so sorry."

"It's okay." I tell him. He's still standing in the hallway so I let him in.

"Our kids are in the paper, how is this okay?" I take his hand and take a deep breath. I pull him onto the couch next to me.

"Because you'll handle it, you'll do an interview tell the papers that you're still single and ready to mingle and that I'm just your daughter's friend's Mom. That I didn't know where to go so you grabbed my hand to guide me and let go like two seconds afterwards. It'll all work out." I tell him, a small smile on my face.

"But Ella, Alexis…"

"Tell the press that Alexis doesn't need to be in the paper. She's young and deserves a normal life. That you and I shouldn't be making headlines, that my daughter shouldn't be in the paper because she's younger than Alexis and they both deserve to be treated like every other little girl out there. With respect and I would appreciate if Alexis wasn't in the paper and so would the other little girl's parents. That two girls shouldn't have their faces printed for everyone to see on page six." I smile at him and rub soothing circles on his hand. "Like I said it'll all be okay."

"I just wish I could have warned you or told you ahead of time." He says apologetically.

"Its fine, it'll work itself out. Look you can't even see their faces all too well really. Ella's got her face hurried in my neck and Alexis is sorta behind you smiling at me. My face in the paper isn't that big a deal." I shrug it off. He just stares blankly at me. "What?"

"How did you become so extraordinary? Any other girl would've flipped or their head would've gotten three times bigger at being on page six and all of New York knowing her face. But you, you on the other hand, just brush it off. You smile and tell me everything will be okay. How did you get to be so perfect?" I'm taken aback by his words.

"I could ask you the same thing." I answer.

"You'd known about the article for all of what an hour maybe two before you were finally able to come over here. By the way how did you get my address?"

"It was half an hour and I play poker with your boss." He admits; I smile.

"Right, anyways. You knew it'd be easier to tell me in person do you got here as fast as possible. You found someone to watch Alexis while you were gone and you came right over. No questions asked. You were prepared for a storm, but you didn't even think twice about coming here and facing it head-on. You told it to me like it is. You tried to make me see that it was bad, I made you see that it was but not as bad as you thought. How did you get to be so you?" I ask him.

"I'd only ever done that for you." He whispers. We smile at each other. "How long have you known?"

"Since maybe 11 last night, Ella decided it was the perfect night to not fall asleep and fuss all damn night. When I finally got her to sleep Lanie called and told me. I figured you'd already be asleep and Alexis would be too, so I decided against taking the risk of waking you, Ella and Alexis up by going over and talking with you about it then. I thought it'd be better to talk about it during my break." I smile at him. "You on the other hand could've woken the beast and that would've been chaos." I laugh quietly and he chuckles.

"Honestly I don't know what I did to have someone as great as you in my life." He says to me.

"Me either." I'm still holding his hand so we just continue to sit like that.

"What time do you have to leave?" I ask him.

"Alexis won't be up till at least nine, so 8, 8:15. What about you?"

"Uh, Lanie's coming here at around 8:30 and she, Ella and I are doing whatever Ella wants." I smile at him. "I think Lanie said something about breakfast." I shrug.

"You don't care?" I shake my head and lean against the back of the couch.

"As long as I get my coffee." I answer, closing my eyes. He laughs and I smile, opening one eye and taking a peak at him. "Wanna watch some T.V?"

"Sure." I sit up and turn it on. I flip through about fifty channels before I get to something we both wanna watch. We settle in and soon enough I find my eyids becoming heavier and heavier.

There's another knock on my door and this time I don't have to get up to open it. I snuggle closer to the source of warmth and then hear a surprised gasp. My smile falls and my eyebrows furrow in confusion. Who was at the door. I sit up and force my eyes open. There stood an overly happy Lanie who was going to start jumping up and down out of excitement. I roll my eyes and look back Down at my pillow and blanket only to realize that those two items aren't there and instead I just have Rick. "You are together!" Lanie squeaks. I toss my head back and groan. I get of the couch and grab into Lanie's wrist leading her back to my room so we don't wake anyone up with her insane squealing.

"Lanie we're not together." I say sternly.

"But, but." She points back and forth between where we were and here. "You were all cuddled up on the couch asleep." She thinks and her eyes widen. "Katherine Beckett did you have a one night stand?" I glare at her.

"No! I wouldn't do that! Besides we were fully clothed, I was in pjs." I say sternly.

"Your point, Ella doesn't knock! You could've put clothes on to make sure that she didn't see you!" She exclaims as quietly as possible.

"And what? She would come in and see him where her Daddy used to sleep? Do you know how much that would confuse her? How about when she talks to Alexis? How much that would confuse her? I can't do that to them." I say and she finally realizes it. With a simple nod of her head and a cross of her arms.

"Well you better kiss him soon. Cause of you don't I will, Writer Boy is fine. I don't understand why you haven't gotten your freak on with him yet." With that she turns around and walks out. I stand there dumbfounded.

"What?" I whisper, then I realize where she's headed. "Shit, Rick." I rush out of my room as quietly as possible. How could Ella still be asleep? I continue to walk into the living room and see Lanie smiling at Rick and him looking all too uncomfortable. Ah, just leave 'em. She wasn't gonna traumatize him, too much anyways. I walk over to Ella's room and open the door. She's sleeping soundly. I stand there in her doorway for a while; just watching her sleep. She makes a noise that makes it sound like she's scared. I run to her side fast as possible.

"Mama." She wails, it breaks my heart.

"I'm right here baby." I brush some hair away from her face.

"Don't let 'em leave, please Mama. Don't let 'em leave." She wails, I can see a tear trails own her face. I sit on her bed and pull her into my arms.

"Don't cry." I coo.

"Mama." She cries into my shoulder where I've cradled her against me. "Make 'em stay please!"

"Ella, who? Who's leaving?" I ask her, the tears soaking through my shirt.

"Rick and Alexis." She wails. "They can't go Mama." I sit there a bit stunned by her words.

"I promise they won't go. They won't leave you." I tell her, rocking her in my arms. "Wanna go back to sleep? Or if you'd like Auntie Lanie and Rick are here, you can play with them." She looks up at me, tear soaked face meeting my eyes.

"What about Alexis?" She asks.

"She's at home still asleep, Rick should go soon so that he's there when she wakes up." I say to her. She almost flies from my arms. She's got little purple pajamas on, they where pretty plain. Long pants, long shirt. The shirt had a design on it and that was pretty much it. Nothing to special about it. I sigh and take a quick look around and realize I should probably get up off the princess bed sheet and walk out into the living room.

I peek my head around the corner, all of Ella's tears gone and forgotten. I go and sit next to Rick on the couch. Ella has sandwiched herself between Lanie and Rick, she's also talking a mile a minute.

"Hey Rick can I, uh, talk to you for a sec?" I ask, he grabs my hand and as much as I love it and the hug and the arms being wrapped around me, I have to do this.

"Yeah, of course. Just one question first."

"Yeah?" I reply hesitantly.

"How're we supposed to get rid of them?" He asks pointing at the two on the sofa.

"Hey Ella why don't you ask Auntie Lanie that question about breathing?" I say to the young girl. Her eyes widen and she turns to Lanie asking all kinds of questions. I know I'm in for it later but, hey, this needed to be done. I pull him up off the couch the little girl to absorbed in what the great ME was saying she didn't even notice us leave. Once we get to my room I close the door and look back up at him. He's detached his hand from mine and moved to sit on my bed, he pays the spot next to him and I go. Sitting there beside him I know I'm going to hate myself for this.

"What's up Kate?" He looks into my eyes and I have to advert my gaze. It was clear as day that I was nervous. He grabs my hand and honestly it calms me down a bit. Why do you have gone such a fool? I ask myself.

"I—uh. I think we need to set some boundaries." I explain hesitantly. He drops my hand.

"What do you mean?" He asks, a bit guarded.

"I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression, I mean Ella never sees friends like you and I holding hands she only sees couples and I don't want to confuse her—" I continue to ramble and he just looks at me. I finally meet his gaze and it's filled with anger, hurt and something else. Hatred maybe?

"Kate is this about that damned article?" He asks.

"No, no. I told you I was totally cool with that." I say.

"Then why this? Why now of all time?" He asks, clearly angry.

"Why not now Rick? I know it's horrible timing but that's life! I told you I didn't give a damn about that stupid article! Why don't you believe me?" I ask a ferocity of my own bubbling up.

"Because your first line was 'I don't want to give people the wrong impression' Great line Kate! I commend you on your choice of words!" His sarcasm hurts and my voice rises a bit!

"It's not my fault that my daughter decided to have a nightmare about you and your daughter leaving. A nightmare that she only ever has about either me or her Dad leaving in. She doesn't understand our relationship Rick! Hell I don't even understand it! When I got the divorce I swore I'd never get close to someone who could easily breaks my heart in two like that and what did I do? I went out and met Richard Castle, not the writer, not the millionaire playboy, the father. The funny guy, the odd one out. It's not my fault that I'm scared that maybe my daughter has the wrong impression about us because she's afraid you'll leave and I know you promised and I believe in you and your promises 100% but I can't risk it." I'm fuming by the time I'm done. I realize I've been yelling and half the building has probably heard me so I lower my voice to normal and take a deep breath. "Do you wanna know the worst part? I thought your understand that I had to protect my daughter. Or at least be able to respect my choices even without a good explanation. But no, you jumped to a conclusion about something I already told you I was okay with and you didn't care. Like what I'd told you before meant nothing! That hurt, that was the worst part." It's silent for a long, long while.

"I think it's time for you to leave. Alexis will be expecting you soon." I say to him. He nods and walks out the bedroom door, once we're nothing in the living room he says goodbye to Ella who seems to have missed our entire fight because the TV is way too loud.

"Goodbye Lanie, nice to meet you." He says and goes to open the door.

"You too." He leaves and I steal the remote from the coffee table, turning it way down. "Kate, kitchen, now." Lanie growls, it's so ice cold I want to jump out of my skin. I follow her in there and flip on the coffee machine. "Spill."

"We fought." I say.

"Really, I had no idea! Thanks Captain Obvious." She replies.

"You're welcome Lieutenant Sarcastic." I answer her. She fixes a glare on me that makes me think she's going to kill me with a rusted spoon and I exhale a breath I didn't know I was holding, then I explain everything.

I sit there at work, noises and sounds consuming me. I stare down at the paperwork to release a suspect from holding, tapping my pen against the paper. It was the start of November and I really wasn't liking this whole 'Boundaries' thing. I really was the stupidest living thing to ever walk the earth. That's what Lanie had said when I told her about the fight, that and he was an ass for not respecting my decision and jumping to conclusions. I loved her I did but sometimes I just wanted her to tell me how stupid I was and leave the whole 'why you were angry in the first place' out. The dinners used to be every week at least twice a week, now I was lucky to see them once a week. Why did I have to be so stupid! Even Ella was starting to notice how different things were, the distance between Rick and I. It didn't take Alexis long to see it, maybe the first time we all saw each other again, talk weeks after the fight. It took either a fool or a three year old girl to not get it. Even the boys were starting to notice that I was moping, moping! It was bad, I hate the fact that I had to be so stupid, so me. I had to make thing better. I stop tall and I pull my jacket on and stand up, I take a look around and see that the place is still filled with life. We had a new case and the boys were going over financials, I had another dinner to go to, but this time things were gonna change.

"Mama are you and Rick fighting?" Ella asks as we wait for the elevator. I stay silent for a moment. "Well?"

"Yeah honey we are." I admit, I'd always been honest with her. Answered the important questions when she'd ask them.

"I knew it, you haven't been as nice to him as always." Ella comments, I look down at her. Maybe I didn't give her enough credit… "Are you gonna ever stop fighting or is it gonna be like with Daddy?"

"Time will tell sweet-pea." I answer as the elevator door opens. Just face it head on Kate.

It didn't take long for us to be back in the loft and the girls to abandon us. No doubt Ella spilling her guts to Alexis and worrying her. I don't think the three year old has learned the concept of a secret yet. "Hi Kate." Rick says, he'd said that already.

"Hmm?" I ask turning to him. He'd moved from the kitchen to the chair next to the couch where I was.

"Nothing, I—uh wanted to talk to you." He says boldly. I take a deep breath.

"Me too." I admit he smiles at me.

"Ladies first." He says.

"No you go." I insist as he speaks.

"Okay, I'm sorry." We say in unison. We smile at each other.

"Wait, why're you sorry?" He asks me.

"For coming up with the stupid boundaries, especially after what had happened. For being distant, for not being open, for only being there for Alexis when my deal stretched out to you as well." I say to him. "So I'm really, truly sorry. Wait what're you sorry for?"

"Jumping to conclusions, not letting you fully explain. Hell even needing an explanation, Kate if you said that you wanted boundaries I should've just respected that and told you that. I shouldn't have done what I did. Ands instead of trying to make it right I was just as distance and just as much to blame. So I'm sorry." He apologizes and I stare into his eyes. The last time I remember staring into them so intently they were filled with anger and hurt. Now, they're happy, simple, inviting.

"I'm sorry too." We nod at each other, silently forgiving the other.

"I think the food is done." Rick smiles. We get up and walk to the table.

"Alexis, Ella dinner." I call up the stairs. It's like tradition now, he cooks I call then because he won't let me do them all, we split dish duty. Well except for recently, recently it's just been difficult between us. The two girls come down and Alexis has a somber expression on her face, while Ella is blabbing off to Rick about something.

"What's wrong Rosebud?" I ask, kneeling down to her level and looking into her eyes.

"Are you and Daddy fighting?" She asks, I turn and see Rick looking at me. I take her hand and lead her over to the couch. She climbs into my lap and relaxes against me.

"Alexis your Dad and I were fighting, yes, but it's all okay now. Alright?" I say, she sighs and nods. I know she's holding something back and I want her to be able to tell me anything. "What's on your mind?"

"You're not going to disappear like my Mom the next time you fight are you?" She says hurriedly. I sit there in shock.

"Why would you think that?" I ask her, helping her twist so I can see her face.

"Cause you haven't been around as much lately. It's cause you and Daddy have been fighting right?" She asks.

"Alexis honey if you wanted to see Ella and I all you had to do was say the word." I tell her.

"What word?" She asks quietly.

"How about Roses?" I ask her, her face lights up. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Thank you Kate." She whispers happily.

"Guys, dinner." Alexis jumps off the couch and ran to the table. I follow behind her.

"What did you say to her to make her so happy?"

"Whenever she says Roses, she's asking for Ella and I." Is all I say.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here's the next chapter, once again thank you for all of your alerts and reviews and favourites! It means a lot. In case you see me spell favourite with an o and a u it's because I'm Canadian. I****just wanted to get that out there. That's how we spell it up north eh. And that was my attempt at being cool so before I make an even bigger fool of myself, chapter 8. I think you'll like this one.**

**Disclaimer: No I don't own Castle I just own my wildly overactive imagination.**

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In the first grade they asked us a word we hated, I should have said boundaries. They asked us again in the eighth grade, I should've have said long-lasting. I throw my head down into my hands. We were keeping space between us whenever we saw each other, which was still frequently for the girls more than for us. It'd been almost a month since that last fight and after we made nice things started to get a bit better. But sometimes I just want to grab his hand or complain to him about stupid things. That'd stopped around the same time we became 'friends' again. I groan and get up, 5:30 in the morning and he had me pacing the apartment. God he was driving me crazy, Lanie had taken Ella for two nights while I was working and then, tonight going to that stupid party.

I slowly walk over to the coffee machine and fill up the travel mug and make my way out of the eerily quiet apartment. I lock the door and make my way out. "Where's your little girl?" A man asks; he's walking out of the apartment across the hall from me.

"She's with her Aunt." I tell him, smiling slightly. Man I missed that little girl.

"That's good; always nice to get the kids out of the house for a while." He laughs.

"Yeah," I nod.

"She's what three?" I look up at this guy, he didn't look all too familiar but he knew a lot about my daughter.

"No actually she's two." I lie, smiling.

"Oh." He nods and then looks at his watch. "I'd better get going then." I eye him as he leaves, cop senses kicking into full drive along with that overprotective Mom mode. I take for the stairs because that guy was taking the elevator.

"Hey can you run a background check on this guy that lives in my building?" I ask running breathlessly into the precinct.

"Why?" Ryan asks.

"Just do it!" I say.

"Uh, what's his name?"

"Not sure." I answer.

"Apartment number?" Ryan asks.

"Oh shit!" I curse! "Bring up every guy that lives in my building around the age of 30, 32. Thanks Ry." I rush back to my desk and sit down; remembering that I have to file for a warrant for our current case. I see Esposito sit on the edge of my desk.

"Now, you know I hate to pry, but why are we doing this?" He asks me, my fingers pause on the keys.

"The guy was asking me about Ella, was kind of excited that she was three, obviously turning four sometime next year. When I told him she was two he couldn't get away fast enough. I thought it was weird." I go back to typing.

"You call Lanie?" He enquires.

"Yeah, she's got Ella under lock and key."

"How long ago did you call her?"

"While I was running up the stairs," I answer. He stifles a laugh.

"Your mug should say 'Most Overprotective Mom'. Cause you'd win that award hands down." He stands up and walks over to his desk. "When can Ry and I go pick up that knucklehead?"

"He's a suspect and as soon as I finish this warrant and get it signed. You can pick him up. Cause we all know you got a thing for the suspects Espo." I hear Ryan laugh and I grin, leaning back in my chair.

"Hardy, har, har."

"Well I thought it was funny." Ryan comments.

"And that is why you Ryan, are my favourite." I say sending off the warrant to be signed. I lean back in my chair.

"Least I wasn't on page 6 of The New York Times with a world famous author and I didn't bother to tell my colleagues about it." Espo remarks, Ryan spins around.

"Let's not go there." I say quietly.

"Sorry."

"Alright, back to work boys."

"Beckett, I've got them all pulled up." I walk over to Ryan's desk.

"That was quick." I say.

"Only two between 30 and 32," He answers. I look at his screen.

"The one on the left," I point and he runs a background check.

"Alright Michael Miller, married, three kids. No sorry two kids, his third daughter Elizabeth passed away when she was two. It was earlier this year." He says to me. I sigh and close my eyes.

"She had brown hair?" He nods. "That's why." Ryan looks awfully confused so I explain what happened.

"His wife left him shortly after Elizabeth died; he's raising his other two on his own." Ryan informs me. I nod.

"Thanks Ryan." I walk back to my desk, wow. The things you didn't know about your neighbours. I hadn't ever seen the two around but the guy had been through hell and I'd made it a little bit worse this morning. He didn't need to be reminded of that and I just had to open my big mouth. Well this day could only get better, right?

Hours later and I was still doing paperwork after we'd gotten our suspect in and he sang like a bird. All the evidence pointed to him. I still felt awful about this morning, but I still had Rick's Christmas party to go to…I was wrong earlier. Things could only get worse. I get up from my chair, it was seven and the party started at 8. If I went home and got ready now I'd be able to make it there by 8:30. I groan, why'd I even agree to go to this party? Oh right, the promise of Alexis. I walk to the elevator and it's the slowest elevator ride on earth. I groan and lean against the wall. Life sucks; I miss my sweet little Ella, my little ball of sunshine. I get off the elevator and make my way to the car, already planning my escape about an hour after my arrival.

I walk out the front door of the precinct and get into my car, putting it in drive. It doesn't take long to get to my place. About five minutes down the street my phone goes off, I have a text. I pull it out and read it.

_You still coming tonight? -Rick_

I think about my reply and text him back a quick yeah. I groan it was worse to be near him and have to far from him at the same time than it was to just not be around him. It was literally killing me. Hopefully there would be an open bar at this thing; I'd just take a cab there and back.

_Can't wait see you soon; - p -Rick _

I smile at the text; he either couldn't wait to see me or couldn't wait for the party.

"Don't get your hopes up Kate, boundaries, remember?" I think aloud. "For all you know he 'can't wait' because there'll be liquor. Or it could've been a sarcastic can't wait." I roll my eyes. "And now I'm talking to myself, great!"

Breathe just breathe; I think and I walk into the apartment building, tugging my jacket closer in the blistering December weather. The cabbie I'd used already needing another customer the same way I already needed a glass of wine. I walk past the doorman.

"Nice to see you again Kate," He says to me. I turn around.

"You too," I walk over to the elevator wondering how he knew my name. The ride up isn't as slow as the one at the precinct; I check my watch while others watch me. 8:30, just like I'd said. I'd gone home and changed into a red dress that stopped just above my knees and hugged you in all the right places and matching red pumps. Which I hadn't worn since before Ella was born. The elevator doors pop open and I walk slowly out of them. So do the rest of the people in the elevator. The huge herd follows me to Rick's door. I knock, everybody crowded behind me and said owner opens the door.

"Hey Kate, guys come on in." The crowd and I walk in and immediately I'm looking for the bar. I slide my coat off and just after it's taken from my arms.

"The island was transformed into the bar Kate. That is of course, only if you're taking a cab home." I hear him in my ear over the loud music.

"Thank you." I walk on over and grab a glass of wine from the bartender. I sit on a bar stool and just watch the crowd, everybody knows someone else and I'm just this weird loner alone at the bar; perfect ending to a perfect day. I see someone come down the stairs and a flash of red at the very top. The woman and long black hair and nails long enough and it looks like sharp enough to be considered a weapon. She's not that tall but her eight-inch platform heels made her seem that way. I waited till she was far enough away from the stairs and ascended them. Stopping outside the little girls shut bedroom door. There were three other doors and if it weren't for the sign that said Alexis on it I probably would've ended up walking into the bathroom. I raise my hand and knock on the door.

"Alexis honey it's me, can I come in?" I ask. A minute later I hear a muffled sure. I open the door and she's lying face down on her bed. I close the door and walk over sitting on the edge. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," She sniffles and I know she's crying. It breaks my heart a little more.

"Did that lady say something to you?" I ask; she nods. I'd kill that woman for this. "What happened?"

"I couldn't sleep; it was too loud so I sat on the top step. Watching everybody, cause everybody looked so pretty, she saw me and came upstairs. She told me that good little girls went to bed when they were told and that they always listened. I said that I was thirsty and wanted something to drink which was true! So I wanted to talk to my Dad, she said my Dad didn't want to see me. So I asked for you and she said that you didn't want to see me either, she said nobody ever wanted to see me and to just go to bed. So I did." She explains tearfully.

"Aw rosebud, I always wanna see you!" I exclaim and she crawls over sitting next to me.

"Really?" She asks; I nod.

"Really," I pull her into my lap and we rock back and forth.

"Does my Dad?"

"Yes Alexis, you never have to ask that. Your Dad would give the world for you, that woman didn't even ask him. She just lied to you, which is a bad, bad thing to do." I tell her and she smiles.

"Thanks Kate!"

"Anytime. Now will this glass of water help you sleep?" She nods enthusiastically. "Well then, I will be back and help you deal with that noise situation." I walk out the door and go down the stairs to the make-shift bar. I order water and within seconds have it, I hurry back up the stairs and the little fireball is waiting for me.

"Here you go Lexi; now about the noise I was thinking do you have a favourite singer, one that calms you down when you're mad or cheers you up when you're sad?"

"Yeah," she says. "It's this CD here." She holds it up, it's a mixed CD, and I smile at her.

"Got a stereo?" She nods and pints to it. I walk over and stick the CD in. I turn it on and turn it up a bit.

"Now I'm gonna got stand outside and tell you if I can hear it okay?" She nods and I walk out. All I can hear is the music emanating from downstairs. I open her door and walk back in. "Perfect. Now climb into bed missy, its bedtime." She smiles and complies. I tuck her in again and give her a hug.

"Night Kate."

"Night Rosebud, sweet dreams." I start to walk out of her bedroom.

"Kate?" She calls out and I'm standing in the doorway.

"Yes Alexis?"

"You look really, really pretty tonight." She says.

"Thank you Rosebud, you do too." She giggles at that.

"I'm in pink princess pyjamas."

"So? I still think you're the prettiest one here tonight." I say.

"Thank you." She replies.

"Goodnight Alexis, sleep tight."

"Don't let the bedbugs bite." She finishes sleepily. "Goodnight Kate." I quietly walk out of her door and back down the stairs I see said woman standing at the bottom. Dammit, I think to myself. I keep walking past her, but I can hear her walking behind me. I know she's going to corner me to I head into a corner where nobody is paying attention to us.

"I know what you're doing!" She exclaims.

"And what's that?" I ask.

"You're trying to get into Richard Castle's pants, steal his money then leave him and his kid broken hearted." She crosses her arms. "Props for winning the kids heart first though, he's a real sucker for a girl who loves kids." I'm taken aback by her words; I'm not sure whether to cry or slap her or do both.

"I am not trying to get into his pants! I care about both of them very much. Alexis is the sweetest little girl, I could never do that to her or him for that matter!" I hiss.

"Yeah whatever, your act may work with him but it doesn't work with me!" She spits back.

"It is not an act!" I say on the verge of tears. "Why would I bring my own daughter into this if it was an act?"

"Because you're a cold heartless bitch!" She raises her voice and I slap her, a tear spilling over. Just then someone shows up behind me.

"Paula I think it's time to go."

"What?"

"Go! To the bar, home, I don't care just get out of my sight." I spin around knowing that voice anywhere. "But you might want to go and get rid of that hand impression on your cheek."

"How much did you see?"

"All of it." He looks down at me and I avert my gaze. "I was coming over here to escape all of this and I kind of stumbled upon you and her talking. I watched from a distance and then I saw you slap her. What was that about?"

"You didn't hear?" I ask.

"No."

"She accused me of getting close to you and Alexis just so that I could sleep with you, steal your money and leave you two broken hearted."

"What an idiot! Who brings their own kid into that kind of operation? That is only something someone like her would do! My god!" He laughs and soon enough so am I.

"Thanks Rick." I say.

"No problem." He says; we stare into each other's eyes again, perfectly perfect with me. He puts a hand on my forearm and I smile at him.

"Wait boundaries." He says, removing his hand. My eyes shoot from his down to his lips and back. I bite my bottom lip.

"Screw the boundaries." I look up and see mistletoe. I look back at him and see him looking at it too.

"I mean tradition is tradition." He says. I bite my lip and nod again standing on my tippy toes and leans down and our lips meet. His are soft and intriguing. They make you want more, leave you breathless. He tastes like peppermint. After a moment we pull away, the kiss was soft and inviting. I take a breath and my legs feel like jello.

"So what does this make us?" He asks.

"Who cares?" I reply.

"C'mon Kate." He says, realistically.

"It leaves us at Friends who sometimes kiss each other, hold hands and are just comfortable around each other." I answer.

"I like that." He takes my hand and pulls me into the crowd again.

"Honestly that whole boundaries thing was truly stupid! Like over the top I'm an idiot stupid." I say.

"You said it, I'm just agreeing with it!" At this I laugh.

"What're we doing?" I ask after a moment.

"Dancing," He answers as we near the dance floor.

"No, this is not a good idea I cannot dance at all." He takes my hand and pulls me close.

"Relax, I'm easy to follow." We sway back and forth on the dance floor with a twirl every now and again. "Don't you think you may have hit her a bit too hard? I mean that hand impression is still on her cheek." He remarks.

"After what she said to Alexis I should've punched her." He tenses.

"What did she say?" He says through clenched teeth. I recount everything to him and prepare for his reaction. "One, I should fire her. Two, thank you for doing that for Alexis. Three, you're right."

"About?"

"Not hitting her hard enough." He laughs and so do I.

"Mama," Ella cheers running into the apartment, Lanie hot on her tail. I bend down and scoop her up.

"Hey baby girl. Did you have fun with Auntie Lanie?" I ask; she nods vibrantly.

"We drew pictures and coloured and watched lots and lots of movies." She explains.

"That sounds like a lot of fun. Why don't you go and put your things in your room and maybe if you ask her really, really nicely Auntie Lanie will watch one more movie with us." I say to her,

"We can't go to the park?" She pouts.

"Ella it's below freezing." I say.

"So?"

"Your fingers will fall off! You want to keep your fingers don't you?" Lanie asks.

"Yeah, I think I'd rather watch a movie. Auntie Lanie pwease stay!" Ella widens her eyes and juts out her bottom lip. God her puppy dog eyes were adorable, Lanie could not say no to those eyes.

"Fine, you got me. Now you put your stuff away like Mommy said and then come out and pick the movie out." Lanie explains, Ella nods and wriggles in my arms.

"Uh-un, I haven't seen you in two days, where is my hug and kiss?" She gives me a quick kiss and hug, and then I set her down.

"What do you need to tell me?" Lanie asks, crossing her arms.

"Let's just say that I should listen to you more often." I answer walking into the kitchen.

"Girl it is 11 o'clock in the morning! I may be a genius but I have just entertained a three year old girl for two days and 'let's just say' she has her mother's knack for waking up at the crack of dawn!" Lanie says, saying 'let's just say' in a mock voice.

"She sleeps in sometimes." I defend her.

"Yeah, Kate 9 o'clock is not considered sleeping in." She argues.

"It is in my world." I explain leaning against my counter.

"C'mon just tell me." Lanie whines and it is so hard not to laugh. Ella runs out and rams into my legs.

"Can I pick the movie now?" She asks.

"Sure Ella. You know you're lucky you've got a hard head. You don't even blink when you walk into walls." I say as she runs off.

"I know where she gets it from." Lanie mumbles and I glare at her. "C'mon tell me!"

"No!" I cross my arms and this time she glares. It's icy enough to make me shiver. Or has Ella opened a window?

"If you keep that bottled up you're gonna get an ulcer." I roll me eyes.

"I finally kissed Rick." I say in a hushed voice.

"You what!" She squeals.

"Shush. Ella has no clue." I say.

"And why not?" She places her hands on her hips and I glare at her.

"Cause we are not an item." I fire back.

"So what you're friends with benefits?" She quips back sarcastically.

"More or less." I reply, just to see her reaction. It ends up being a slap on the arm. "Ow, Lanie. I'm just kidding."

"You better be. I thought you had boundaries?" She asks me to explains, but Ella runs back over.

"Movie, movie!" She squeals, holding _The Lion King_ proudly above her head.

"What movie is it sweet pea?"

"Simba." She says excitedly. I honestly have no idea how many times I have watched this movie over the course of three weeks. If I had to here 'Hakuna Matata' more time I was going to scream…you know after I finish singing along.

"Okay, I'll go put it in." She hands the movie to me and pulls Lanie over to the couch. I pop the movie in and sit on Ella's other side. It starts to play and Ella climbs into my lap relaxing against me. Within fifteen minutes she starts to get heavy with sleep and her breathing evens out.

"Lanie?" Lanie looks and nods. I shift and mange to get her into my arms. I take her to her room and lay her down on her bed; moving the back pack that she's thrown onto it. I walk back out into the living room and see Lanie putting away the movie and then she goes to the kitchen.

"Go. Sit." She commands so I put my hands up in defeat moving over to the couch and sitting down. She walks back over with two cups of coffee. "Since we can't have wine." She explains; I nod. I pull the blanket back over me and she grabs the other end so we can share. I take a sip of the coffee.

"Ouch, hot, hot. Good, but hot." I say, not realising the drink was seething. I set it on the coffee table and Lanie laughs at me.

"That might be because I just made it." She explains. We're quiet for a moment each waiting for the other to speak. "I can't handle the silence anymore. You, writer boy, big smoochies, spill." I take a deep breath explaining the entire story, from him taking my coat and pointing me in the direction of the bar to us twirling around on the dance floor.

"So how was it?" She asks, eagerly.

"What?" I ask.

"The kiss, the smooch, the lip-lock!" She exclaims.

"It was nice." I answer dreamily.

"Nice? C'mon Kate kittens are nice, puppies are nice. Give me something more!"

"It was slow, it wasn't like 'I must have you now' kind of passion it was more like a 'Be mine' kind of thing, you know? His lips were really soft and inviting, it made you want more and he was just so-and it was just so." I can't think of the words to explain it.

"Perfect, breath-taking, in the moment, beautiful, wonderful?" She asks, waiting for my word.

"Yeah," I answer.

"To which one!" She says a little too aggravated.

"All of them. It was everything you can imagine and more. Everything you want a first kiss to be." I answer.

"Girl you got it bad! You sound like a love-struck teenager!" Lanie mocks.

"I do not!" I exclaim coming out of my dreamy state.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah,"

"Fine, what'd he taste like?"

"Peppermint," There goes that darn dreamy voice again.

"And what's your favourite flavour again?"

"Pepper—," I stop half-way through. I look over at her smug expression and hit her with a pillow that was sitting on the back of the couch.

"Not love struck my ass." She laughs and so do I.

"I'm not." I smile sheepishly.

"Yeah okay," Lanie mocks.

"Just shut up! You're gonna wake up Ella." I warn.

"No, that'd be the love struck teenager!" She teases. I get up taking my half-empty cold coffee mug with me. We'd been sitting there talking for almost two hours.

"Shut up!"

"I get it, you're in denial! Little miss independent falling in love. It's cool, I totally understand."

"Really Lanie?" I ask incredulously.

"Oh I'm so not going to leave you alone about this." She laughs, I groan. "He tastes like peppermint." She mocks.

"Okay one; that sounds nothing like me. Two; he does. And three; maybe I'll just stop telling you things then." I reply.

"Fine," she glares at me, "I'll stop."

"Sure you will." I roll my eyes.

"You'll thank me one day Katherine Beckett. I was seriously gonna smack you upside your head when you told me you created you little boundaries thing." Lanie answers.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"You will. Anyways, I have to be at work in like an hour so I have to go home and change and such. See you soon?"

"Of course; bye Lanie." I say as she walks to the door.

"Bye Kate and don't act so, love-struck at work kay? The boys will notice that." I laugh as she walks out the door.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think, too fast, too slow? Let me know.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry! I know I was supposed to have this up like what? Two weeks ago. Soccer kind of screwed me over and broke my toe :$ On the same day my sister came into town for a visit. Sucky timing, eh? Anyways I hope I didn't disappoint.**

**Disclaimer: I only own Ella.**

* * *

"I like this new found friendship. We're back to our old ways and our teasing, laughing and confiding in each other. The way we did before, but now it is so much more. More meaningful I guess," I trail off of my ramble and Lanie glares at me.

"I swear to god if all you're going to talk about is writer boy I will never go Christmas shopping with you again! It is literally killing me!" She complains, which earns an eye roll from me.

"You realize I only do this around you because you called me," I look around and lower my voice to a whisper. "Love struck."

Lanie barks out a laugh. "And why would that be such a bad thing?"

"I dunno, it just. It is okay? In my world at least." I give her a small smile and continue moving about the large department store. "The only bad thing about having a kid is shopping for them! I'm still trying to find the perfect gift for Alexis too. Its—why couldn't Christmas just be another excuse to get drunk?"

"In my family it is!" Lanie says and I start to laugh.

"Only you," We continue to walk around the store. I bite my bottom lip and start to wonder how on earth I'm going to have a gift ready for next week! I sigh.

"Well what does she like?"Lanie asks and I assume she means Alexis.

"She likes purple, and soccer. She likes to read, she likes ice cream. I don't know Lanie, how am I supposed to—oh, that's a good idea." I start grinning knowing exactly what to get Alexis for Christmas.

"Mama, whose birthday is it?" Ella asks innocently.

"What do you mean?" I look down at her; she bites her lip as if she's said something wrong.

"We brought presents." She admits totally confused. She was three after all.

"They're Christmas presents Ella." I tell her and she shakes her head.

"Christmas isn't for another week." She says.

"Sometimes people do Christmas early." I tell her stepping off of the elevator onto Rick's floor.

"Why?" Ella asks me. I still hated that word.

"Because they can't be with each other on Christmas." I say, she nods her head and rocks on her heels stopping in the middle of the hallway. I look down at her. I walk towards her and kneel in front of her. "What's wrong?"

"Are we gonna see Daddy on Christmas? Like we did last year?" She asks biting her lip again.

"I don't think so Ella." I answer honestly, her eyes dull a bit and she nods.

"Can we call him?" I exhale.

"If that's what you want, sure." I answer. She smiles, but her light is still gone. "How about we go and see Rick and Alexis now?"

"Okay." She takes off down the hall and I'm rushing to pick up the gifts I'd set down next to me and chase after her. Just like that her light is back.

"Ella wait!" I yell running down the hall.

"Hey there little monster!" Rick says opening the door as Ella stops in front of it.

"Hi!" She squeals, he bends down to pick her up and I stop running. "You coming, Kate?" He disappears back into the loft and by the time I'm finally at his door Ella's disappeared and so has Alexis. I walk in and set the gifts down by the door.

"Let me grab those for you." He says walking over to me. He gives me a quick, unexpected kiss and then takes the gifts walking them over to the living room.

"Kids upstairs."

"Yeah, I told them we'd do presents after dinner." He admits walking into the kitchen.

"Thanks by the way!" I say walking to the couch and settling down in the corner.

"For what?" He asks, tending to his food. It's some kind of pasta and it smells heavenly.

"Sending a Christmas list. Honestly do you know how hard it is to shop for two people when you have no idea what they want?"

"Yes, you didn't send me a Christmas list either Katie." He jokes and I mock glare at him.

"Don't call me Katie." I say. "Besides, you didn't ask."

"Neither did you!" He exclaims.

"If you'd have sent me one I would've sent you one back!" I argue.

"The point is we survived Christmas time right?" He points out and I nod. I snuggle closer into the corner of the sofa.

"Yes! At least there's that, some of those Mom's are vicious. I was getting Ella this toy and it was the last one and a girl almost fought me for it. That is until she saw my badge." I say menacingly.

"Nice abuse of power, what'd you do? Threaten to press charges for toy thievery?"

"Close, disturbing the peace." I wink at him. We sit in a comfortable silence for a while. Well I sit he cooks.

"You could help me you know." He states and I grin.

"Too tired, I'll do the dishes." I yawn and my smile spreads farther across my face.

"Deal!" He agrees and I laugh.

"Finally! Are you actually agreeing to let me do the dishes all by myself tonight?" I ask.

"Yes, yes I am." He nods.

"Shh, hear that?"

"What?" He enquires, looking around the room.

"That is the sound of sweet victory baby!" I exclaim.

"Oh its baby now is it? I like it!" He says and I roll my eyes.

"In your dreams." I say. He mutters something and all I catch is yeah and dreams. I open my mouth to ask but then close it deciding it would be best not to.

"I'm almost done the food. So what did you get Alexis?" He asks, whispering. I get up and lean next to him on the countertop.

"Well I had to get creative so I got this place to make a custom-made soccer jersey—cause you said she loved the sport—in purple and on the back it has her name on it and on the front it says The Purple Squad and has the C for Captain."

"I'm officially jealous." He remarks and I laugh.

"What'd you get Ella?"

"Well she keeps asking for a pet so I got a mechanical parrot that looks real, feels real and talks like its real. Like you can teach it to say stuff, it's awesome. Anyways you have to feed it or it dies, so make sure she does that."

"It is fake right?" He nods.

"Yeah of course, it only fakes dying."

"Kay." I look at the food. "Oh and by the way?"

"Yeah?"

"A gift like that, that talks! I'm gonna kill you." I threaten and look at the food. "Okay can I please try some of that?" He sighs and takes a little bit out.

"You can have a taste." He holds up the fork and I open my mouth. The second I taste the food I'm in love. It's delicious.

"Oh, my god. Where did you learn to cook like this and can you give me the recipe?"

"Uh, my mom wasn't around too much so I was left to my own devices. This is actually something I came up with when I was fourteen. It was so good I made it for my Mom when she got home and she loved it too. Thought it was delicious, I've been making it ever since. And no, absolutely not. I never give out my recipe."

"But Rick," I whine. "What am I gonna tell Ella?"

"What do you mean?"

"She's gonna want it after she has it." He moves closer to me.

"Guess you're just gonna have to come over more." I move slightly closer to him.

"Guess so." I tease, leaning in. He leans down towards me, just as his lips are about to touch mine I pull away and run to the other side of the island. Giggling as I go.

"Katherine Beckett, tsk tsk tsk. Never tempt a man." He scolds moving slowly from behind the island.

"Not tempting, teasing." I say innocently.

"Teasing isn't nice Katherine. In fact it's very hurtful." He's following me around the counter both of us moving slowly, watching the other.

"Suck it up." I smile.

"Fine," he pouts, "but I won't be happy about it."

"Aww." I stop in front of the food. "Mm that looks good."

"Kate don't even think about it." He glares.

"Mmm, too late." I grab the fork and he chases after me.

"Kate!" He scolds and I run pasta on my fork. "You're gonna get it."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm." He nods and I eat the food on the fork.

"Oh my god it's heavenly." Before I know it he's got an advance on me and I'm running. "No! No, no Castle don't!"

"C'mon Beckett, you must pay for what you've done!" He says sinisterly.

"Oh! I must pay?" I ask tauntingly.

"Yes." He chases after me and I run.

"No! No! No!" I squeal. He tackles me and starts to tickle me.

"No Rick! No please stop it! Please, please, please!"! I scream.

"Say apples."

"Apples! Apples! Just stop it!" I giggle. He stops and I'm breathless.

"Thank you." He says getting up off of me. I sigh, clearly frustrated.

"I'll never do it again that's for sure!" I remark, arms crossed.

"Good." He gloats going back to the food. "It's done." I get up, pouting. "Aww poor dear Katherine." I nod. "C'mon I'll give you the biggest serving." I laugh.

"Not that I need to be treated like a child's or the extra food I eat plenty." I lean against the island prepared to help set the table.

"When was the last time you ate?" He asks me.

"Uh, breakfast?" I say, not entirely sure.

"No you texted me at like 6 this morning saying you'd been up since four at a crime scene and you were bored." He smiles at me.

"Okay, dinner last night then." I answer, sure of it this time.

"That is why you are getting a large serving. You need to eat more. Tell me, how much sleep did you get last night?" He asks passing me two bowls while he takes the other two. We set them at the tour and a glare at him.

"Nine hours." I say honestly. "Ella and I feel asleep at around 8-ish." He gives me a look. "I was tired."

"That would be eight hours then, not nine." I realize he's right and he laughs. I go and grab the silverware, coming over this often I'd figured out where to get everything and where to put it when we were done with it.

"You know what! Math isn't my strong point." I glare at him.

"Clearly." He jokes and I stifle a laugh.

"Whatever." I stalk off towards the stairs while he sets the glasses out. I walk up them and knock on the door to Alexis's bedroom.

"Who is it?" A small voice calls out.

"It's me." I answer.

"Mama!" I hear Ella squeal.

"Come in." Alexis replies, I walk through the door and Ella latches onto my leg. "Hi." Alexis waves.

"Time for dinner." I reach down and pull Ella from my leg. Alexis runs toward us from the spot on the floor where the two were playing.

"Okay," Alexis darts past me excited. I follow her down the stairs as quickly as I can with Ella on my hip.

"Whoa Lex, slow down. I don't think I've ever seen a kid so excited to eat!" I laugh and sit Ella down on her chair. I take my seat next to her and across from Alexis, smiling at the young girl.

"Daddy made the good food." She exclaims all smiles.

"Yes he did." I answer.

"He let you taste it!" She asks, slack-jawed and awe-struck.

"Yes he did." I answer as said guy sits next to his daughter.

"He never lets me do that!" She gasps.

"Rick! Let your daughter taste the food every once in a while!" I scold him, glaring jokingly.

"You stole the second bite!" He defends.

"Borrowed." I correct taking a bite of the food.

"You two are funny." Alexis giggles, we share a look and a discreet smile.

"Alright presents, desert and then bed." Rick says leaning back into the couch, arm around Alexis and Ella half asleep in his lap.

"I don't think I can eat desert I am so full and uh little miss over there," I point to Ella walking back over to the couch after I finish the dishes. "Yeah she is not having anything with sugar in it she'll be bouncing off the walls till midnight and I am exhausted." I flop down onto the couch next to him and Alexis smiles.

"Presents!" She exclaims excitedly. Rick stands up and walks to the place the presents are sitting. Conveniently underneath a tree which reminds me I have to set ours up. I toss my head back, Ella helped for all of five minutes before she found something else. "Thanks for the reminder Rick! I have to set up ours soon."

"I help?" Ella crawls over into my lap and leans against me.

"Yeah hon, sure. You can help." I say. Rick walks over and sets each present in front of the kids. We watch as they open their gifts. Ella's confused at first then she smiles brightly.

"Mama I got a pet parrot!" She squeals, she gets up and takes off towards Rick. "Thank you!" She says excitedly.

"You're welcome." He says and then Alexis squeals.

"It's perfect!" She says bouncing up and down. "I love it! When soccer season starts everyone is gonna be so jealous!" She puts in on over her long sleeved short and runs over, jumping onto my lap.

"Thank you Kate it's perfect!" She squeals.

"You're welcome Rosebud." I say, hugging her back, she pulls back slightly.

"How did you know I liked soccer?" She asks.

"Your Dad told me once and I knew purple was your favourite colour because you told me." I grin down at her.

"Mama, can I open?" Ella asks, tugging on my pants.

"Uh," I look at it, seeing if there were any small pieces that could go missing. Seeing just the food and water I smiled at her. "Only the bird, nothing else. If it's okay with Rick." They both turn to look at him.

"Sure thing. C'mon I'll help you open it." They race to the kitchen and he takes out the bird. Ella holds it while they climb up the stairs so they can play with it in Alexis's room.

"Well they certainly know how to clear a room." I laugh.

"Yeah, they do." He nods.

"God that bird's gonna drive me crazy won't it?" He laughs.

"You're welcome. Just remember to turn it off when you go to sleep, when you leave for work and when he 'needs a nap'." I grin at him. "And he'll probably need about three naps a day."

"Thank you." I laugh.

"Like I said, you're welcome." He sits back and watches me for a while. After a moment he walks over and sits next to me. I lean on his should and he mindlessly toys with my hair.

"Shall we open our presents?" I ask. He jumps up and runs to go get them, leaving me to almost face plant into the couch.

"I almost forgot!" He squeaks, I laugh as he runs back over.

"You know I almost fell, if I hadn't caught myself I would've face planted!" I laugh, trying to be authoritative while laughing.

"I'm sorry. Maybe this will make it better." He leans in and presses a very soft kiss against my lips. His are warm and inviting again, making you want the kiss to lead to more. I don't hesitate to kiss him back and soon lock my arms around his neck. I skim my tongue along his bottom lip and feel him smile. He pulls back and grins at me.

"The kids could come down the stairs at any moment." He says as means of an apology. I think about what happened and flush slightly.

"I know I'm sorry. I was a bit out of line there." I advert my gaze and then feel his finger under my chin. He turns my head back to face him and plants another soft kiss on my lips.

"It doesn't mean I didn't want to." He whispers against them and I smile. He pulls back completely and squeezes my knee. How could he make me feel like such a teenager when nobody else could? Who cares, I suddenly think grabbing his hand.

"Now presents." He grins.

"You are honestly a nine-year old on a sugar rush you know that." I say, he shrugs and nods.

"I've been told that, by you." He answers.

"Well at least you know." He passes me a gift bag and I sit back and wait for him to start.

"You first." He motions.

"No, you." I say.

"Same time?" He asks.

"Okay, one."

"Two,"

"Three." We say in unison as we start to open our gifts. On the outside the wrapping paper is adorable, with little Santas and rudolf. I pull it apart and see a picture team underneath. I pull it out gently and look at it; tracing my fingers over the smooth border. I see that the top says Kate and the bottom has Ella engraved. On the left side KB is engraved and on the right EB. I grin. I look to the centre and see a picture of Ella and I. She's sitting on my lap and we're staring at each other completely oblivious to anything, including the camera and are laughing; it's hard to contain my smile spreading from ear to ear.

"This is awesome!" Rick exclaims I turn and look at him. He's holding up a hat that has Writer Boy stitched into it. "Where did you find this?"

"Lids, they let you make a custom designed hat. Lanie actually gave me the idea. But this?" I hold up the frame. "Is absolutely perfect; it's beautiful Rick, thank you."

"You like it?"

"I love it." I wrap my arms around him, leaving the picture frame in my lap for a moment.

"I'm glad you like it." He whispers.

"I'm glad you like your hat." We pull away and he puts it on backwards.

"How do I look? Young? Hip? Oh! Do I look like a hipster?" He asks, I fall back on the couch laughing.

"Rick, you are certainly not a hipster." I say, gasping for air.

"Aww man." He snaps his fingers. I set the picture frame on the coffee table and move closer to him.

"Well at least you're attractive and funny and all around just amazing." I say cupping his face with my hand.

"And that is why I find you so perfect." He wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer. Practically on top of him, he kisses me softly and I hum. I pull back a bit and smile at him.

"What time is it?" I whisper against his lips.

"I don't know, almost ten maybe." He answers.

"Those kids are too quiet to be playing with a bird." I say.

"Think they're asleep?" He asks, still holding me close.

"Want me to go check?" I ask.

"Sure." He still holds onto me and I grin.

"Rick, I really love this, but I have to get up." I say, he sighs and lets me go. I make my way to the stairs and up them. I walk to her door and open it. I peer in and see them both cuddled together on Alexis's bed. It's absolutely adorable. I walk back to the top of the stairs.

"Rick." I call to him.

"What?" He calls up.

"You've got to see this!" I say, he runs up the stairs and I put a finger to my lips. "Shh. It's adorable." He follows me to the door of his daughter's room and peers in.

"That is so cute!"

"I know." I whisper. He reaches into his pocket and fishes something out.

"I have to take a picture of this." He snaps a quick one and I turn and grin at him.

"I guess this means I should probably go." I admit.

"Yeah probably. I'll help you carry everything down to the car." He says as he watches me mentally try to figure out how to carry it while not waking Ella or making multiple trips. "Here you take Ella and I'll carry the gifts and some leftover pasta since you loved it so much." He grins at me, touches my arm and then sets off for the stairs. My heart flutters and I turn back to Alexis's room. I walk in and carefully remove Ella from her bed.

"C'mere sleepy girl." I whisper. I walk with her down stairs and into the hall.

"Ready?" Rick asks.

"Yeah." I answer. He closes the door and locks it.

"Alexis'll be okay for a few minutes." He reasons and I smile.

"We can hurry." We walk as quickly as possible to the elevator and go down the lobby.

"Bye Mr. Castle, Miss Beckett." Rick smiles at the doorman as me leave and it doesn't take long for us to reach my car. I place Ella in her car seat while Rick puts the gifts in the back on the floor with the food. I walk around to his side and smile.

"Thank you, for everything." I say.

"No problem." He answers, searching my eyes. He leans down and captures my lips in a heated yet gentle kiss. I put my hands on his shoulders and he puts his on my waist. He skims his tongue against my bottom lip and inlet him in. We stay there like that, exploring each other until we both need air. We pull back, gasping and I grin.

"Well I should get her home and you should get back to Alexis." I say, still reaching for air.

"Alright," He concedes. "I'll see you soon Kate." He brushes hair from my face and smiles.

"I'll see you soon." He walks back to his building and I get in my car. I want to scream and the smile on my face isn't going to disappear for days. My heart was beating irregularly and my breathing was erratic. God, what was he doing to me? I grab my phone and send a quick text to Lanie.

_So maybe I'm a little bit love-struck._

I pull away and bite my bottom lip, and the only thing I taste is peppermint.

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**A/N: So what did you think?**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys so I actually got this one up when I wanted it so here you go. **

**Disclaimer: Only in my dreams!**

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"A New Year's party? C'mon Kate do I have to go? I'd rather not go and see you all over your boy." Lanie complains, still in sweats. I was in her living room, hands on hips staring down at her.

"I told him you were coming. And we're not really going to see him because he's the host. So I need someone to come with me!" I whine.

"Fine! But uh, I'm not gonna look as good as you." She smiles. "Girl you will be driving writer boy crazy." She gets up and stalks off to her room.

"Thanks Lanie!" I smooth down my little black dress and adjusted my hair. Dark blue pumps making my legs even more luxurious. I smile, that was sort of the plan; to drive him crazy.

"C'mon Lanie we're almost there. It's that building there." I point as we keep walking, the nearest spot being two blocks away.

"Better be." She mumbles.

"It is, swear." We keep walking and finally we get to the door.

"Hello Miss Beckett." The doorman says.

"Hi." I reply, I gotta get his name from Rick. We rush to the elevator full of people and anxiously wait for the elevator to stop on our floor. When it finally does we pile out and Lanie and I are being rushed by pushy people who are dying to get in the door. The door opens and we're almost toppled over by people trying to get to the bar. We leave our coats in the closet.

"Aren't hosts supposed to be I don't know hostly?" Lanie complains and it's the first time she's talked since downstairs.

"Do you want all access to an open bar on a Saturday night when you would've been sitting on your couch watching Bridget Jones Diary for a third time today?" I sneer and she laughs.

"Not my fault we can't all be love-struck." I whack her in the gut.

"Not around people!" I hiss and she laughs. We walk to the bar and she orders two cranberry vodkas. "Lanie I can't drink I'm driving."

"Uh, these are for me." She downs one quickly and then stops and looks at me. "Aren't I your go to baby sitter?"

"Yeah." I nod, asking for some water.

"Then where's Ella?"

"Ryan and Esposito." I answer and we start laughing.

"I'd love to see that!"

"She'll probably be up when I get home, most likely with a sugar rush!" I sigh. "One reason why I'm not drinking."

"And the other is because you have to drive." She states.

"That and to make sure your drunken ass gets home, alone." I state her down and she finally sighs.

"Fine but I am definitely kissing some fine honey tonight." I look around and see the stairs.

"I'm gonna go check on Alexis, I haven't seen her in a while." I say and Lanie nods.

"I wanna meet her, just not when I've been drinking. Soon though!" Lanie says and as I start walking the small red-head plows into my legs in her pajamas.

"Alexis? Shouldn't you be in bed?" I ask.

"Daddy thinks so, do you think so?" She asks, not sure.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah, a lot tired." She says.

"Well then why don't I take you up to bed hmm?" I ask, she thinks about it and yawns.

"Okay, but only if you introduce me to your friend." Alexis points to Lanie and I nod. Okay kiddo, if you insist. We walk over to Lanie and Alexis starts to hide behind me.

"Hi there." Lanie waves and Alexis waves back. "You must be Alexis." She nods. "Well I'm Lanie. I'm Kate's best friend."

"Like Paige is my best friend?" Alexis asks, looking up at me.

"In that very same way." I answer; Lanie reaches her hand out for Alexis to shake.

"It's very nice to meet you, I've heard wonderful things." Lanie says; Alexis shakes her hand and smiles.

"It's nice to meet you too, I'd like to stay and talk but I promised Kate once she introduced me to you I'd go to bed." Lanie laughs and nods.

"I get that." She says.

"Kate?" Alexis asks.

"Yes?"

"Can I say goodnight to Daddy too?" She looks up at me with a hopeful look.

"Tell you what," I kneel down to her level. "Why don't you go upstairs and get all ready and I'll go and get him and he'll say goodnight, m'kay?" She seems to comprehend that and then nods her approval. "Alright, you head up and I'll find him."

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll come say goodnight too right? Like last time?" She asks.

"Of course." I nod and set off to find Rick. After about five minutes I'm outside the office door, it's the only place I haven't checked, unless he's passed out on the bathroom floor. I knock on the closed door and hear yelling on the other side. I wait a moment and knock louder. The yelling continues, I knock again and this time he yanks open the door.

"What do you want?" He says angrily.

"Alexis was up and about so I got her to bed and she wants you to say goodnight." I answer timidly.

"That's what you interrupted me for!" He sneers.

"Well who is more important than your daughter right now? Why can't you just stop arguing with whoever this is for two minutes to say goodnight!" I hiss.

"For Christ's sake Rick just tells them to leave!" A red-headed woman stood directly behind him, a bit too close.

"Not now Kate, I need a minute." He says; I glare at him.

"Then all you have is a minute." I storm off and up the stairs, clearly pissed. Who was that woman? Why was she so close to him? I thought being sorta together meant we weren't seeing other people. Guess I was wrong, but maybe I was just jumping to conclusions. I slowly open Alexis's door and sit on her bed.

"Your Dad will be up in a minute." I say, still a bit angry, but hiding it from her.

"Are he and Mommy fighting again?" She asks, extremely annoyed with the very thought. Wait, Mommy?

"That was your Mom?" She nods.

"She got in right in the middle of the party woke me up and told me to come downstairs. I went to look for you though. Daddy saw me asked Mommy what happened and then they went into his study for a long time so I went to find you again." She admits.

"Well I'm glad you did, now. Goodnight Alexis." I say and she lies back I tuck her blankets up around her and brush some hair out of her face. "I'll see you Monday."

"Okay." She says through a yawn. I walk to the door and see Rick. I storm past him, my anger returning but not as brightly. I find Lanie and she starts to look angry.

"What the hell happened?"

"His ex-wife is here." I say angrily.

"Oh hell no." She pauses and looks just past me. "Boy Imma smack you." With that Lanie walks off, I turn to him.

"So, Lanie's gonna smack me? Why?" He asks.

"Because your ex-wife is here." I mumble.

"Kate are you jealous?" He asks softly.

"How could I not be? She's gorgeous!" I say, arms crossed.

"Kate, do you want me to tell you everything?" He asks I nod. "C'mon." He takes my hand and drags me over the quiet corner where we shared our first kiss. "Yes usually when Meredith comes down we have a little fun. She hits on me, I hit in her so we, you know." He says and my heart sinks. My eyes swell with tears and I gulp them down.

"So did you, you know?" I ask, keeping my gaze on my feet.

"No! No! Ew Kate! Of course not! I mean look at you, why would I want to ruin what we have?" He asks and I lock my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug.

"You are the best." I whisper to him.

"Yeah I know." He says to me. I pull back and take his hand.

"C'mon, I gotta go find Lanie. And you need to go and host, not too late to make it a great night." He smiles and the second we hit the dance floor someone runs up to us. Then it's two someone's, then it's three and they're all speaking to Rick. I let go of his hand and set out for Lanie.

"You've left me alone for thirty minutes in total Kate!" Lanie glares at me.

"I know, horrible friend. Why don't I go grab you another drink and you will be released off all Ella duties for two weeks and you can just do all the fun things, like movie nights. No babysitting, promise." I say and she nods and accepts, the only exception being that she get Ella at least twice a week. I grabbed her something weak, she didn't need much more till she was flat out drunk. Which was why she needed adult supervision, but I needed moral support. So what's worse being you best friend's Mom or needing them to be around so you can feel better at your kiss buddy's house? Or was it more of a make-out buddy after what happened at the last dinner? Anyways not the point. I wander back over to Lanie and see her backs turned to me; she's talking to a woman. Not just any woman, oh no, it was Castle's ex-wife.

I mean of course this would happen to me of all people, my best friend and my—well I'm not exactly sure what he is—his ex-wife! Great moral support she was. I downed her drink and walked over to them. "Hey Lane, we should be heading home soon." I say, completely ignoring the other woman.

"Not until I get my midnight kiss." She declares and I groan.

"Aren't you Kate?" That thing, Meredith asks. I'm not even sure she's human; I mean who could do such horrible things to such an amazing little girl?

"That would be me." I answer turning to her, eyes narrowed.

"Alexis tells me such great thing about you and Ella. She can only speak highly of you, so where is the little tyke, you did bring her right?" She asks me.

"Uh, no. She's three and needs sleep, she's with a baby-sitter." I answer.

"Why wouldn't you just let her sleep here? I mean I guess it could be better blaming someone else for screwing up your kid, but I couldn't do that." Meredith says like she's all high and mighty.

"They're not nannies, they're baby-sitting. You know, watching her for a night while I go out." I say, looking at her as if she's lost her mind.

"Your husband doesn't do that?"

"My ex-husband's not allowed near Ella. I have sole custody and it's best for him to not be around her." I stare her down and realize that I do not like this conversation too much.

"Is he a criminal?" I shake my head.

"An FBI agent, we got a divorce about a year ago." I answer and turn to Lanie. "Almost midnight we should go find people to kiss."

"Oh, right where's Rick? He keeps saying that he's got someone else in his life that he's crazy for, she literally drives him insane in her own personal way, but I'll break him." Meredith comments, I look at her over my shoulder.

"Crazy about, huh?" I mutter and walk over to where I left him. He's still surrounded by people, but they've thinned out and I simply reach in and grab his hand. He wraps an arm around me, much more PDA than usual but I find I don't mind too much.

"Balls gonna drop in TEN!" Someone yells and then we're left on our own.

"So a little birdie told me you're crazy about me." I say as nonchalantly as possible.  
"Meredith." He says through clenched teeth.  
"NINE."  
"Are you?"  
"How could I not be?" He asks, pulling me closer.  
"EIGHT."  
"Well, Lanie keeps telling me I'm a love-struck teenager." I whisper.  
"Are you?"  
"SEVEN."  
"Totally and completely." I reply, melting into his side.  
"Good."  
"SIX."  
"What's your New Year's resolution?" He whispers in my ear. I turn into his arms and face him. C'mon Kate, twenty seconds of insane bravery is all you need.  
"To make you officially mine, so that every woman in New York knows to keep their grubby little paws off of my writer boy."

"FIVE."

"Funny, that's mine too."

"FOUR."

"Well, then I guess we should help each other fulfill our resolutions." I whisper to him, he takes a moment to answer.

"THREE."

"We, uh, really should." He stammers and I giggle.

"TWO!"

"So what are you saying?" I ask.

"That we should be online official." He laughs lightly. "Be mine Katherine?" He asks, light-hearted and perfect.

"ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The crowd cheers and I kiss him, intensely too.

"Always, writer boy."

"I think you mean writer man."

"We'll see." With that I kiss him again, and realize I never want to stop.

"So you know your ex-wife was expecting to be your midnight kiss right?" I ask about half-an-hour later while we're slowly twirling around the dance floor.

"Really! I told her that I had someone else that I was crazy about." He spins me a bit too fast and I giggle and he pulls me closer. "She just doesn't get it."

"It's not like I was much help, I just kind of marched off to find you. Well, I would've said something if she hadn't told me you were crazy about me. I was so self-satisfied with that not even she could bring me down."

"Well its true detective." He smiles down at me.

"And that just makes it so much better." I beam at him and rest my head on his shoulder.

"You're remarkable." He whispers to me.

"Hmm?" I answer sleepily.

"You're remarkable." He says again.

"How so?" I ask.

"Don't question, you just you are. You're remarkable." He says.

"Mmm, thank you." I answer; sleep lacing every inch of my voice.

"I think it's time you get home, you look exhausted." He says and brushes some hair from my face.

"Okay." I answer and pull back. He gently places his lips on mine and I look to deepen it but he pulls back.

"You need sleep." He says.

"Yeah but I like peppermint." I whisper, so tired I don't really think about what I'm saying. Then it hits me. "You know what? Never mind." I place a quick kiss on his lips and smile. "Night Rick." I turn around and set off to find Lanie.

"Momma!" Ella squeals as I walk in.

"Hey baby." I reply sleepily.

"Damn Beckett, you look worn. Not as much as Ryan though, he was out by ten o'clock." Esposito says proudly, I scoop up Ella.

"Thanks Javi, really; just one question."

"Shoot."

"Weren't you supposed to put the three year old to bed? You realize there will be all hell to pay tomorrow right?" I ask.

"Uh, but—she, she said she wasn't tired." He explains.

"You realize that when a three year old says I'm not tired it means they're lying." I roll my eyes at him.

"Nu-uh, Baby Beckett wouldn't do that!" He defends and I glare at him.

"Yeah, Mama. No tired." Ella whispers sleepily on my shoulder and I point to her, laughing. He sighs.

"Alright, we owe you, I get it. Okay one totally free night of babysitting as long as we still get the two weeks free of all paperwork."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, now wake that lug up so that he's not here when I wake up and uh drive him home Javi." I say and he nods.

"You got it Kate." He says, gently pushing Ryan who ends up on the floor eliciting a few giggles from Ella who has rested her head on my shoulder.

"Get up Irish, she's home." Ryan stands and walks over to grab his coat.

"Thanks Kev." I say, hoisting Ella up on my hip a little more.

"No problem Kate, anytime." He smiles.

"Oh, believe me it'll be soon, considering she's still up." I say.

"Javi told me that he was taking her to bed right before I fell asleep." Ryan defends turning to look at his partner.

"She told him she wasn't sleepy." I sarcastically respond.

"Dude, not cool. Everyone knows to put them to bed still." Ryan shakes his head and motions towards the door. "Next time I'll put her to bed." He mumbles on their way out.

"Thanks guys!" I call out and Espo pops his head back in.

"Hey, how was the party?" He asks and I grin.

"Good." I say dreamily, goddamn that voice.

"Sounds a bit more than just good." He comments and then turns, closes the door quietly since Ella is half-way to sleep land, and leaves. I walk to her room and lie her down. He was right; it was definitely more than good.

"Yes Rick, I'm sure. Alexis should spend some time with her Mom." I say into the phone stumbling into the apartment and placing the groceries down. It's been two days since New Years and we still had no clue when to go on our first official date.

"Kate you don't have to do this." He says into the phone and Ella runs around jumping up and down in the apartment. Then she decides jumping on the couch would be super fun.

"One sec." I walk over and pick her up from the couch. "No more monkeys jumping on the couch, okay?" She nods and I set her down only for her to go wild again.

"Kate?"

"Yes Rick." I sigh, leaning against the counter.

"See if you can get a babysitter and tomorrow what do you say you and I go out for dinner? Say around 7-ish?" He asks and I start smiling.

"I'll see if the boys can baby-sit her again. They loved it the last time, even though she was awake when I got home. Well they owe me and I'm pretty sure Ryan'll be doing most of the work." I say and start walking aimlessly around my apartment.

"Alright, call me when you find out. Bye Kate, and really if you want to see Alexis, I wouldn't object to it." He says.

"Goodbye Rick." I finalize.

"Bye Kate." He hangs up and I laugh. Then I hear something break and groan.

"Mama, 'scuzzzee me." Ella had since figured out that if she says please, thank you and excuse me she'd get anything she wanted.

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**A/N: What do you think? Too fast? The next chapter will be their date and a surprise ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm a horrible updater I know that. I'm really sorry, so I wrote a long one for you, it's either the longest or the second longest so it's my way of saying sorry. I just wanted to say that even though Alexis is really young it doesn't take place back when she was that age because I was probably about 3/4 then so yeah. It takes place in present time with everybody just younger. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't think I've ever actually done a proper one of these and I'm too lazy to look it up so, everything familiar belongs to Andrew Marlowe.**

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I look myself over in the mirror, he said casual. Are jeans casual enough? I start to freak out a bit. I tug at my jacket and adjust my low cut sweater. It was one of those like cashmere sweaters that you just wear alone. Ella runs into my room and grabs onto my leg; running right into my boots.

"Mama, where you go?" She asks wide green eyes. I'm not sure how exactly to explain this to her, but I've got to try somehow.

"Well little miss, you know that Uncle Esposito, Uncle Kevin and I sometimes spend time just the three of us?" She nods and reaches up for me. I swoop in and take her into my arms. "Well Rick and I are going to do something like that but it's just going to be the two of us."

"I come?" She asks, wide eyes and I sigh.

"I thought you wanted to spend the night with Uncle Kevin and Uncle Javi?"

"They're coming!" She asks excitedly.

"Yup, you sure you want to come?" I ask as there's a knock on the door. She squirms out of my arms and runs for the door. I chase after her, expecting the baby-sitters to be on the other side. I get Ella just before she reaches the door; I tickle her until she stops squirming. I finally pull open the door but quickly so I can get back to tickling her. I turn around and swing her through the air.

"Stop, stop Mama." She screams through her laughter.

"If you insist." I swing her onto my hip, I turn expecting my babysitters and instead I see my date. "Hey Rick. The uh sitters are running late."

"That's okay." He walks over to us and Ella reaches out for him. He doesn't pause before he steals her from me.

"Hey, give her back. She's like a little space heater." I reach out for her and he moves away.

"No chance." He tosses Ella in the air and catches her. "Hi Ella," he says, grinning.

"Hi!" She shrieks.

"How're you?"

"Good! Throw me." She cheers, giggling. He laughs and I take a seat on the couch just the watch them. He tosses her for a while and she just laughs like a maniac.

"Rick stop. Stop," she squeals but he continues to throw her. He stops and starts to tickle her. "No, no, no." Ella squeals squirming in his grasp. "Mama help." I get up and run to her plucking her from his arms and tickling her myself. She laughs and laughs until she can't breathe and I stop.

"Hey! You stole my space heater." Rick pouts.

"You stole her first." I say, wrapping my arms tightly around Ella, there's a knock on the door and I turn towards it.

"Sitters?" I nod, hoisting Ella up higher. He walks towards me, staring into my eyes and then steals my daughter and begins to toss her again. "Then you should go answer the door." I roll my eyes and walk to the door pulling it open I see the boys and invite them in. They step in without hesitation.

"Your date's here right?" Ryan asks, then he hears Ella's shrill of laughter and they watch her as she's tossed yet again then Rick settles her on his hip as she continues to laugh.

"Hi fellas I'm Rick, Rick Castle, I'd be Kate's date." They each shake his hand and Ryan eyes him.

"You two match." He states and Esposito nods his approval.

"But if Ella likes him he's good in our books." Espo nods and I'm still thinking about what Ryan said. Matching? I look over at him and see that he's wearing jeans, a leather jacket and a white button up shirt.

"We do match." He comments a little too excited about that. "Connection."

"Coincidence."

"Whatever you say Katherine." I roll my eyes and Ella's squirming for me. I reach out and take her; she wraps her arms around me and gives me a hug.

"Bye Mama. See soon." Ella hugs me tightly and I hug her back.

"Poka lyubovʹ." I say to her, rocking her slightly.

"Poka sakhar." She whispers back and I set her down. She runs to Rick and hugs his legs.

"Bye Castle."

"Bye Ellie-belly." He says bending down to give her a better hug.

"Alright, alright. You two crazy kids get outta here and leave the babysitting to me." Ryan says.

"Hey!" Esposito motions toward himself in offense.

"Oh, I—I mean us." The detective quickly saves and then walks towards Ella, taking her into his arms.

"Okay, bye guys. Oh and remember the kid does know how to walk." I tell them grabbing Rick's hand and pulling him out the door.

"Someone's excited." He says once the doors closed.

"Yeah, well when you don't tell someone what you're doing for a date the person gets a bit antsy." I defend, walking with him; hand in hand.

"Well first we're going to dinner." He admits, pulling me closer and wrapping an arm around me.

"You realize we're going to look more like a couple that's been going out for months instead of one going on their first date." I say quizzically.

"Yes, but that's all the more fun." He whispers to me and I laugh. Okay we probably do look more like two people head over heels for each other but who cares, I like that his arm was around me.

We walk in silence as he leads me wordlessly to the restaurant. "And you're sure this is okay for the place we're going to?" I ask tugging on my jacket and pulling it closer.

"Kate, how could they not let a woman as beautiful as you in a restaurant? Dress code or not." He says squeezing my shoulder. I can feel the heat running to my cheeks.

"Thank you." I say, moving closer to him and wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Always." We walk in silence until we come up to an old diner. I look up at the sign and exhale. I can see my breath floating in the cold January air.

"How did you know?" I turn to him, smile on my face.

"Know what?" He asks timidly.

"This is my favourite place to get a burger?" I turn around, removing my arm from his waist.

"Really? You mean you've been to Remy's before?" He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Plenty of times. After particularly gruesome cases a burger, shake and little Ella is honestly best destresser in the world." I say, grabbing Rick's hand as we walk into the restaurant. He smiles.

"I've always wanted to take someone on a date here, but they had to be special. Could never find somebody that I thought would enjoy it the way I did. Now that I have she's already been here." He says teasingly.

"Well great minds think alike." I say.

"I think we proved that with our wardrobe." He points between the two of us and I laugh. We find our own seats since its seat yourself and wait for someone to come along. It's not long before someone does.

"Kate, Rick. Nice to see you both here. Are you together?" My usual waitress (and apparently his too) asks us. I blush from head to toe once again.

"Yes Abigail we are." Rick informs her taking my hand.

"That's sweet how'd you two meet?" She asks and I grin.

"Our kids; those two are like two peas in a pod." I answer and she grins back at me.

"Well then I'm gonna guess you'll both take your usuals; aside from the kids meals because I don't see Ella or Alexis with you." She looks at us expectantly.

"Thank you Abigail." Rick says still smiling. I can feel his eyes on me and turn scarlet. I move slightly so that my hair covers my face. "So Kate, what do you normally do on a first date?"

"Ask questions; get to know the other person. You know the works." I answer, running my fingers through my hair. I can feel the blush in my cheeks die down and look up at him through my lashes.

"Well what don't you know about me?" He squeezes my hand and I shake my hair from my face, meeting his gaze.

"Hmm let's see, what college did you go to?" I ask him.

"NYU, it was close to home and I didn't want to leave so I went here." He answers coolly. "What about you, where did seventeen year old Kate go to University?"

"Hey! I turned 18 that November!" I defend jokingly. "I went to Stanford, per-law."

"Wow California?" He asks, a bit shocked.

"Yeah, Will didn't like it at all. He kept saying this and that. Well by March of the next year I had a baby while I was in California and I wasn't planning on moving back. But I did maybe a week after she was born. That alone was hell, driving from California to New York with a week old baby. My Mom helped though, she drove while I attempted to keep her calm and entertained in the back so she wouldn't cry and cry and cry; regardless though it was a long drive." I answer and he just stares at me.

"You lied during one of my 20 questions." He accuses.

"Nu-uh schooling doesn't count!" I defend.

"Yeah but you moved there! You just said I moved back too! Yet in the game you totally said New York had always been your home!" He quips, knowing he's already won.

"Home is where the heart is." I answer smirking.

"Too bad, that means I get an extra question for our game which we still haven't finished."

"We could finish it now?" I offer and he shakes his head.

"Nope these questions are left out of the game. These are first date questions." He grins. "So you must've had a three month bump when you started university right?" He asks, stroking my hand.

"No, actually I found out I was pregnant while I was in school. Me and my best friend from high school Maddie took pregnancy tests one day out of boredom. Mine was a positive." I answer.

"So you found out in what, September?" I nod.

"Ella was born two months early. She just couldn't wait and of course Will refused to come down because he was busy training. We got married when I came home." I tell him, explaining how everything happened.

"She must've been tiny."

"She was, right weeks too early, she was just a small little thing with a pair of lungs. She's grown though, a lot."

"She was okay when she was born though right?"

"Oh yeah, jaundice but that's not exactly uncommon." I answer smiling.

"That's good. Well what happened between you and Will, that's kind of like what happened with Meredith and me, we dated for a bit she got pregnant and I married her. We didn't even really have a wedding we just went to city hall. She made me throw her a huge reception after Alexis was born though, that part I didn't like so much." He smiles at me, searching my eyes for something and I smile.

"So I guess we've learned not to get married so just because of pregnancy." I laugh and so does he. We're interrupted by our drinks.

"A strawberry shake?"

"Shut up, they're my favourite." I answer.

"So what were you and Ella speaking back at the apartment?"

"Russian; I taught Ella how to speak in Russian a little while ago, she's actually pretty good."

"What were you saying?" He asks, way to curious.

"Bye love and Bye sugar, I don't know why but she absolutely loves to call me that; it's adorable." We grin at each other and are once again interrupted by our meals. We sit quietly for the rest of it just staring at each other. We make some small talk, but mostly just smile at one another. It's hard not either, he really is ruggedly handsome.

"A walk? Through Central Park? In January? Are you crazy, Rick it's freezing out." I say, eyes popping out of my head.

"Relax, that only means we can snuggle closer." He warps an arm around me and pulls me in quite closely.

"But I'm already cold." I complain.

"Oh, you'll live. Besides it's only a shortcut to where we're going." He snuggles me closer.

"Which would be where exactly?" I ask, leaning into him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Oh Katherine, you only wish." He smiles at me and I roll me eyes.

"Will you stop calling me that?" I say resting a head on his shoulder as he drags me through the park. All too comfortable on a first date.

"Either that or Katie." He whispers and I shake my head laughing.

"Katherine it is." I answer and he pulls me closer to an exit of the park.

"Well then Kate how much do you want to know where we're going?" He asks, looking down at me.

"Oh I don't know maybe more than you're enjoying this right now?"

"Not possible."

"Oh it is." I say as we exit the park, a shiver rolls down my spine as he rubs my back gently.

"Good thing we're almost there you're shivering." My cheeks turn scarlet; oh I'd never tell him. It'd go right to his head.

"Yeah, good thing." I whisper as he walks us up to a building. He lets me go and reluctantly I take my arms back. He opens the door and gestures for me to go in first. I walk ahead and then turn to face him.

"What is this place?"

"Indoor mini-golf." He grins and grabs my hand. I smile.

"Picking something you know you'll win? Did you call Lanie?" I ask as he eagerly drags me to the course.

"Now how would I possibly know that?"

"You did call Lanie." I conclude laughing.

"Yeah well she was very helpful." He grins, we walk up the stairs and I shake my head.

"How'd you even get her phone number?" I ask, in utter disbelief that he actually did call my best friend.

"I may have talked to her at the party about it and she may have given me her number so we could discuss it further at a later time." He grins at me as we reach the top floor. We walk in and I see what looks like a dungeon wall and walk closer to Rick.

"This doesn't look like mini-golf." I answer, taking his hand.

"We're just gonna do this first. You get free mini-golf when you go here. Well mini-golf or laser tag and since you'd probably kick my ass at laser tag I figured, why not go through a walk in a horror house and then play some mini-golf." He shrugs, giving my hand a comforting squeeze.

"Is it live action?" I question I'm so close to him now I'm actually standing partially behind him.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you safe." He jokes pulling me forward and wrapping an arm around me. "C'mon Kate you're a cop, why're you scared of a little spook thing?" He asks.

"Cause, when I'm chasing down criminals I have my gun." I answer. We get to the person we pay and he smiles.

"Have fun in horror house, sir and ma'am. Remember there are no refunds for chickens." He says as the dungeon door opens and we step inside. Something pounces and I jump back screaming. Then I see it's only some automated thing and blush. Rick just starts laughing at me. I swat his arm and then melt into his side again. We walk down a hallway a few things jumping out here and there. We get to a flight of stairs and there's a sign on it:

Careful, there's someone waiting for you downstairs. What you've seen so far has only been the beginning, be prepared for what's lurking in the dark. Chicken exit is to your left.

"Scared?"

"Yes." I whisper as he leads me through the door and down the stairs. We walk and I hear something shuffle behind us. I turn around and a flash of light reveals someone right behind us. I grab Rick's hand and start running. Screaming as I go. We go through a doorway into a normally lit room and I think it's all over. I calm down my erratic breathing and glare at him for laughing at me.

"C'mon Kate, he wasn't that scary."

"You didn't see his face!" I defend, sulking.

"Oh c'mon, it's over." He takes my hand again and leads me through the door into what looks like a bedroom, with fake blood all over the walls.

"This looks like the crime scene from yesterday." I whisper, low enough that Rick can't hear me.

"What's that honey?" I stop in my tracks.

"Don't call me honey, kitten." I glare at him and he covers his ears and makes disgusted noises.

"Ew! Ugh, I hate that pet name. Kitten, Meredith used to call me that." He supplies and I take his hand again.

"Let's make a deal. You never, ever call me honey and I'll never ever call you Kitten."

"Deal, but why don't you like honey?" We stood there holding hands just looking at each other.

"Cause you put it on your toast and it's all gooey. Plus Will used to call me that and he called me that at work once. Needless to say they still call me that." I laugh with him at the last part.

"Gooey, really?" He asks, still laughing.

"Yes, and it got in Ella's hair once. That took like a week to get out."

"Honey comes out in one wash." He says confused.

"Now when they keep getting it suck in there." We laugh again and this time we notice someone else laughing with us. We turn around and see two people, one with a gun—well a fake gun—and one covered in blood—fake blood—I guess if we were paying more attention we would've notice them.

"Guess it's not over." Rick shrugs and wraps and arm around me. "Sorry folks, we'll be moving on now. You might want to tone down the laughing, I hear more people coming. Places." The actors stop laughing and get in place once again, still laughing. We leave as someone else goes in. Hearing a few blood curling screams. We start laughing again at our obvious ease when we walked into that room. Like it was normal to be in a blood covered bedroom at 8:30 on a Monday night, well for me it was. What's his excuse?

"You were oddly comfortable in that gruesome looking bedroom back there." I tease knocking the side of his hip with my own.

"You were too."

"Hello homicide detective." I answer, he laughs.

"Kate, I write scenes more gruesome than that in my books. Of course I'm comfortable in something like that, I write scenes like that for a living." He laughs and I nod.

"Alright, alright! C'mon writer boy, let's get through this." I say and we keep walking. Surprisingly we make it through there okay. A few times I ended up in his arms because someone jumped out, one time I ran behind him to his other side to cower into his other shoulder because someone grabbed my shoulder. That was right before the exit.

"Kate you should've seen your face, you literally screamed so loud. I can't hear out of my right ear anymore. I honestly can't. Oh my god I can't breathe." I whack his chest and he just laughs harder.

"I'm never going to live this down am I?" I ask, walking in front of him and I descend the stairs to the mini-golf course two floors below as the sign that you see when you leave the horror bourse states.

"Not a chance."

"Great, just don't mention it to the boys." I say, stopping him by pushing his chest before he can walk into the course.

"Why not?" He asks; that crinkle in his eye that I absolutely love.

"They'll be even worse than you." I crinkle my nose at what happened after the 'honey' thing. Another reason I hated it? The boys put a jar on my desk and I knocked it over into my lap...

"Deal." He wraps an arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder. "You ready to get you ask kicked at mini-golf?"

"It doesn't matter if I do suck, I'll still kick your ass at this." I defend and race towards the entrance leaving him to chase after me.

Ten minutes late I had one hand on my hip and was biting my bottom lip, frustrated as ever. "That's what, my fifth hole in one?" Rick grins cockily.

"Don't gloat it's unattractive." I say and get ready to hit my ball.

"Wait Kate, you're doing it wrong. Let me help you?" He asks the last part and, reluctantly I nod. He comes to stand behind me he wraps his arms around me and I stand with my feet shoulder width apart him right behind me. My heart's beating faster than a hummingbird. He places his large hands over my small ones.

"You better not be enjoying this." I say and I can hear him chuckle.

"Only as much as you are." He comments and I grin. Damn him. He slowly pulls the putter back and hits the ball with enough force to send it to the hole, falling in just like that.

"Hey wanna help me do that every hole?" I ask, turning around in his arms and smiling at him.

"I thought you'd never ask." He grins and for the rest of the eighteen holes he stands behind me, holding me close.

"So what were Alexis and her Mom doing tonight?" I ask him as we approach my front door.

"Something Meredith wanted to do. I'm leaving the rest of the day to them tomorrow so that they can go shopping or whatever, plus I have a book signing so." He shrugs and I grin at him.

"Book signing eh? I'd say I'd come visit but I've got to work until five." I answer opening the door.

"That just misses the time. Signing ends at 4:30." He snaps his fingers as we walk in and I laugh rather loudly. Then I realize it's too quiet in my apartment and the boys are suddenly shushing us.

"The kid's asleep! Whisper," Ryan scolds arms folded over his chest.

"Guys, my kid sleeps like the dead. She wakes up when she chooses too, noise has never bothered her." I answer.

"Oh," Espo says returning to normal volume. "Well then, Ryan and I should probably be going." Ryan nods and grabs his things.

"Call us anytime to baby-sit. Kid is so easy to get to sleep." Ryan says and I spin on my heels to face him, wide-eyed.

"What's your secret?"

"Warm honey-milk." He answers before the two walk out the door. I grin and Espo pops his head back in the door.

"Oh and this means we don't owe you know right?" He asks, smiling.

"Yes. Bye boys, see you tomorrow."

"Bye Kate, nice to meet you Castle." Ryan says coming back to push his partner down my hall.

"Nice to meet you too!" Rick calls just before they leave. "Those two must be fun to work with." Rick comments from the island.

"Yeah, they're total goofs, but they've got your back when you need 'em. That's why they're such great friends." I comment, grinning."

"They must be." He checks his watch and his SMS fades away.

"I should be getting back, make sure Alexis is sleeping." He walks over and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Before you know it I'm exploring his mouth again and battling with his tongue. We pull back when we both need air.

"One helluva way to say goodnight." I say breathing erratically.

"I'll say." He kisses me gently and quickly. Pulling back way too soon. "Bye Kate, I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, I'll see you soon to Rick." I reply; we stay the same way, my arms wrapped around his neck, lost in each other's eyes.

"As much as I'd like to stay here, just like this, for like ever, I have to go make sure Alexis hasn't been ultimately traumatized by her mother." He looks down at me and I try to hide my smile. Failing miserably.

"Alright I suppose I can let you go since I've got my own creations to check on." I release his neck from my arms and place my hands on his shoulders instead. Then finally as he removes his hands from my hips I take mine off his shoulders; we put some distance between us and I walk him to the door. "Bye Rick, I had a really great time tonight. Thank you." I say, leaning against my door as he waits in the door frame. He leans down to place a gentle peck to my lips and smiles.

"Anytime Katherine, anytime." He grins and turns to leave. I step slightly out of my apartment to watch him go. I sigh, content and then go to check on my own little monster.

I grab the phone on the last ring just as I enter the door. "Beckett." I answer quickly.

"Hey Kate, its Rick. I know you probably just got in from work but I have a huge favour I need to ask of you." He says into the phone. My breath catches when I think of the previous night; he must've just gotten home from his book signing ten, twenty minutes ago; depending on traffic.

"Yeah, sure anything."

"Alright well, let me start this the right way. So today I get home from the book signing and there are suitcases at the front door and roses covering every inch of this place in hundreds of different colours. Now I'm thinking okay, weird but then I hear someone scream from upstairs 'go away!' And I mean scream. So Meredith comes down the stairs not two minutes later and she's like 'I'm checking into a hotel for tonight. Our daughter is extremely upset and keeps asking for roses.' So she leaves and I've got one problem solved. So I go upstairs and ask Alexis if I can come in and she says 'No go away! I only want roses!' So I say, 'Honey there are thousands downstairs, come down and I'll show you.' But she just gets more upset so I try again. I asked her what roses really meant and she said Kate. So I said that Mommy wouldn't be down for very long and that it was good for her to spend time with her. She just screamed and from what it sounded like she was bawling. I—I just. So then she said really quietly as if she were up against the door 'I want Kate more than I want you or Mommy." He explains and I try to calm him down.

"Rick, it's okay. Put her on alright?" I can hear shuffling on the other line then a knock on the door. Ella rams into my legs as she always does when I come home. "Hey Ellie-belly, Mommy's on the phone okay just one sec." She nods and stays there waiting for me to swoosh her up when I'm done. Well she's says swoosh I just go along with it.

"Kate?" Alexis asks into the phone.

"Hey Alexis, what's going on?" I ask.

"I want some Kate and Alexis time. Just us two, I wanna talk." She nearly whispers into the phone, it worries me. A lot.

"Okay Alexis, put your Dad back on." There's more shuffling and then he's talking again.

"What's up?"

"Hey would you mind of Alexis stayed here tonight while Ella stayed with you?" I ask him.

"Yeah sure, why?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow, give is an hour to get everything ready okay?"

"See you in an hour." He answers, hanging up. I 'swoosh' Ella up and walk over to the calendar and look at the date. January 4th, this meant that when Alexis went home tomorrow I'd have to make a very important call.

"Wanna spend tonight at Rick's house?" I ask her and she giggles and nods.

"You too?"

"No, me and Alexis are going to stay here and you and Rick are going to be there. Sound good?" She nods and I smile.

"Well then, go get your stuff ready." I say and Ella's hesitant.

"We go now?" She asks cautiously.

"We'll go in half an hour, okay?" She nods and rests her head on my shoulder.

"Mama, I love you." She whispers to me.

"I love you too Ella, more than the entire world." I say. She smile and patches her arms around my neck.

"I love you more." She whispers again and I start to tickle her.

"Not possible munchkin."

* * *

**A/N: So what do you think? Yes my 'surprise' was Alexis wanting Kate more than her Mom, if you have any ideas for future dates I'd be happy to try to work them in ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey there. Just wanted to say thank you so freaking much! I never expected you guys would like the story so much. I actually updated on time today! *Yay***

**Disclaimer: I only own Ella.**

* * *

It took us half-an-hour to make it over to their house. By the time we get there Ella is starting to doze in her car seat. I walk around to the back and grab her bag from the side opposite her seat. I close the door and make my way over to her. "Ella, honey; we're here." I say, taking her from the car and closing the door. She tangles her hand in my hair and I smile.

"Mama I tired." She whispers, nuzzling closer.  
"I know, but you gotta wake up. I promise tomorrow we'll have a whole fun day together, I'm not working." I say to her and she instantly wakes up.  
"Rick and Lexis too?" She asks.  
"We'll see." I reply shifting her so we're both more comfortable. I walk into the lobby smiling as I pass the doorman. I walk to the elevator, which just so happens to be full of people; and Ella rests her head on my shoulder.  
"Mama, I gotta pee." I almost laugh but manage to just get away with a smile. Only my daughter would announce this in an elevator full of people, as loud as she can and have no shame. Then again she's three.  
"Just wait till we get upstairs." I say to her stifling a laugh. I feel someone tap my shoulder and turn around to see an older red-headed woman smiling at Ella and I.  
"You're daughter is adorable." She comments waving to Ella.  
"Thank you." I reply turning to my daughter and then facing the elevator doors again. The elevator stops and everyone gets out...I think.  
"I see you don't have a ring on your hand so I'm assuming you're single. You know my son is single and always looking for someone." She raises her eyebrows suggestively and I grin at her.  
"Actually I don't live here. I'm on my way to see someone." I answer.  
"A special someone?" She asks and I nod.  
"Yeah."  
"Mama what's a special someone?"Ella asks.  
"Well you're a special someone Ella." I answer and she smiles.  
"I like being special." She announces eliciting a soft chuckle from the woman behind us. We reach Castle's floor and we both get off. We walk in silence and I expect her to pick one of the doors next to Rick's apartment or just down the hall a bit. I reach the door and ring the doorbell. Confused she stops in front of the door as well.  
"I think you've got the wrong door," she points at it and smiles. "This is my son's apartment and he's most certainly single...isn't he?" She says and then the door opens. I hear screaming, crying and yelling coming from upstairs.  
"Kate thank god you're here! Mother, I'm hoping you can get rid of Meredith, she's just making it worse." He opens the door wider for us to come in. I walk in and Ella squirms for him. He plucks her from my arms and I set her bag down. I turn and head for the stairs and hear him call my name.  
"Yes?"  
"Everything she needs is in the bag?" He asks.  
"Yup, she hasn't eaten yet so she's probably going to be hungry soon. Two sets of clothes, pyjamas, and her teddy bear and she cannot sleep without it! Speaking of sleep she's a bit tired, won't take much for her to fall asleep tonight. Just turn on a movie and she'll pass out. I think that's it." I say, racking my brain for anything else.  
"Mama I gotta pee." Ella cries out, reminding me of something important.  
"Right, c'mere." I slowly walk over towards her.  
"It's okay Kate, I've got it." Rick says.  
"Mama!" Ella screams.  
"Ella can't you go with Rick." She starts to scream and cry until her face turns red, it's nothing compared to what's still coming from upstairs. I walk over and take her. "Ella it's okay. Shh honey, Mama's right here. I've got you."  
"Mama." She whimpers burying her head in my hair.  
"Roses!" A scream comes from upstairs and I clamp my eyes shut.  
"May I?" Rick's Mom asks, nodding at Ella.  
"Sure, if she wants." I answer and she walks towards me.  
"Hi there little one." Ella peeks through my hair to look at her. She waves timidly. "How about I take you to the bathroom and then we'll do each other's hair? Does that sound good?" Ella's soft whimpers have now turned into a face splitting grin. Just as quickly as it came it runs away.  
"Mama tells me not to talk to strangers." She whispers.  
"Well I'm Martha and you're Ella. Now we're not strangers anymore. Now we're friends." Martha says reaching out for her. Ella hesitates and then reaches out for her. Passing my daughter with a smile from Rick, I start up the stairs and see Meredith banging on the door.  
"Alexis open the door!" Meredith yells. Alexis just continues to scream and I walk to the door and give Meredith a stone cold glare; the glare I reserve for low-life criminals and all around bitches. She moves out of the way and I knock tentatively on the door.  
"Go away!" Alexis yells.  
"Rosebud it's me. Can I come in?" I ask, hand on the door. I feel it start to open and I see her small red face covered in tears.  
"Only you." She says looking at me.  
"Okay, that's perfectly okay." I walk into her room and close the door behind me. There are heels clacking down the stairs and then there's a lot of yelling.  
"I don't like it when they fight." She whispers, climbing on to her bed.  
"I don't like it when people fight either." I take a seat at the end of her bed and notice tear trail down her face.  
"Mommy doesn't always pay attention." She's quiet for a minute as I expect her to continue. "Kate will you come and sit with me?" She looks up at me and I smile at her. I move to where she's sitting against the backboard and settle next to her. She climbs into my lap. "Kate do you have to go home tonight?" She asks, snuggling closer.  
"Well actually was thinking you could come with me. Just you and me, what do you say?" I ask and she looks up at me.  
"Just you and me, like a sleepover?" She wonders and I nod. "Can we leave now?"Alexis asks excitedly.  
"You've gotta get your stuff ready. Your Dad's already said it was okay." She scrambles out of my arms and grabs her bag.  
"I'm gonna get ready." She smiles and I get up.  
"I'll go tell your Dad." I say walking out the door. I walk down the stairs and see that Ella and Rick have made themselves scarce and Martha is seeing Meredith out.  
"Ha! I knew she'd kick you out!" Meredith says trying to rub it in my face. I ignore her and set out to find Rick. I peer into the study and see him and Ella sitting there just laughing. I take out my phone and snap a quick picture, not wanting to forget the adorableness since I missed getting a picture the last time they had a cute little moment like this.  
"Rick, Alexis is getting ready and then we're going." I answer, he just nods and I walk back out to the living room and see Martha just closing the door on Meredith and Alexis chooses this moment to come running down the stairs.  
"I'm ready Kate. Let's go, now!" Alexis grabs my hand and drags me to the door.  
"Okay, Alexis just wait one second." She stops and gives me a look. One that Ella gives me, one that says 'I'll do it but I'm so not impressed'. I almost laugh as I look down at her back pack. "Got your tooth brush?" She nods. "Tooth paste?" She nods again. "Pyjamas? Change of clothes?"  
"Yes, yes and yes." She complains and I smile.  
"And last but not least," I say, completely serious. "Do you have Monkey Bonkey?" Her eyes widen and she takes off for the stairs leaving her back pack forgotten on the ground. I pick it up and walk towards the study.  
"Kate?" Martha asks.  
"Yes?"  
"When you come back out, will you bring that darling daughter of yours? She's just so cute." Martha coos and I grin.  
"I will, promise." I answer, laughing slightly. I walk into Rick's office. "Trade you." I say, snatching Ella and replacing her with the bag.  
"What's this?" He asks as Ella toys with my hair and I play with her curls. Pulling the gently and watching as they snap back.  
"Your daughters back pack, will you check and make sure everything she needs is there?"  
"You won't do it?"  
"Please. Snooping through daughters' stuff is a Dad's job." I answer, twirling a curl around my fingers, absent-mindedly.  
"Mama, you're doing it again." Ella sighs.  
"Sorry, hun." I whisper and she just nods.  
"Alexis' got everything." Rick replies passing me the back pack and reaching expectantly for Ella.  
"Nope, I promised your Mother." I walk out and pass Ella to Martha, knowing Alexis will soon be back with her stuffed monkey.  
"Hello Ella," Martha says leaving Ella smiling her big grin.  
"Hi," She looks around. "Lexis go with Mama?" She asks, looking around for Alexis.  
"Yeah, Alexis is going with Mama and you're gonna stay here with me." Martha replies.  
"Castle?" I smile when she calls him that, she'd taken some kind of liking to it and it was just adorable.  
"Mhm, Castle too." I say and Alexis runs - and almost falls - down the stairs.  
"Careful, Rosebud." I say as she stops in front of me.  
"Sorry, can we go now?" She asks and I grin.  
"Yes we can go, go say bye to your Dad." I say and she runs off towards the study. I walk over to Ella. She reaches to me and I take her and give her a hug.  
"Bye Mama." She says holding me tight.  
"Bye baby." I whisper. Alexis comes running out and Ella just holds on. "Hey, Ellie-belly; gimme a kiss." She pecks my cheek and grins. I kiss her back and make a loud 'M'wah'. I pass her back to Martha and swing Alexis's bag over my shoulder.  
"Hi Grams, bye Grams." Alexis says rushing out the door, I laugh and walk to the doorway. I turn and look at Martha.  
"It was nice to meet you Martha." I reach out my hand and she shakes it.  
"You too Kate." I look over at Rick and rock on my heels. "Hey Ella why don't you and I go on upstairs and get some things for doing hair hmm?" Martha says and Ella cheers. They head on upstairs and Rick walks closer so that we're just a few inches from each other.  
"Please make sure my kid comes back in one piece tomorrow." I say and he grins.  
"And mine?" I look down the hallway and see she's just a little bit a head.  
"C'mon Kate." She bellows when she sees me.  
"Just a second I'm making sure your Dad's got everything under control." I yell to her and she laughs. I lean back in and see him grinning.  
"Kate, I've got it. You've got it. Just figure out how many times I need to kill Meredith and everything'll be normal." We grin up at each other and I wrap my arms around his neck. "Thank you for this." He says to me.  
"My pleasure." I place a soft kiss to his lips and Martha descends the stair way quickly, thank god she doesn't have Ella. Way too many questions after that one.  
"Sorry, I guess you are off the market. Does Alexis know?" I remove my arms and take a step back and peak into the hall way, looking for the little red head she's making her way towards me. I lean back in and just catch the end of Rick's sentence.  
"Neither does Ella." He says and steps back just as Alexis gets to the door.  
"Kate, let's go." She says, gesturing to the hall way and I laugh.  
"Bye Rick, bye Martha. I'll see you guys soon." I take Alexis's hand and we start walking down the hall way.  
"Have fun," Rick yells.  
"Just don't lose my kid, too much work to find her." I can hear him laughing as he closes the door.  
"Kate, can we have a movie marathon?" Alexis asks, almost skipping down the hallway.  
"We can do whatever you want." Her smile is so huge after I say that, it melts my heart. I just hoped she'd tell me whatever was on her mind earlier. It was amazing how she could go from so upset to so completely happy.

"Alexis, can you tell me something?" I ask her as she snuggles closer into my side during the fifth movie we've watched.  
"What?" She whispers quietly.  
"You don't have to answer it if you don't want to." I say, cautiously and she turns in my arms. "What made you so upset today?"  
"Mommy doesn't pay attention to me anymore." She says she curls closer until she's pressed flush against me. "She doesn't love me." It breaks my heart when she says those four words and I hold her tightly.  
"Of course she loves you, how could someone not love you." I try to comfort her. She buries her face in my hair.  
"She doesn't care. She never listens to me. Why doesn't she care?" Alexis peers up at me and I see her face is tear-soaked again.  
"Of course she cares honey. You're perfect, as perfect as perfect can be." I say to her, wiping away her tears.  
"Mommy doesn't think so, I'm not good enough."  
"I think so. Your better than anyone who says you're not good enough. They're just jealous of the way you shine." I stare down into her crystal eyes and she stares back at me. "Stop crying Rosebud, when you cry, it breaks my heart." I admit to her.  
"Why can't Mommy love me like you do?" Alexis asks and for once I'm left speechless by a why question. You'd think with all my practice I'd be an expert with why questions.  
"Well you see Rosebud sometimes somebody can love someone so, so much and just not show it the way someone else does. I know you may think that your Mommy doesn't love you but she does. She just has a funny way of showing it." I answer.  
"Oh, okay." She's quiet again and I start to think something's wrong. "Then why does she only talk about herself?"  
"Because she loves you enough to let you know what she's thinking. Sometimes Mommies just make mistakes and sometimes we think they don't love us, but they do. They love us lots and lots." I explain to her, she processes it for a while and then looks at me, a dead serious look on her face.  
"Can I tell you something?" She asks, scrambling off my lap to put some distance between us and look me in the eye.  
"Anything. Alexis, you can always tell me anything, anytime, anyplace. I am always here for you. Always." I answer, tucking some hair behind her here and remaining stretched out on my couch.  
"I wish you were my Mom. I wish Ella and I were sisters and that you, me, her and Daddy could all be one big happy family. Without Mommy." She admits, never meeting my gaze. I'm taken a back so I continue to stare at her, trying to find the right words. Twice this small, vulnerable, fragile little girl had left me speechless in a ten-minute time span.  
"Alexis, c'mere." The girl returns to my arms and we lay there on the couch.  
"I'd love so, so much to be your Mommy. But you already have a Mommy and as much as you may not like her right now, you love her." I say and she sighs.  
"I don't know." She whispers so quietly I almost miss it. I don't know what to say so I just look at her.  
"Alexis, remember what I said. Anything you need, absolutely anything, all you have to do is ask." I whisper and she looks up at me.  
"Okay. I'm glad I have you Kate, you're perfect too." She whispers. I start to play with her hair and she just lies there. I feel her breathing even out and after a few minutes, I know she's asleep. I move so that I can gather her in my arms. I carry her off to my room and lie her down on the bed. As I pull the covers over her I hear the phone in the living room ring. I close the door and quickly get to the living room, slipping and sliding as I run down the hardwood floors in my socks.  
"Hello." I answer, giggling at the fact I almost tripped like five seconds ago.  
"Kate? You and Alexis seem to be having fun, its eleven o'clock at night. Shouldn't you both be exhausted?" Rick's voice comes through the line and my grin spreads.  
"Your daughter is sound asleep; I just tripped in the hall and started laughing, no big." I reply and can hear him laughing on the other line."How's my kid?" I ask, walking over to the island and jumping up on top of it.  
"Asleep by nine-thirty, reluctant to say goodbye to my Mother, like holding her legs asking her not to go, reluctant; had dinner half-an-hour after you left, Mother and Ella played for a bit, Mother left, and I turn on a movie and she was asleep." He answers, "Alexis and you?"  
"She just fell asleep. When we got here I ordered Chinese, Alexis and I turned on some movies, we ate, we had a talk and she fell asleep."I tell him.  
"Did you find out what was upsetting her?" He asks, I cast a look down the hall way and make sure that she's not awake and listening.  
"She thinks Meredith doesn't love her. She thinks that she's not good enough for her."I tell him leaving out the part about her wishing I was her Mom.  
"I'll kill Meredith." He says through clenched teeth.  
"After I shoot her...then we'll hide the body." I say, laughing slightly.  
"No, guns are too loud! Let's kill her with and icicle! They'll never find the murder weapon!" I burst out into laughter.  
"I dread the day you kill someone and I get put on the case, that's good though. You should use that in your next book." I say, gasping for air.  
"Wait a minute; I should use that in my next book." I hear him moving around. "Just let me write this down."  
"Lemme guess, it was the ex-husband." I say into the phone.  
"Nah, he'll be the red-herring." We laugh for another moment.  
"Okay can we not talk about how you used the way you'd kill your ex-wife into a best-selling novel." I joke and he shuffles some more.  
She deserves it." He replies and I nod.  
"She does, but it's still wrong." I say and hop off the counter. I pace my kitchen, after we'd finished the food we'd put it all away because Alexis insisted on helping.  
"I know, just. How do I make it better?" He asks and I sigh, stopping my pacing.  
"Show her how much you love her, though I don't know how you could do a better job. You two are like two peas in a pod; each other against the world." I say into the phone.  
"Not anymore. Not it's the four of us against the world. I honestly don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there for her and Ella? She made it so much easier on me because she was so light-hearted. Mother insists on seeing her again soon." He rambles and I grin.  
"I don't know what I would've done without you either. It's like our small dysfunctional families fit together to make a happy one. You guys have made it so much easier on us after the divorce and with my Mom gone, and my Dad. You guys just make it better." I tell him.  
"Always," is all he says, and it's all I need. We're silent for a moment and then I hear something on the other line. It sounds like a fridge door being opened. "I'll tell you one thing though, I'm a little jealous that my daughter gets to spend the night there before I do." He says and I laugh.  
"All in good time Writer boy." I seductively whisper.  
"I-uh. We should spend the day together tomorrow, you, my, the kids. Sound good?"  
"Fabulous." I whisper and laugh. "See you tomorrow Rick."  
"Bye Kate." He says. I hang up the phone and stretch out a bit yawning. Tomorrow would be a roller coaster, especially with the call.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you think?**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I'm so so so so so so so so so sorry! I actually meant to update earlier I really did, but I went on vacation with my family and I didn't get any writing time for about a week then when I got back it was immediate with high school orientation and getting my schedule and varsity baske****tball tryouts. So I didn't get the time. I'm so so so so so so so so sorry!**

**Disclaimer: If it's familiar it's probably Marlowe's.**

* * *

I woke to a very small girl giggling. I slowly open an eye to check and see who it is and to be honest I'm a bit surprised to see Alexis smiling down at me. "Hey Rosebud," I say when I finally remember yesterday's events.

"Hi Kate," she grins and I can't help but think that it is way too early to be doing that.

"Watcha laughing at?" I ask, sitting up and rubbing at my eyes.

"You. You snore." She giggles again and even I laugh.

"Shh, that's our little secret." I say jokingly.

"Maybe," she teases right back.

"Maybe hm?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"Mhm." She nods and grins moving closer to the edge of the bed.

"Well maybe I'll just have to tickle you until it's a yes!" I hop out of bed and run after her. We run down the hallway and into the living room before I finally catch her. We end up in a heap of giggles on the couch.

"Okay, okay. It's our secret." She says raising her hands in surrender. The phone rings and I smile at her.

"That's probably your Dad." I say and get up walking to the phone and answering.

"Can I talk to him too?" She asks, hesitantly.

"Of course you can. Oh and before I forget, what would you like for breakfast?"

"Oh no, no, no, no, no. No! I'm bringing breakfast with me. Ella-shmella can you help me put these in the container?" I hear Rick answer on the phone. I pull it away from my face and laugh.

"Never mind Alexis your Dad is _bringing_ breakfast." She gives me a confused look and I shrug. "Boys are weird."

"Don't tell her that! She'll take it to heart!" He screeches from the other end. I laugh and walk back over to the couch. I turn the TV on for Alexis and she quickly changes the channel to Cartoons.

"Anyways, Ella here is a handful, but she wants to go ice skating. You game?" He asks over the phone.

"You wanna take a three year old ice skating Rick. Just imagine what could go wrong there!" I exclaim into the phone walking to my kitchen and turning on the coffee maker.

"First of all we can both hold one of her hands do she doesn't fall and she says she's been before and she has her own pair of skates. Second of all, when I say I'm bringing breakfast I mean coffee too, turn that retched machine off." He demands and I burst out into laughter, turning off the machine as I do so. "What?"

"Retched, it always makes me laugh." I say in between my laughing fits. It's silent for a moment until I calm down enough to speak again. "Rick, still there?"

"That is the most adorable thing ever." He says, adoringly.

"Yeah well, Ella inherits it from somewhere." I answer.

"Castle where go?" Ella yells from the other line.

"Right here Ella-shmella." He jokes and she laughs.

"How could I miss you, giant?" She taunts back. I can't help but smile at their little exchange, even over the phone the cuteness level still breaks the scale.

"That reminds me, your daughter wants to talk to you." I say, pulling Rick from his conversation with my little girl.

"And Ella wants to talk to you."

"Alexis asked first!" I say, walking over to the couch and handing Alexis the phone.

"Hi Daddy!" Alexis answers excitedly and I tune out, not wanting to invade on their conversation. I walk to my room and make the bed, slowly so I have something to do while they talk.

"Kate!" Alexis calls out, I assume they're done they're call so I finish my extremely slow bed-making.

"Coming." I say walking out of my room and back to the living room.

"Daddy wants to talk you again." She passes me the phone and turns her attention back to the TV.

"Hello."

"She doesn't sound anything like yesterday. Katherine Beckett I have come to the conclusion that you are magic." I laugh.

"Don't say that! Ella will hear you and she'll think you mean literally." I say.

"But I do and you are. You Kate are magic." He states over the phone. I hear a gasp and a squeal and then, repeatedly hear. 'I wanna talk magic mama.'

"I told you so." I hear him laugh and walk to the island, hopping up on it.

"Hi Mama, you magic?" Ella asks getting her turn on the phone.

"No, Ella. Mommy is not magic." I sigh and it's silent for a moment.

"You're magic to me Mama." She decides and it warms my heart.

"You're magic to me too baby, what's Rick bringing for breakfast?"

"Castle bring waffles and secret." She states proudly, like she knows the secret.

"What's the secret?"

"Yummy stuff." She announces proudly.

"What yummy stuff?" I hear feet against the floor and suddenly the person that answers isn't my daughter.

"Stop trying to get Intel from your daughter. I'll be over in fifteen, you guys better be dressed and ready." I smile.

"Yeah, no promises." I hang up the phone and sit next to Alexis on the couch.

"Watcha watching rosebud?" I ask and she beams at me.

"Scooby-Doo." She answers.

"This show is awesome!" I exclaim.

"Will you watch it with me?" She asks, hesitant yet again but not as much as usual.

"Of course! I would never want to miss an episode of Scooby-Doo with you." She grins and settles against me for the episode.

"Kate, sweetie, wake up." The breath is hot against my ear and I slowly open my eyes.

"Rick?" I ask turning to see him smiling at me.

"Hey there." He says pulling back so there's enough room for us to breathe our own air.

"Kids?"

"Ella's room." I nod and stretch.

"You hungry?" I nod and roll towards him. On the very small couch that I somehow managed to fall asleep on, completely stretched out. I must've been moved after Alexis had gotten up. Anyways rolling towards him ends up being a bad idea as I fall off, my upper half landing in his arms.

"Whoa!" He falls backwards from his crouching position and soon we're just staring into each other's eyes laughing all across the floor.

"So it's 'Sweetie' now is it?" I ask, in the distance I hear a door open so I brush my cheek against his and move away from him. I stand up as the girls rush over.

"Mama!" Ella squeals.

"Hey Ella," I say and scoop her up.

"Mama Can we go skating?" She asks big green eyes and pouty lips.

"You were put up to this weren't you?" I ask staring into her eyes.

"I think so." She trails off and looks at Rick. "Was I?"

"Well yeah, and it was working." He explains crossing his arms.

"I think you mean worked. We can go skating." I with and shake my head. "I just hope you know what you've gotten us into." He laughs slightly and shakes his head.

"C'mon Kate it'll be fun. Now, you two go play while Kate and I set out breakfast. Deal?" The two look at each other and simultaneously nod. Ella wriggles in my arms so I set her down, she and Alexis take off again and I start to wonder what kind of trouble they're getting into. Rick and I walk wordlessly into the kitchen and he shoots me a smile.

"You will sit on top of this counter," he gestures to the island, "and watch me set everything out Sweetie."

"Again with the sweetie?" I ask, doing as I'm told.

"Well we could try something else?" He offers getting busy with what he's doing.

"You know you should let me help you." I say and he spins and shakes his finger at me.

"The other day I remembered that I hadn't done anything special for your birthday and I want to repay you for that." I roll my eyes.

"Rick its fine; we hadn't known each other that long when my birthday did pass." I shrug.

"Long enough for you to have stolen my daughter's heart." He says returning to what he was doing before. I groan.

"You really want to repay me?" He turns with the grin of a nine-year old on his face and nods. "Then c'mere." He walks over and stands in front of me. I pull him between my legs and meet his lips in a soft passionate kiss. When I pull back I stare into his eyes. "That's a start." I say when I get my voice back.

"Yeah." He says breathless. "Now let me get back to breakfast Sweetie." He turns back so he can get back to what he's doing and I can't wipe the grin off my face.

"Okay yeah we need to come up with a different name." I say.

"Well pumpkin is taken, so is darling, what about Baby or Babe?" He questions back still to me.

"I call Ella baby girl and babe sometimes so that's a no."

"Okay what about cupcake?"

"Yeah!" I say enthusiastically.

"Really?" He turns to me clearly confused.

"Sure," I glare at him. "When hell freezes over."

"Okay then what about dear?"

"No."

"Princess."

"Definitely not."

"Cookie?"

"The nerd from that one Disney show? I don't think so."

"Angel?"

"Too used."

"Apple of my eye."

"Corny."

"Butterfly?"

"Those freak me out."He turns and gives me an odd look. "It's a thing, just—continue."

"Button?"

"Not gonna happen."

"Cutie Pie?"

"No!"

"Muffin?"

"Why all the food?"

"Because it's making you hungrier." He supplies and I glare at him. Silently I hop off the counter and walk up behind him. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his back.

I stand on my toes so that my lips are right near his ear and whisper, "You're right about that boyfriend." A shiver goes down his spine, I pull away laughing. I walk back over to the island and hop up.

"Tease." He mumbles under his breath and I smile.

"I like that one." I admit and he laughs.

"Of all the pet names you chose 'tease'?" I bite my lip and nod. "You are one extraordinary woman Kate."

"So we've decided on pet names." I laugh and he does too.

He suddenly stops what he's doing and walks down the hallway. I'm curious as to what he's up to but I don't move to follow him. He comes back not ten seconds later and set the plates on the table.

"Kate, before we eat can I just ask you one more thing?" He smiles at me, but he's really hesitant as he asks so I smile reassuringly at him.

"Of course boyfriend, anything, anytime." I answer.

He smiles. "Well I was just wondering what else you and Alexis talked about last night." I can't meet his eyes when he says that.

"I—I don't think she'd want me to tell you and I don't want to betray her trust. I think, that in time, she'll tell you on her own terms. For now though I think it's best we don't say anything, but if you really want to know—well you are her and I won't keep it from you." I answer. I wait a moment and then exhale, I'm satisfied with what I've said but I still can't force myself to meet his eye.

"Kate, if it weren't you then I'd probably want to know, but because it is you and you're doing it for her and she trusts you enough to tell you what she's been keeping to herself than I can't help but love you for that." I turn and see his intent blues staring at me, meaning every word being spoken.

"Thank you."

"Always. Now I'm starving, shall we get the girls?" I nod and he goes to the hallway. I hop of the counter and walk to the table. I look down and see waffles with piles of fruits on them, mostly bananas, strawberries, cherries and pineapples. That's not all that's there though, there are two scoops of ice cream and it's covered in chocolate sauce. He comes sauntering out with a girl on each hip, he does so with such a practiced ease that it's impossible to tell he doesn't do that every day. Alexis and Ella rush to their seats where smaller waffles, a single scoop of ice cream, not as much fruits and minimal chocolate sauce await them. I grin and watch them for a moment. Rick comes to stand next to me.

"What do you think?" I turn and look at him.

"You certainly know the way to a girl's heart." I take my seat and begin eating. He laughs but follows shortly after me.

It took us maybe another two hours after we finished eating to get to the Rockefeller Centre. An hour of that was solely focused on un-stickifiying Ella. We'd tried to get all the chocolate sauce off her face along with the fruit juice when I realized she had it all in her hair and it would be best to just bathe her. Another half hour was dedicated to showers, hair drying and changing. The rest was traffic. Now we were sitting on the benches trying to lace up our skates and I was having the most difficulty getting Ella to sit still while I did it. "Ella just stop swinging your feet." I say.

"I bored."

"Ella!" I say in my best no-nonsense voice. I attempt to try to lace the skates up again but she continues swinging her legs. "I can't do this." I drop the lace and place my hands on my things. Rick kneels down next to where I'm crouching.

"Can you go on the ice with Alexis, I'm not quite ready yet and you are. I'll take care of Ella you just watch the red-head." He states as I go to speak but he interrupts me.

"Thank you." I say, noticing his perfectly laced skates. I walk over and Alexis takes my hand.

"Ready?" She asks me and I nod.

"Ready." Alexis giggles and we step out into the ice. My legs are a big shaky as we skate since I haven't been in a while but I just focused on trying not to fall and keeping pace with the girl practically pulling me along.

"C'mon Kate," Alexis squeals and I start to find my rhythm, I skate a bit faster so I'm keeping pace with her, she grins. "Isn't this fun?"

"Yeah! I haven't been skating in forever." I admit.

"Then why does Ella have skates of you haven't been skating in a long time?"

"Because her Auntie Lanie takes her, so she's out on the ice more than I am." I smile down at her and she beams at me.

"When can I see Lanie again?" She asks.

"Well, I don't know. I'll have to call and see. Maybe we can have a girl's day. Just you, me, Ella and Lanie. How's that sound?" I ask and she Kane's on her bottom lip.

"Can Gram come too, I think Ella would like that and Gram would want to see you again too." Alexis decides as she looks up at me.

"Tell you what, we'll ask them both and we'll see what they both say about it all?" She nods and Kate sees Rick and Ella walk out on the rink. Rick has Ella in his arms and my stomach starts doing flips.

"Rick please be careful!" I say as he skates to the centre.

"I've got her," He reaches the middle and sets her down. Alexis takes off towards them and pulls me along for the ride. Ella is attempting to skate around and failing miserably. Alexis lets go of my hand and I grab into one of Ella's and Rick has her other hand. We skate in a small oval in the centre of the rink and Alexis skates slightly ahead of us, careful not to get lost in the crowd of people.

"Kate, you seem oddly comfortable on the ice for someone who hasn't skated in years. What's your secret?" He ponders and I giggle.

"Well my Aunt and Uncle used to have this like huge pond in their backyard and every year they made it into a skating rink. At Christmas time the whole family would gather at their place upstate and play small curling games. You were drafted onto teams by the time you were five, so it was best you knew how to skate." I answer as we swig Ella for perhaps the millionth time.

"Ah, and let me guess; little Katie was the best skater." He replies and I laugh.

"I was second best. My Aunt and Uncle had my cousin in figure skating lessons at the earliest age possible. You want to see a natural, it's her." I answer playfully.

"Nah, I'd rather watch you." He says and I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. Thank god they were already rosy from the freezing air.

"Daddy, I'm cold." Alexis says skating over and taking me hand.

"Alright, do you want to go?" Alexis thinks and then nods.

"Yeah, I think we're all cold." Alexis states and I laugh.

"I'm freezing." I admit and Alexis beams.

"Alright I get it, time to go home." He grins and takes Ella into his arms.

"I've got her, go back to the land of benches and boots." He sends Alexis and me off but he's close behind. We get to the benches and it goes much smoother than before. I help Alexis and he helps Ella, soon we're all heading towards the exit. Alexis and Ella just ahead of us.

"I should call the car service to come pick us up. You are coming over for dinner right?" He asks, hope in his voice.

"You know I'd love to, but I haven't really had a whole lot of mother-daughter time with Ella lately and you and Alexis should probably have sometime alone to work through what happened yesterday." I answer.

"Yeah I guess you're right. Kate, based on what happened yesterday do you think she'll be heartbroken that Meredith's gone?" He asks as we get closer to the huge Christmas tree that the girls seem intent on seeing.

"Honestly? I have no clue, your girl she's a mystery." I answer.

"Just like you." He bumps his hip with mine and I smile.

"Please I'm like an open book."

"I beg to differ; I can never decipher what's going on through your little head." He remarks and I roll my eyes.

"Mhm, well like I said Ella and I should be getting back to the apartment. See you soon?" He nods.

"Very soon." He answers. I walk over to Alexis after giving Rick a huge smile; I tap on her shoulder and give her a hug.

"Bye Alexis and remember, I'm always here if you want to talk." I say and she smiles.

"Thanks, Bye Kate." She turns and gives Ella a small hug. "Bye Ella."

"Bye Lexis." Ella says then makes her way over to Rick. They exchange a few words as Alexis and I just watch. "Mama!" Ella calls out afterwards, I take her from Rick and smile at him.

"Bye Rick."

"Bye Kate." I wave to Alexis who waves back and then turn and walk away. It would be a while before we got back home, traffic wasn't looking so hot.

I closed the door to Ella's room at eight-thirty; she'd been completely worn out and had almost fallen asleep during dinner. I silently toe to the living room and grab the cordless. I spin on my heel and walk down the hall to my bedroom. I change into my pajamas and settle under the covers, I dial the familiar number and listen to it ring, I relax against the head rest as someone answers the phone.

"Hello?" The familiar female voice answers and I smile.

"Hey Aunt June, it's Katie." I say and hear her laugh.

"Katie, long time no talk. How've you been girlie?"

"I've been doing well. How're you? How's Uncle Sean? And Lizzy and the twins?" I ask hurriedly.

"Whoa, whoa. So many questions, I'm well. Sean's just dandy he's probably out working on that old car now." She jokes and I laugh.

"He's still working on that thing? That hasn't worked since before I was born!" I say, laughing.

"Try telling him that! He's still positive it'll work one day! Lizzy's doing well; you remember her wedding a few years back?"

"Yeah, has it really been years?" I ask astounded.

"Yup. Well she had a baby girl last year and they're expecting their second sometime this summer." She announces proudly. "The twins are great, Rodney is off to Columbia and Hayley is off to Stanford. She'd wanted to go there since she'd found out you went there." She stifles a laugh. "She adores you." She says and I grin. "How's your daughter? Ella?"

"She's good, she's a handful but she's cute so it's okay." I answer and we both laugh.

"So she's just like you then?" We both laugh and I nod.

"I guess so."

"And what about that husband of yours?" She asks hesitantly.

"Oh I broke that off with him a year ago, Ella was heartbroken. She didn't exactly understand but she knew he wasn't there. It wasn't much of a surprise though she would only see him once a week anyways since that was the only time he was home." I admit.

"Good riddens. I always hated that sleazebag, the way he treated you. The nerve of that boy! Men, hey!" She exclaims and I laugh.

"Not all men." I defend and she stops laughing.

"Katherine Beckett are you holding out on me! I thought I was your favorite Aunt!" She says with mock-hurt. I shift slightly so I'm more relaxed and laugh.

"Aunt June you're my only Aunt."

"That's not true, there's Aunt Susie and Aunt Cali and Aunt Mae and Aunt Delilah and—"

"You're my only blood Aunt and therefore my favourite." I say, laughing.

"So what made you finally ring me? A wedding invite?" She asks, hopeful. I scoff.

"No buy I was wondering if we could hold a little family gathering on the 9th?" I ask and know she's drawing conclusions.

"Katie that's when your Mom…are you sure?"

"Actually I want to do this for my Dad he's been sober for a while and I don't want him to fall off the wagon because he's doing so well. I think he might be able to do it this time." I answer.

"Always the doting daughter. I'll make you a deal, you bring your darling Ella and your new man toy and the entire family will be here. I'll get your Dad over here the day before and he won't leave till the tenth, deal?" I laugh.

"Thank you so much Aunt June and I'll bring him as long as you guys promise not to scare him away. I actually like Rick." I laugh and so does she.

"I promise Katie but its Papa you need to worry about, and then you're Dad and then me."

"Placing yourself at third are we? I'm actually more scared of your Spanish interrogation than either of those two." I answer.

"Yeah well, you scare easily." I laugh.

"Apparently. Bye Aunt June, I'll see you soon."

"See you soon Katie." We hang up and I place the cordless on the nightstand, knowing it'll probably be dead by tomorrow but I just don't want to leave my bed. At the moment…it was giving me warm blanket hugs. I shake my head and relax into the sheets and drift off. Deeming 'blanket hugs' as the sleep talking.

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**A/N: So what did you think?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I am so so so sorry I haven't uploaded in like FOREVER! I just started high school and have like three AP classes this semester, which sucks! Next semester I have both my optionals so updates will be much more regular then, promise. I hope you like this chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: Castle would be airing tomorrow if I were Marlowe.**

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I shift uncomfortably in my seat and it doesn't get by Rick the way I hoped it would've. "You nervous?"

"No, but you should be." I answer, playfully.

"And why's that?" He asks, I give him a side glance from the driver's seat and then focus back on the road quickly checking on the two little ones in the back. They're sleeping, as they were twenty minutes ago.

"They know about us and they love to interrogate my boyfriends." I answer.

"I've been through that before I think I'll be able to take it." He answers.

"Just think about how I'd be in an interrogation room, add Lanie's questioning about your intentions."

He gulps, "I might survive that."

"Wait, I'm not finished. Now take that situation you have going on in your head and multiply it by three." I cast another side glance at him and he's pale. "What's a matter Ricky? You nervous?"

"I am now." He grumbles and I laugh.

"Well don't act like it cause we're pulling into the driveway and they'll tear you to shreds if they find out you're nervous." I say and he just stares at me with a panicked glance, I can feel him getting worse by the minute.

"Kate, are we almost there?" Alexis asks sleep lacing her tone.

"Yeah sweetie it's just up there." I point to the house down the driveway and Castle's jaw drops.

"Kate this place is huge!" He exclaims and I laugh.

"I didn't tell you they lived on a horse ranch did I?" I turn towards him and he shakes his head rapidly. I look out at the three story house and shrug. It'd seemed huge when I was a kid, but as I got older it seemed smaller and smaller. It just never really felt like a mansion to me. I look at him and then hear Alexis gasp.

"It's ginormous!" She shrieks.

"It's really not that big." I say to them and get 'are you kidding' looks in return.

"Sure Kate and the sky aren't blue." I come to a stop at the end of a long parade of cars and lean on the dash to get a look at the sky.

"Actually, right now? The sky's white." I answer, turning to smile at him.

"You're hilarious." He rolls his eyes and then turns to Alexis and Ella who's still fast asleep. "Alright pumpkin, time to go inside. You nervous?" She shakes her head no. "Good, c'mon I'll meet you outside your car door. Don't move until I come get you we don't know if a car is coming okay?" Alexis nods and I look at my sleeping girl. We exchange silent looks and both get out of the car and switch sides; him after Alexis and me after Ella.

"Why would she be nervous?" I ask pausing outside Ella's door.

"I don't know, I was trying to make myself feel better."

"Well I'm petrified. Feel any better?" I ask.

"Worse." He answers. I open the door and pull the sleeping child from her car seat, closing the door with a quiet *thump*. She stirs but doesn't wake. I walk with them up to the door and can see people out back; I stop outside the door and give Rick a reassuring smile as I knock. Not ten seconds later my Aunt June swings the door open and smiles at me.

"Katie! How are you? Oh is she sleeping?" She asks all at once, I nod and she holds up a finger and closes the door once again. It's extremely loud in there, but Ella didn't move, she just continued to sleep.

"What's going on? Do they not want us?" Alexis asks timidly. Rick and I share a solemn look.

"No Lexi, they're probably just finding a place for Ella to sleep and getting everyone to quiet down." She nods and that's when the door swings open; this time revealing an older form of my cousin Lizzy.

"Oh my god, Katie you look like sex on a stick!" She exclaims; I slap a palm to my face.

"What's sex?" Alexis asks and Lizzy turns her attention to the two of them and looks back apologetically at me.

"We'll tell you when you're taller Lex." I answer for Lizzy.

"Yeah! So um, I'll show you to where you can put Ella so she can sleep. My girl Abbey's up there sleeping too." She smiles politely at me and apologetically at Rick. He shrugs it off and smiles. Lizzy walks in and we follow. "Mom would show you where it'd be quiet but she had to deal with Rodney and Hayley fighting over who got to see you first. Even though we both know Rodney's only doing it to—" She looks at Alexis and smiles. "Aggravate her." I laugh lightly and shake my head. Lizzy had never been one for child-friendly language. She shows Rick and Alexis where to put their boots and coats and shows me upstairs. "Here is the room, you can just lay her on the bed there and if she's a screamer the whole house will know she's awake." I laugh and lay Ella down, carefully removing her jacket as Rick had already removed her boots. I place the jacket by her feet and smile at her.

"Knowing her shell probably just wander down the stairs." I answer and follow Lizzy out of the room. I smile at her and hug her. "May I say that you are the most adorable pregnant person ever?"

"Only half as adorable as you were! I mean Kate you literally glowed." I roll my eyes and she sighs.

"It's true! Your argument is invalid." She answers walking off towards the stairs.

"How far along are you?" I ask as we descend.

"Four months, we're expecting him in June." She rubs her tummy and stops at the small landing. "So how long have you been dating mister hunka-hunka-burning love?" I actually laugh at her reference and find myself short of breath.

"Officially or unofficially?" I ask.

"Both?"

"Unofficially since November, officially a few weeks." I answer.

"Does he know how long you were unofficially dating?" She asks timidly and I folly my eyes.

"Well I'd hope so!" I roll my eyes. "Besides I'm not the creep who has imaginary boyfriends."

"Hey! I broke it off with Xavier before the wedding!" She defends but then cracks a wicked smile. "But I started seeing him maybe six months after." I laugh at her and roll my eyes.

"Well I better go find my Hunk of Burning love before the family pounces and kills him."

"Don't worry, I told them they had to wait until after dinner for that." I scoff at her as we hit the bottom floor.

"Katie!" A girl shrieks running into my legs.

"Emily?" I ask and she pulls back nodding.

"You were six the last time I saw you! How old are you now?" I ask.

"No Katie, I was five when you saw me. Now I'm 8." She declares.

"What? No way! You're so big!" I exclaim and she smiles.

"Dis you bring Ella?"

"Mhm, but she's sleeping right now."

"Oh," she answers disappointedly.

"But, I brought a friend with me and she's 7. Wanna play with her?" Her eyes light up and she nods. She takes my hand and Lizzy just smiles at us, walking in the direction of her husband.

"Where is she?" Emily asks and I shrug.

"I don't know." I say and then I catch sight of bright red hair, sitting next to a tall man and they both seem out of place and awkward. I laugh, Emily looks at me and I just pull her along. Finally we reach the two and I sit down a few seats away from him, pulling Emily into my lap.

"Katie, I'm a big girl. I can sit all on my own." She answers, crossing her arms. I put my hands up in defeat.

"Okay, suit yourself." She hope off my lap and sits directly next to me.

"Kate!" Alexis shrieks and runs to me, seeing no problem with sitting in my lap.

"Hey Rosebud." I say, wrapping my arms around her middle and giving her a hug. "Whatcha doing?"

"Waiting for you, there are a lot of people here." She answers, I nod.

"Yeah there are tons!" I agree and she laughs.

"Who's that?" Alexis asks looking at Emily.

"I'm Emmy." She answers.

"Like the award?" Alexis asks confused.

"Sorta, my names Emily, but everyone calls me Emmy." She answers proudly.

"Oh, I'm Alexis. Everybody calls me Lexi or Lex or Alexis." I smile as the girls talk, noticing that Rick still hasn't noticed me, even though his daughter had been sitting next to him. I roll my eyes and shake my head. Then again I am three people down from him.

"Wanna go play?" Emily asks Alexis, who turns to me for approval.

"Can I?" She asks.

"Of course you can just no going outside unless you ask. Got it?" She nods. "Have fun." She scrambles from my laugh and the two take off. I get up and walk over to Rick who's stuck between Rodney and crazy cousin Bobby. I turn to Bobby, who I know is much more afraid of me than Rodney.

"Move Bobby." I say sternly.

"Aw now Katie is that anyway to say hello to your cousin that you haven't seen in years? Come on now, where's the love?"

"Do you not forget what happened last time?" I ask him, Rick just sits back and watches in amusement.

"Now, now, now Katie. Watch that tone." I glare at him. "You know what Tony, I'm kind of hungry. Maybe I will move."

"S'that right?" Tony replies I give them both a look and shrug waiting for Bobby to move.

"Yeah, I'm in the mood for a peanut butter and Katie sandwich." He smiles deviously, I spin on my heel and try to run from him but instead run straight into Tony's arm.

"No, no, no, no!" I shriek and they squish me between the two of them. "Guys let me go." I complain, I try to love but my arms are pinned to my side. Eventually they let go when they realize I'm not putting up a fight anymore. I'm fuming of course sending them both glares as my family roars in laughter. I stick my tongue out at Bobby and run to take his spot, getting there before he does. I cross my arms and Rick wraps an arm around me.

"C'mon now don't pout."

"Uh, hello! You could've saved me?" I say pointing to the two idiots just standing there laughing.

"Why would I do that? I need the brownie points." I roll my eyes and playfully slap his shoulder.

"It's not funny." I say relaxing into his side as he still laughs.

"Yes, it really was!"

"Okay maybe it was a little funny." I stifle a laugh and he grins.

"There's the spirit Katie!" He says and I glare at him.

"I thought we agreed to not call me Katie?"

"But everyone else does!" He defends himself and I shake my head.

"She only has that nickname because she couldn't say Kate or Katherine." The familiar voice rings out and I get up, moving around to the back of the couch.

"Hey Dad." I say pulling him in for a hug.

"Hey Katie," He says loud enough for everyone to hear and then quietly whispers, "thank you. I don't know if I would've made it through today if it weren't for you." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and I smile.

"I don't know how long I would've lasted without crying if it weren't for this." I say.

"So who's your friend?" He asks motioning towards Rick as we pull apart.

"No, no, no Uncle Jimmy. That's Katie's *boyfriend*." Rodney teases I walk up behind him and smack him upside him head.

"Ow!"

"Smartass." I grumble.

"Yeah, like god Rodney obviously Uncle Jimmy knew that!" A female version of Rodney walks up next to me and rolls her eyes. "Hey Katie!" She wraps her arms around me.

"Hey Hayley." I say, hugging her back.

"By the way, that little girl, Alexis? She's adorable! But I thought your little girl's name was Ella?"

"It is, she is upstairs sleeping and Alexis is big Rick's over here." I say pointing at him.

"Okay two things, thank you for calling my daughter adorable," He says to Hayley and then turns to me, "and also thank you for calling me big Rick." I roll my eyes and see Bobby's taken my seat.

"Bobby move." I say yet again.

"Nu-uh Katie, you snooze you lose." He says.

"You do know I'm a cop right?" He turns and looks at me.

"You are?"

"Yeah!"

"But with your history," I walk over and slap a hand over his mouth.

"Unless you want Aunt Charlotte to find out all about project Bobby then you'll stop right there." He nods underneath my hand and I smirk.

"Alright all sixty-three of you STOP TALKING!" Aunt June yells standing on top of the coffee table. The room quiets considerably and all eyes are on her. "As you may know we've got two new people here and a family member we've only met once among us. So when I say so we're all gonna do our roll call starting with the Grandparents, then the Aunts and Uncles, to the cousins, to the second cousins and our newbies will introduce themselves where they fit. Got everybody from outside in here? Good. We'll start!" I make my way and lean down so I'm close to Rick's ear.

"Its tradition when someone the family doesn't know joins us." He nods and I take his hand. "Chillax."

"Nana." I look up as my grandmother starts.

"Papa." Well that concludes the grandparents.

"June."

"Cole."

"Jim."

"Calvin."

"Dylan."

"Aaron."

"Michael."

"Jake."

"Ken." I lean close to Rick again.

"Those are my Dad's brothers and sister. Now comes everybody who's married in."

"Sean."

"Lindsey."

"Kara."

"Cali."

"Charlotte."

"Susie."

"Mae."

"Delilah."

"Now here are all of my cousins." I say to him.

"Lizzy."

"Rodney."

"Hayley."

"Those are Aunt June's and Uncle Sean's kids.

"Amelia."

"Alex."

"Those are Uncle Cole and Aunt Lindsey's daughters." I stand up. "Kate."

"Boo!" The family choruses.

"Fine! Katie! Are you all happy now?"

"Yes!" They yell out I grumble.

"And obviously I'm my Dad's and my Mom's."

"Jeremiah."

"Hannah."

"Uncle Calvin and Aunt Kara."

"Mary."

"James."

"Lux."

"Uncle Dylan and Aunt Cali."

"Bobby."

"Tony."

"Uncle Aaron and Aunt Charlotte's boys." He continues to nod as I tell him who belongs to whom.

"Maura."

"Jane."

"Uncle Michael and Aunt Susie's girls."

"Glen."

"Toby."

"Uncle Jake and Aunt Mae."

"Rebecca."

"Uncle Ken and Aunt Delilah's daughter."

"Kate how many of them are married?"

"Four of the girls, five of the boys." I answer.

"And how many have kids?"

"All nine of them." I reply hesitantly.

"You never told me your family was huge." I just smile at him.

"Jason."

"That's Lizzy's husband."

"Malcolm."

"Amelia's husband." I reply squeezing his hand. "Your turn." Everybody waits for Rick to stand up as he realizes what I say.

"Oh, Rick." He says standing. He sits back down and I laugh.

"Beth."

"Smooth move, that's Jeremiah's wife."

"Gale."

"Mary's husband."

"Jessica."

"James' wife."

"Lillian."

"Bobby's wife."

"Allison."

"Tony's wife."

"Ashton."

"Rebecca's husband." He turns towards me and I kiss his cheek. "It's almost over."

"Opal."

"Toby's wife. That concludes all of my cousins." I answer, "Now for their kids, believe me there won't be to many." I wrap my arms around his shoulders.

"Abigail who is upstairs asleep." Lizzy announces.

"And that's Lizzy's little girl."

"Joshua."

"Maya."

"Those are Amelia and Malcolm's kids." I stand up.

"Ella who is—" I see someone move in my peripheral vision. "Coming down the stairs, hey sleepy." She wanders over to me and reaches up. I lift her onto my hip.

"Hi Mama, hi everyone." She snuggles closer to me. I wave the little redhead over and she comes running.

"Yes Kate?"

"Hey honey, can you tell everyone your name?" She nods. I set Ella down for a minute to lift Alexis.

"Alexis." She announces and everyone smiles at her. Some wave and she waves back. I set her down and she runs over to Emily again. Ella just reaches for me, still drowsy from sleep I set her on the back on the couch and lean close to him to whisper to him again.

"Ours obviously." He says to me before I can. I smile when he says ours.

"Obviously." I say and he reaches back and takes Ella into his arms.

"Kale."

"Emily."

"Leah."

"Jeremiah and Beth's kids." I say.

"Emerald."

"Greyson."

"Those are Mary and Gale's kids and yes Greyson gets hassled by Aunt Cali because he goes by Grey."

"What does she do?" He asks hesitantly Ella still on my hip.

"Calls him Fifty Shades."

"Taylor."

"Liam."

"James and Jessica's boys."

"Cece."

"Vick."

"Bobby and Lillian's kids,"

"TJ."

"William."

"Tony and Allison's boys."

"Camilla."

"Leslie."

"John."

"Rebecca and Ashton's kids."

"Andy."

"Sammy."

"Those are Toby and Opal's kids and that concludes roll call." I say and he sighs. Aunt June stands on the table again.

"Alright, as you were." The room bursts into conversation and Ella stands up and reaches over the edge of the couch and tugs on my shirt so I look at her.

"I go see Grandpa." She says and I nod lifting her over the couch and setting her down.

"C'mon Rick, I've got someone I want to introduce to you." He gets up and comes around the back of the couch.

"Shall we my tease?" He whispers quietly, I laugh.

"When can you pick a normal name?" I ask him as I lead him over to my Dad, hands joined.

"How about peach?" He asks and I crinkle my nose.

"I liked cupcake better." I reply honestly and he laughs. We come to a stop in front of my Dad and I smile at him.

"Dad, this is Rick. Rick this is my Dad." I say introducing the two. I look around for Ella but she's not there. "I thought my kid was coming over to see you?" I ask him.

"She came, she conquered, and she ran off with Alexis and Emily." He explains smiling." She looks just like you Katie." I grin at him.

"I'll take that as a compliment." I reply.

"Rick, it's very nice to meet you."

"Hi Mr. Beckett, it's a pleasure." He says, shaking my father's hand

"Please Rick, call me Jim." He says smiling at him.

"Alright Jim." Rick smiles back and I just watch them.

"Hope you're hungry because June loves to cook for huge crowds." My Dad looks at his sister who disappears. I feel a tap on my shoulder and spin around to see Hayley standing there grinning.

"Can we talk?" She asks.

"Sure thing kiddo." I reply and we wander off to the stairs and eventually we're sitting in her room. I go and take a seat on her bed and before K get a word out she's already squealing.

"There's a boy and he's perfect and I love him and I want to marry him and oh my gosh Katie he's wonderful!" She squeals.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down breathe, who is he? What's his name? Did you meet him at college?"

"I can't tell you cause you'll tell Mom and she'll go all protective. It's a surprise, but I met him and he said he knew Lizzy and he even knew you! But he's wonderful and he makes everything better and—"

"Hayley!" She stops. "I swear I won't tell your Mom, there are tons of things that I don't tell your Mom or Dad that Lizzy and I did. You can trust me."

"His name is Will."

"Back the truck up, what's his name!" I shriek.

"Will? Why?"

"Is he like my age?" She nods. "In the FBI?" She nods again. "Charming but he can be a bit of a jerk."

"Yeah, how do you know him?"

"He's my ex-husband!" I yell, she gulps and I pinch the bridge of my nose to lower my frustration. "You didn't meet him because you left the twenty-seventh to go to Hawaii with your friends remember? I was pregnant with Ella and somehow managed to drag him out here with me. Hayley everybody in this place hates him, please tell me you didn't invite him."

"I did, but he declined. Oh Katie I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have started dating him without asking you or Lizzy how you knew him. I feel like such a–a whore!" She confides sitting next to me and leaning her head on my shoulder.

"You're not a whore, he is for being such an asshole, and he knew we were related." I reply, smoothing down her hair. "When did you meet him?"

"I was down on a surprise visit to Mom and I was in the city in September. Met him in the park. We've been dating since." She answers and I sigh.

"What're you gonna do?" I ask her.

"Dump his sorry butt, right now." She says, pulling out her phone.

"Well I'll um leave you to it." I leave her room and run down the stairs, I see the front door walk over to it, I step into the nearest pair of shoes which just so happen to be Rick's and walk outside, closing the door behind me. I stand there and stare up at the sky.

"How the hell did this even happen! On today of all days! What! Why!" I kick some of the snow and clamp my eyes shut. My hands clench into fists and I want to scream. I hear the door open and turn around, I see Rick just standing there. Rick walks out, seeming to have stolen someone else's shoes.

"Kate you've got my shoes on." He says, enclosing me in his arms.

"I know I couldn't find mine." I grin up at him, turning so I face him fully. He grins and gives me a small kiss.

"That's okay." We stay like that me just surrounded by him. I cower into his neck and suddenly realize he's supporting most of my weight. I feel a hot tear roll down my cheek, followed by another and another. I start shaking with tears a mangled sob escapes and he holds me closer.

"Hey Kate, Kate it's okay, I've got you. Kate, baby it's okay." He rubs my back and I'm continuing to sob. "Kate, Katherine what's wrong? Kate? Kate is everything okay?" He asks, not letting me go even slightly, letting me cower into him. I try to speak, but can't so I just keep crying. He starts to move and I realize he's walking and I'm going with him, he stops after a few moments and bends down to brush something off and I'm still clinging to him. He sits down and pulls me next to him. It doesn't take long for me to melt into his side and eventually crawl into his lap. He holds me closer than ever before. I pull back just enough to see his face and he wipes a tear off my probably red face. "Oh, Kate." I start sobbing again and cower away, soaking his neck and most likely his shirt. "What is it? Kate it's okay, I'm sorry. Don't worry I've got you." He whispers into my ear, he continues to reassure me.

"It's my Mom, Rick." I whisper to him after a minute. "Four years today we came home and she was gone. God Rick, four years Ella doesn't even remember her. Oh and to top it all off, Hayley is upstairs dumping her new boyfriend, Will." I say.

"No," His eyes go wide and I nod, holding back more tears.

"It's just so hard, I—I just wish," I sigh and lean into him again. "I wish she was still here." I say before I start crying again.

"I'm so, so sorry Kate. Is there anything I can do?" He asks, rubbing my back.

"Just hold me." I look into his eyes and he smiles.

"Always."

It was around nine pm when they gathered all the kids into the living room with Lizzy and Mary. The rest of the adults were forced outside, of course I expected a huge snowball fight like a previous years but instead they all shooed us to the frozen pond used for curling. Rick looks at me in confusion and I push him to the side. "Now is your last chance. My family takes their curling very seriously, honestly Uncle Calvin plays like he's an Olympian. You can offer to go help the two pregnant women out with the kids or you can chose to stay here and play. Just remember, you've been warned." He grins at me and looks back at the house.

"I'll play." I shake my head and walk away.

"Suit yourself, but just remember this; your on ice with your shoes taped up, so don't slip." I look down at my feet and realize I'd decided to wear practical boots today figuring this would've happened. He walks with me to the pond where my family is already picking teams.

"I pick Katie!" Tony screams. I silently walk over there leaving Rick to fend for himself as Tony judges me. "Can your boy skate?"

"Yeah, he's pretty good at it." I admit, I look around at the night sky. There isn't any city lights out here and we're a good ten feet from the nearest lamp so the stars are in full view. I start smiling as I stare at the vastness of the sky and arms wrap around my waist.

"Beautiful isn't it?" He asks and places a kiss a top my hair.

"Yeah," I reply, snuggling closer to him in the cold of the night.

"You don't see this in New York."

"No you really don't." I reply spinning in his arms so I can lock mine around his neck; I burrow my face into his chest. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asks, tightening his grip on me.

"L—" the words stuck on my tongue, I almost say loving me. Are we ready for that? *No Kate it's too early*, but—no you're right it's too early. "Loving my daughter." I say, he tightens his grip.

"Thank you for loving mine." He whispers into my hair, I pull back just enough to see his face. His eyes are swimming with emotion that his face is trying to hide and I can't help but wonder if mine are the same way. I smile slightly as we both utter the promise of Always yet again.

"Alright you two love birds get a grip. We're about to start. Rick, please tell me you've played before!" Tony says ripping us from our moment. Reluctantly we pull away and stand there just waiting for him to respond.

"Not particularly." He answers honestly.

"Well, you're gonna learn real fast. Let's go." Tony drags us over to a long bench, big enough for all the adults still eligible to compete to each put a foot up and tape their shoes. Needless to say it was a *very* long bench. I taped the bottom of mine with practiced ease, but Rick was having trouble.

"Let me." I say, I tape up his shoes and then he moves to tape his second doing a sloppy but decent job. "All you have to do is shuffle on the ice and sweep but you have to do it as fast as you can, got it?" I ask him, he nods and I smile. "Just stand in front of me and do what I do?"

"You should have started with that! That I can do!" He replies enthusiastically. I wrap him in a hug once again and smile.

"Just try not to make too big a fool of yourself."

"I promise you I will try." we step out on to the ice and I'm already practicing and Rick is slipping and sliding everywhere. "This is going to be difficult isn't it?"

"I warned you." I say in a sing-song voice.

"Oh brother." They hand us the brooms and his eyes go wide. "I'm going to fall."

"Then just get back up." We wait where we're supposed to and Tony glides across the ice, sliding the granite across the frozen pond.

"Sweep Castle," I say jokingly. His eyes bulge out of his head as he indeed starts moving the broom across the ice to farther advance the stone. I move too and suddenly he stops once we get close to the edge of the circles, since he gives me no warning I keep going and end up slipping. I save myself, but have accidentally knocked into him, who falls over and even though I'd thought I'd caught myself I end up right next to him on the ice.

"Oaf." He breaths out as I fall on him. I sit up and look down at him, his blue eyes staring intently into mine. That's when we all start laughing, and by all I mean everybody. Well everybody except for Tony.

"Come on guys! Ugh! We just lost this round! This sucks!" He yells we honestly can't stop; I end up lying on him again because of how hard I'm laughing.

"Relax Tony, it's all good fun." Alli, his wife, yells out. I continue to lie there laughing.

"Not when it's my family." Tony grumbles.

"Take a look, they're all laughing." And it was true we were all still in pain laughing.

"Buuttt we lost." I look around by now everyone has shifted they're attention to Tony and Alli.

"Just knock it off! So you're out! You can go help with the kids; poor Lizzy and Mary, pregnant and having to take care of all those kids." The laughter has died down slightly; we're mostly intent on see how this scene plays out.

"Oooorrr, you can just join my team bro. We're short a person anyways, we were gonna take someone from the first team out too. So we could actually compete," yells Bobby.

"I'll go with that, sorry Alli." Tony says, taking off towards his brother. I roll my eyes.

"I'll help Lizzy and Mary with the kids." Rick offers from the ice. I sit up and pull him with me.

"You sure? They're a handful?" I ask.

"You can help too Katie." My Dad says, I stand.

"But Dad!" I whine, "I already have a kid to watch and he's on the ice!"

"Hey!" Rick defends, finally standing.

"Doesn't matter, you're going to help him and those two pregnant girls. Don't you remember how hard it was that one year when it was you?" I glare at my Dad.

"Fine." I say walking and in turn slipping yet again, but this time Rick catches me.

"Careful there Dove." I smile and he sets me straight we walk to the bench carefully taking the tape off our shoes. We start towards the house again and I melt into his side.

"Dove?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoot it down, I can take it." He says, wrapping and arm tightly around my shoulders. I beam at the thought of him holding me close.

"Actually, I kind of like it. It's cute." I say.

"Then, dove we shall keep it." He grins, I roll me eyes.

"Just don't overuse it." I say as we keep walking just enjoying each other.

"Do you think your family likes me?"

"Rick they love you." I answer.

"But I messed up roll call by waiting to long."

"That actually just proves my point. If they don't like the newbies, they wait till the end to have them introduce themselves." I answer, "Though I think they just loved Alexis so much and they didn't want you to feel bad." I tease.

"Yeah or maybe it's because I like peanut butter and Katie sandwiches so much." He fires back.

"Yeah well, peanut butter and Rick sandwiches aren't half bad either." I gnaw on my lip, it was gonna be hard to let him go when we got inside, but with Ella and Alexis, I suddenly stop and look up at him.

"Kate, what's wrong?" He asks, concerned.

"I think we should tell the kids about us." He turns to stand face to face with me.

"What?"

"The kids, god Rick! You have no idea how much I just want to hold your hand or give you a hug or give you a quick kiss before we leave but I can't because we haven't told the kids and kissing isn't exactly something you do with friends and I just think they should know. Like we should sit them down and talk to them, tell them no matter what happens between us we'll always love them to the ends of the earth even if this," I motion between us, "Doesn't work out. Tell them it won't be like what happened with Will or Meredith that it'll be so, so different. That we would never abandon them, we'll answer their questions and explain to them everything. Tell them that we care about each other, it's inevitable Rick! How're we supposed to be a couple without telling our kids remember this isn't just us and I think we should tell them! God, now I'm prattling!" I say, I place my head in my hands. I look up to see him grinning.

"I want to tell them too."

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**A/N: What did you think?**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So it has literally been forever since I've updated. Like two weeks, maybe three? Once again I blame school and I have no doubt that Josh Davidson had something to do with it. The premiere was perfect and actually in my waiting haste I got a lot of writing done, other than that this chapter was mostly written at two in the morning. Sorry for any errors, hope you guys enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Castle they would have done that four years ago.**

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"Alright boys." I say walking into the precinct with a small bounce in my step. "What do we got?"

"Well aren't you in a good mood? What'd Ella do today? Draw you a picture?" Ryan asks, genuinely curious about Ella's activities.

"Yeah right! We all know a guy's got the boss smiling." Esposito taunts, I roll my eyes but can't wipe the stupid grin of my face.

"Shut up, have you interrogated Waters yet?" I ask, shuffling some paperwork.

"Nu-uh Beckett, we're not gonna knock this off." Espo crosses his arms and leans against his desk.

"You realize she's gonna get pissed right?" Ryan says to his partner who just shrugs. Ryan shakes his head and then turns back to me. "I tried, anyways; Waters is waiting in interrogation 1. Waiting for you." Javi smacks Ry lightly and scoffs.

"Don't tell her that bro. You're supposed to tease her about *Rick*." He mocks, Kevin walks away shaking his head saying I warned you.

"What will it take for you to stop?" I ask him, still smiling.

"You doing my paperwork for a week." I glare at him; he just can't take me seriously because my face splits into a huge grin. I lay a plan out in my head. I look up at him and continue to grin.

"Tell you what?" I say and he stands up, thinking I'll actually agree to this. "You get back to work and drop the boyfriend taunts and I don't put you on desk duty."

"Okay boss, but uh, tell Rick if he hurts you we'll kill him." Javi says, smiling and then walking away.

"Hey Esposito?" I say, averting my eyes to the paperwork.

"Why don't you and Ryan take point on this interrogation? I need to go and talk to Lanie." I say, looking up at him. He grins and nods.

"Sure Beckett, I love making those low lifes squirm." He walks over to Ryan and pulls him out of his chair. I spin around and head to the elevator. I wait what feels like forever but takes only about five minutes, but the elevator finally gets down to the morgue. I skip off and rush to find Lanie. I bump into Perlmutter who just stares at me.

"Morning Detective, how's everything?" He asks.

"Just dandy. Could you tell me where Dr. Parish is?" I ask, he points in the direction of her office.

"Knock twice, state your name, and offer to help with paperwork." He says, I nod and speed walk to the office. Outside all I hear is come in. I step back slightly and then hesitantly enter.

"Kate you have been holding out on me!" Lanie exclaims.

"Not my fault, I've been busy with everything and you know." I reply and she just grins.

"Spill, I need a distraction from paperwork." I nod and start.

"He's perfect!" Honestly you can't get more perfect than he has! He is so sweet and our relationship is perfect! He's always texting me sweet little things in the morning and calling me to say goodnight and oh he's just wonderful." I collapse into a chair in front of her desk.

"That's great sweetie, what does he say?"

"'Good morning dove' or 'good morning beautiful' or my favourite 'good morning there's coffee on the way'. We're telling the kids." I inform her.

"You are?" She asks, abandoning her pen and ditching the paperwork completely for our conversation.

"Yup."

"How?"

"Well we're going to sit them down and explain to them that they will be loved no matter what and it won't be like before and we just want them to be happy." I answer and Lanie's smile disappears.

"And if they're not okay with that?"

"Then we go back to how it was before with all these bottled up feelings and never being able to act on them." I answer falling back into the chair.

"So tonight could go incredibly well." She says.

"Or it could be the end." I whisper.

The rest of the day was spent gnawing on my bottom lip thinking about tonight and trying to hunt down a murderer. It was a simple Jack shot Jill over Bill and I was out by quarter past six.

Ella gave me an odd look when I walked in the door. She does so until Danni leaves and then attacks me.

"Nice to see you to Ella." I swing her up onto my hip and she grins.

"Love you Mama." She answers, hugging me.

"Love you too baby." I walk with her into my room and set her on her feet on the bed. She starts to jump and I smile watching her.

"Watcha doin?" She asks.

"Making sure I look good."

"You do, let's go!" She squeals, giving me enough notice that she's going to jump to catch her.

"Come on monkey, let's go." I walk with her to the door then set her down for a minute, I put my gun and badge in the safe, running quickly back to her. "Sorry Duckie we shall go now." I say taking her hand. She hesitates and reaches up instead. I lift her to rest comfortably on my hip.

"Mama you," she yawns, "talk funny." She rests her head on my shoulder.

"Hey, no! No! You're not allowed to fall asleep! Wake up!" I squeal bouncing her a bit to wake her up.

"But I'm sleepy." She complains, I roll my eyes and walk down to the car, letting the argument end there. No point in arguing with a tired temper-tantrum prone three year old. I buckle her into the car seat and she she's already fallen asleep. Perfect, today was going exactly as planned.

"I'm sorry she fell asleep! What was I supposed to do, wake her up?" I ask, looking into Rick's eyes. Ella had woken up about fifteen minutes ago and we were in the process of preparing dinner, but of course like any other child practically attached to their mother's side she just wanted to be near me. Placing a rather large dent in the plan, delaying the time further. She'd scrambled away about five minutes ago and she and Alexis never looked back.

"Yes!" He exclaims. I roll my eyes.

"Rick c'mon it's been hard these past few days, I'm tired and stressed because of work. She can tell so she gets tired and stressed because I am and then you've got a fussy, whiney toddler running around with a frustrated mother. It's not a good mix." I move closer to him and stare into his eyes.

"I know Kate, it's just. I'm freaked out that they won't approve." He says and I nod.

"I know how you feel." I whisper, he pulls me close.

"We'll make it through tonight." He says.

"Hopefully," I stifle a laugh.

"Well if not, we'll be very Romeo and Juliet." He admits and I laugh.

"Will we writer boy?" I ask. "Doesn't that mean we both die?"

"Bonnie and Clyde?"

"Oh, Sonny and Cher." I joke moving closer to him.

"Mr. & Mrs. Smith." He raises his eyebrows suggestively and I laugh.

"The Clauses." I tease.

"I'm not that old!" He defends. He furrows his brow and then his features rearrange into a look of epiphany. "Ryan and Esposito."

"What?" I ask.

"They're such a cute couple." He states as if it's obvious. I throw my head back laughing and wrap my arms around his neck and continue to laugh. He snakes his arms around my waist and we're extremely close together. I shake my head after we're finished laughing and rest it on his shoulder.

"I love you." I whisper quietly, I suddenly stiffen at what I've said and his eyes go wide.

"Kateee," he whines. "I wanted to say it first." He lifts me and spins me around. "But I love you too." He squeezes me close to him and I laugh, instantly relaxing as he utters the words back to me.

"We should call the kids to diner and then, right after we tell them?" I ask more than say.

"Abso-franni-lutely." I cock an eyebrow and look up at him. "Sorry Ella and I spent like two hours watching Franny's Feet one night while you helped Alexis with her homework."

"Yeah well, it's just weird. Don't say that again." I tease.

"You gotter otter." He jokes back.

"Oh god," I say to him then turn towards the stairs. "Kids dinner." I say walking over to meet them at the bottom.

"You nervous?" He asks.

"Yes," I reply. The two were patiently waiting on the couch and Rick and I were just standing there watching them talk and keep themselves amused. I look up at him; he looks down at me and smiles. He takes my hand and leads me over to the kids, because it's like a second-nature I drop his hand once we're in their eye line. Rick sits on the coffee table and I sit next to him. He looks both kids in the eyes and gives them a smile. "We've got news." He says, hesitantly. I swallow hard. Alexis gets teary-eyed and as an immediate response I reach and she pounces for me. I pull her in my lap and hold her close. She starts crying and I tighten my grip on her. Ella doesn't exactly realize what's going on so she starts crying because Alexis is. Rick takes her and slowly we rock them.

"Lex, what's up? We haven't even told you anything yet Rosebud." I ask.

"Daddy does this when he tells me Mommy isn't coming anymore or she already left. He acts weird and then he says I've got news and I don't want you to go Kate!" She sobs. It breaks my heart and Ella realizes what's going on…sort of.

"No! No! No! No! No! No!" She screams. I continue to rock Alexis and Ella demands Rick doesn't leave.

"But Alexis, honey, we were going to tell you something good." I whisper in her ear, she looks up at me when I say that.

"You were?" I nod. "Oh. I guess I should go sit on the couch so you can see both of us." She says, exceedingly smart for her age.

"You don't have to; this right here is great too." I say, she nuzzles closer but eventually sighs and climbs over to the couch. I look at Rick still trying to calm the three year old down.

"Ella-shmella it's okay, shh. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you." He says as he holds her close. Her arms are deadlocked around his neck and she stands in his lap, head on his shoulder.

"You're not?" She asks.

"Nope, sorry but you're stuck with me." He says to her. She pulls back, pensiveness written all over her face.

"Yay!" She screams, she turns and see's Alexis sitting on the couch so she bounces over to sit next to her.

"Okay now, Alexis, Ella. You know that we love you both so very much," Rick says.

"And we'll never ever leave you." I interrupt.

"But Kate and I, we kind of like each other." He finishes. I turn my head and stare at him with my head cocked slightly to the side.

"The way you liked Mommy?" Alexis asks.

"And Daddy?" Ella pipes up from next to her.

"Yes, it's more than a like-like though." Rick says taking my hand, I squeeze his.

"Does she like you to?" Alexis asks, genuinely curious.

"Yes I do Alexis, so much." I say, reaching out to take her hand.

"Do you guys love each other?" She asks; if it weren't for her genuine curiosity and our earlier confessions I'd probably find some way to avoid this question.

"Yes we do pumpkin." He says, squeezing my hand.

"More than you loved Mommy?" She asks. He looks at me and smiles.

"I love Kate with all my heart." I smile and look away from him.

"I love you with all my heart too." I sneak a glance at him and grin.

"Aw!" Alexis squeals. "You promise you won't leave?" She asks turning to me.

"Super, duper, genuine promise." Alexis's smile seems to grow bigger at that.

"Then I'm awesome with it!" She says jumping to me. I wrap my arms around her and she squeezes me tightly. She sits back a bit and I look over at Ella who looks a bit sad.

"Ella what do you think about all of this?" I ask and she juts out her lip.

"Don't want them to leave." She says and her lip quivers. I feel worry wash over me and Rick pats my knee. 'I got this,' he mouths. He reaches over and pulls Ella into his lap.

"Ella-shmella I just told you, you're never going to get rid of me." He says.

"Daddy left." She stutters.

"I won't, Alexis won't, and Mommy won't. I absolutely promise you that! We will never ever let you go." He says giving he a tight squeeze in which she giggles at.

"Okay!" Ella smiles; he wipes away the tears from her face then gives her a squeeze. "That tickles." She giggles squirming away.

"It does?" He asks. "We'll then the tickle monster must be doing his job right." He begins to tickle Ella and Alexis and I watch in amusement.

"Help!" Ella squeals, attempting to squirm away. Alexis hops off my lap and moves towards them.

"I'll save you Ella." She announces, Rick stands and tickles her while he walks away from Alexis who eventually catches up. She's reading up for Ella and eventually grabs her foot. "Don't worry, I've got you Ella!"

"Kate! Help me!" Rick yells and I laugh, standing to help him. I walk in and snatch Alexis up tickling her as well.

"Kate!" She shrieks between fits of giggles. "Can't breathe." She says, I drop down onto the couch with her in my lap and she gasps for air. She settles against my side and Rick swings Ella through the air. I wrap my arm around her and she sighs.

"Be careful Rick! Don't swing her into a picture of something." I yell. He nods and continues to swing her. "Men." I mutter under my breath and roll my eyes.

"Kate?" Alexis asks, drawing my attention from the man swinging my daughter around.

"Yeah Rosebud?"

"I'm glad you and Daddy are dating." She says.

"Me too sweetheart." I admit.

"Does this mean—" She trails off and bites her lip.

"Rosebud, what is it? You know you can tell me." I say.

"Does this mean you'll get married?" She asks.

"I don't know, maybe." I answer honestly. Not that I hadn't thought about it in fact someday I'd love it, but had he thought about it?

"But if you got married then you'd be my Mommy and everything." She says animatedly. I open my mouth to reply with something but the phone rings as a welcome distraction.

"I should go answer that." I smile at her and stand. "I'll get it Rick." I say to the man child who was now tossing my daughter up in the air as Alexis ran to hang off his leg. I pick up the phone and laugh lightly.

"Hello, Castle residence. May I ask who's speaking?" I say curtly into the phone.

"Jesus and who are you?" The woman on the other end demands.

"I'm Kate, a friend of the family. Who is this?" I say.

"Oh you're Kate? My apologies. I'm Gina, Rick's publisher. I'm sorry I thought you were some bimbo. He was fond of them after he and Meredith divorced. Is he around by any chance?" She says all at once.

"I'll go and find him. He can't be too far." I set the phone on the counter and sneak up behind them. He's still tossing Ella and Alexis is still on his leg while he takes small steps in between tosses. I stand up on my tippy toes lean in close to his ear.

"Someone is on the phone for you!" I say, loud enough to startle him, but to keep the kids in tow.

"My oh my Katherine, you scared me. Who is it?"

"Your publisher." I answer; he groans and tosses his head back.

"I don't want to talk to her now. Can you make up an excuse for me? Please? I'll talk to her tomorrow, promise." He pleads. I sigh and walk back to the counter.

"Thank you I love you!" He calls.

"Love you too." I answer quietly so that he can hear me but Gina can't.

"He's fallen asleep writing can I leave a message?" I ask.

"No that's fine. I'll call back tomorrow." The line goes dead and I look at it.

"That was odd." As I go to set the phone back down it rings and I answer it again.

"Castle residence, may I ask who's speaking?" I answer yet again.

"Hi this is Gina Cowell, who's this?" A completely different voice answers.

"Gina? This is Kate we just spoke." I say hesitantly.

"Kate? As in Ella's Mom Kate?"

"Yes you just called a few minutes ago." I reply, concern lacing my voice.

"I hate to tell you this Kate but, that wasn't me who called."

"What?" I exclaim. I take in a deep breath and shake my head.

"Who else would've called, you are his publisher aren't you? Does he know another Gina?" I ask frantically. I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump at the touch.  
"Everything okay Kate?"  
"The person that called like five minutes ago? Yeah it wasn't Gina." I answer.

"How do you know that?" He spins me around and looks me in the eyes.

"I'm talking to Gina now." I reply, he takes the phone from me and motions to the kids. They're sitting there watching us. They seem a little worried because we seem a little worried. I walk over and sit between them on the couch; they scramble into my lap and look at me.

"Is everything okay?" Alexis asks.  
"Yeah, everything's fine." I say.

"You and Daddy seem worried." Ella nods her head along with what Alexis says.  
"Daddy has some book things he needs to take care of and he's just worried he won't get it done in time. I feel the couch sag a bit where my back is and turn to see him leaning there.  
"I will to get it done. Speaking of which, Kate can you help me with something in my office?" He asks.  
"Yeah of course," I nod and he starts walking to the small room. "Girls why don't you go upstairs and play?" I say. They give each other strange looks and nod. They run up the stairs and I follow Rick to the study.

"Kate this is bad." He says when I get in there.

"What's bad?" I say, sitting in his chair as he paces the length of the room.

"There was this rabid fangirl that sorta stalked me at my book signings, one day she tried talking to Alexis so I got her ban from all of them. She never bothered us again. I think that might've been her." He rambles.  
"Rick that's worst case scenario, it could just be a prank call. Regardless though I'm going to run your phone records tomorrow, see who called. Make sure they can't call again. Anyways why would she be angry if she knew you were here and she had the right number?" I ask relaxing in the chair.

"I love you, she heard me say I love you!" He says, I sit up straight.  
"I'll call for the records now." I say standing and taking my phone from my pocket. I dial the familiar number and wait for someone to pick up.  
"Detective Kate Beckett's desk, this is Detective Ryan, how may I help you?" I smile when Ryan answers; lord knows Esposito would give me hell for being a jealous girlfriend.  
"Hey Ry, can you do me a favour?" I ask and he's silent.  
"Sure, what's up?"  
"A blocked number called Rick's place about fifteen minutes ago and I answered, he's worried it might be some rabid fangirl. Could you run it and check who it belongs to?" I ask.

"Sure thing boss, what's the number?" He asks.

"646-555-0175, thanks Ryan." I say.

"No problem Kate and don't worry Esposito won't hear a word." He hangs up and I laugh.

"What?"

"Nothing." I answer.  
"Ryan answer?" He asks, pulling me close.

"Yeah he should have the phone records soon." Rick nods.

"He promised to keep this a secret from Esposito, didn't he?" Castle asks, laughing.

"How did you know?"

"Two things, first; He's totally the woman in their relationship." I laugh and he places his hands on my hips. "Second; your phone's volume is up a little too loud." He laughs and walks away.

"Richard Castle you are such a cheater!"

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**A/N: So what did you think? Is it too fast or too slow? Should I have put off the ILYs till a later chapter? Let me know.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I'm a terrible person. I'm sorry, I had writers block and I had to do some stupid book report on some stupid book. Actually it was a really good book but that's beside the point.**

**Disclaimer: I couldn't have imagined the perfectness of Murder, He Wrote nor the heartbreak of Probable Cause**

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I wake up to a gentle shake of my shoulder. "Kate? Kate honey. It's morning." Rick says, kissing my forehead.

"What?" I ask sitting up. I rub the sleep from my eyes and look around. "What are you doing in my apartment?" He laughs at me.

"Kate you fell asleep at the loft last night, waiting for Ryan to call you back." He says sitting on the edge of my bed.

"How did I get in your bed?" I ask looking around at the silk sheets.

"I carried you." He says. "You changed into a pair of my sweat pants and a hoodie after the girls fell asleep like half-an-hour after you called Ryan. You and I watched a movie you fell asleep I carried you here. That dove is how you got in my bed." He smiles at me and I stumble out of his sheets searching for my actual pants.

"Kate they're on the dresser, folded with you shirt." He motions towards the dresser and I run to it.

"What time is it?" I ask grabbing my clothes.

"Uh, noon." He says, looking at his alarm clock.

"What? Rick I am extremely late for work!" I rush past him carrying my clothes.

"Kate where are you going?" He asks following me.

"To grab Ella, my keys and my shoes, I've got to get to work." I say, looking for my daughter.

"Still asleep. Alexis is up though," I turn and see the redhead staring at me.

"Hey rosebud, sleep well?" I ask casually.

"Yup! Why are you going to work? Detective Ryan said you had the day off." She asks and I look at her.

"What?" I ask, turning to see Rick smiling.

"I got Alexis to sweet talk Ryan into covering for you and getting you the day off, told you he was the woman." Rick winks at me and I laugh.

"Well then I will go put these back and join you guys out here." I say to them smiling.

"Scooby-doo's on! We can watch it together!" Alexis exclaims.

"Awesome!" I concede smiling. "I'll be right back."

"Wait! Wait! Shh, do you guys hear that?" Rick says, he grabs the remote and mutes the TV.

"Daddy, Kate and I were watching that!" Alexis complains looking at the TV with High School Musical paused.

"Yeah Rick, I wanna hear Troy." I kick him playfully from where Alexis and I lie on the couch.

"Shh!" I roll my eyes and everyone's silent. We listen for a second and hear a soft wail from upstairs.

"Ella's awake." I say, moving to get up.

"I can get her." Rick offers, I smile sweetly at him.

"As much as I'd love that she has no clue where she is and is probably still half asleep. She'll be really confused if it's not me who goes to get her." I answer.

"Okay then pass me the red-headed child." He teases, I sit up and pass him Alexis, throwing her yet never letting her go. I swing my legs off the couch and stand up; quickly I approach the stairs and follow the crying to the guest room. I slowly open the door and see her sitting there bawling.

"Oh baby." I say slightly running to the bed, I climb on it and she crawls to me.

"Mama!" She wails. I rock her and move to the head of the bed.

"Shh sweat pea, its okay." I smooth her hair down. "Baby everything's all right, shh. Oh honey, its okay." I coo.

"Wh—ere is Lexis and—and Castle—they can't go!" She cries into my shoulder.

"They're downstairs." I say holding her close to me.

"We go downstairs?" She looks up at me, still hiccupping.

"If I can get a smile." I say, she kneels on my lap and sets her hands on my shoulders, still hiccupping back her tears. She juts out her lip and widens her eyes.

"Pwease Mama." She says, I laugh at the very Rick like expression.

"Of course." I sit her on the bed so I can climb off and she jumps into my arms. I swipe at the tears still on her face. She relaxes against me and I walk down the stairs. "Look whose up." I say bouncing the girl.

"Hey look its Ella-shmella." Rick says, Ella squirms around until I finally pass her off to him.

"Hi!" She grins.

"Kate, I'm hungry." Alexis says, leaning on the back of the couch.

"Me too." I reply.

"What's for breakfast?" She asks still leaning over the couch.

"Careful or you're gonna fall!" I say walking over and pulling her up over the back. She lets out a loud giggle.

"Kate!" She says, laughing. She twists in my arms so that she's staring into my eyes and puts a hand on either side of my face. "Seriously though, what's for breakfast?"

"Hmm? Pancakes?" I ask, she thinks it over and smiles.

"Blueberry pancakes!" She exclaims and I laugh.

"Blueberry pancakes it is." I say spinning around. "Would you help me?" I ask her she grins and nods. "Ella?"

"No, I wanna watch cartoons." She states.

"Here Kate I'll make them with Alexis." He says moving to get up.

"No! Stay and watch cartoons!" Ella demands.

"And the three year old has spoken." I say, spinning with Alexis and heading to the kitchen.

"Do you know where everything is?" He asks as I set Alexis on the counter and start washing my hands.

"Of course I know where everything is." I say drying my hands off and looking at Alexis. "Wash your hands and I'll get the blueberries and the pancake mix." I turn around and start looking at the cupboards. "Uh, Rick?"

"Second cupboard on the right." He answers; I turn and smile at him.

"Thank you." I open the cupboard and look around for them. "Rick it's not in the cupboard."

"You sure?" He asks from the couch.

"Absolutely positive." I reply dryly.

"We must be out." He replies, I sigh and walk over to Alexis.

"Looks like we're out of pancake mix." I say and she bites her lip.

"Oh." She says, I smile at her and turn to Rick, still lying lazily on the couch with Ella in his arms. I walk over and lean on the back of the couch; I look down at them and smile.

"Rick, where's the nearest grocery store?" I ask.

"About fifteen blocks away, why?" He asks, looking up into my eyes.

"Damn, that's far. I was just going to go get some more pancake mix; I guess I could just drive. Where is it?" I ask.

"Uh, fifteen blocks east of here." He says, eyes never leaving the screen.

"Yes because I'm totally sure where north, south, east and west are." I roll my eyes and he looks at me and then back at the TV.

"Just take my car, there's a GPS in there, it's programmed in already." I sigh and shake my head.

"I can take my own car if you just tell me where it is." I complain.

"Kate can I come?" Alexis asks running up and leaning against my side.

"See now it's just too much work taking Alexis's car seat out if my car and putting it in yours." He responds and looks at me again. "Keys are in the dish by the door." I groan.

"Alright Alexis, go get your boots on." I say, sighing walking over to the door.

"Shouldn't we go get dressed?" She asks following me.

"Uh—sure, I guess. If you want." I reply.

"Are you going to get dressed?" She asks.

"No, I think I'll just go in my jammies." I respond and she cocks her head tithe side and grins.

"I'm wearing my jammies then to." She runs over and pulls on her boots.

"You've never been to the store in your jammies?" I ask, taking her coat and my own out of the closet. I quickly pull mine on and wait for her response.

"No, Daddy and I go to the store after I'm done school and Mommy says you can't go anywhere when you're not dressed." She answers when I help her into her coat. I silently nod and slip into my boots as well. I grab the keys and swing Alexis up into my arms.

"Well I hate getting dressed to go to the store I'd much rather hang out in my jammies." I say, spinning around, she giggles.

"Okay, okay, let's go. I'm starving." She squeals, I laugh and grin at her.

"Alright Rick, I'll be back soon enough, please keep out of trouble till we get back. Got it?" I ask, standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, sure. Bye Kate, bye Alexis, love you." He calls out.

"Bye Daddy." Alexis yells, I turn around and walk out the door, closing it as I go. I walk to the elevator with Alexis on my hip in a comfortable silence.

"Kate do you watch Dancing With The Stars?" Alexis asks, I look at her confused and answer, stepping into the already waiting elevator.

"No, why?"

"Daddy watches it all the time! Like he sits there and watches it when it's on and he'll watch the same episode again the next day." She sighs and shakes her head and I can't help but laugh loudly.

"Your Dad is something else." I respond and Alexis nods.

"Can you and Ella come over when it's on and play with me?" Alexis asks excitedly.

"Well sure but I think Ella might just watch it to." I say and she laughs.

"Kate your funny." I step off the elevator and into the parking garage. I pause and stare out at the rows of cars. "That way Kate," Alexis points in a direction and I follow it.

"You sure?" I ask, going that way anyways.

"Positive." She nods; I don't walk for too long when Alexis laughs. "You passed it."

"Oh," I turn and walk two cars back and she nods.

"This one." I set her on her feet and she scampers to her side of the car, waiting for me to unlock it. I push the button twice and she opens the door, carefully and climbs in. I walk around to her side and look at her, sitting on the seat without a car seat.

"He tricked me didn't he?" I say and Alexis nods.

"I thought he was going crazy there for a second, but then realized he was just trying to get you to use the car so he wouldn't have to give direction. Daddy's lazy." She states and I laugh.

"That he is Rosebud that he is." I close her door and walk around to my side of the car and hop in. "Ready to go?" She nods. "Is your seatbelt on?"

"Yup," she nods vigorously and I start the car quickly turning on the heat. I look around trying to find the GPS and then see it sitting on the passenger's seat. I pick it up and fiddle around with it for a while until I finally get it where I want it to be.

It takes almost half an hour before we finally get to the grocery store. Mostly because I messed half of the turns, Rick didn't say it was a block west, two blocks north and thirteen blocks east. Yeah he was great at giving directions. We were almost ready to go when Alexis pulls on my shirt. "Gummy worms." She whispers astonished. "Can we get some?"

"I don't see why not." I grab a tub of them and put them in the basket.

"Okay, you ready to go?" I ask her taking her hand and walking to the checkout.

"Yeah! I'm starving," Alexis says, pulling me to the nearest cashier. "Do you think Daddy and Ella are okay?" She asks.

"Why wouldn't they be?" I ask as the only open cashier moves slower than ever. Wasn't it afternoon?

"Because when you're away from someone you love your heart hurts, and Daddy and Ella love us so I want to know if they're alright." She replies and I can't help my Cheshire grin that overwhelms my face.

"Well rosebud, when you're away from somebody you love, you miss them, but when you're with someone else you love a whole lot it's like the pain isn't even there." I explain and she nods.

"Makes sense." Alexis nods.

"I'm glad it does, not let's hurry up before your Dad and Ella start cooking." I joke and Alexis laughs.

"Daddy's usually a good cook but when people try to help things get burned." Alexis nods and laughs. I shake my head as we pay for the items. "Can I go look at the bulletin board?" Alexis looks up at me for approval. The board wasn't too far but it was behind me. I nod, moving to speak, and she takes off running.

"Just be careful and if anyone talks to you, you come running back or scream, Alexis!" I call out she waves a hand but keeps running. I continuously look over my shoulder and the cashier laughs.

"Cute kid." She says and I smile.

"Thanks," I respond and she looks up at me.

"Is she your only one?"

"No, I have got two more at home. Granted one's a 'grown man', but still." I joke and she laughs.

"Men are funny that way. That is everything, have a nice day." The woman says.

"Thanks, you too." I reply and grab my bags and walk over to Alexis.

"Can we go home now?" I laugh and nod.

"Yes we can go home." I say and she laughs to.

"Kate?" Someone calls I spin around and see Ryan running up to us.

"Ry? What're you doing in this neck of the woods?" I ask and feel Alexis move to his behind me.

"I was at a friend's house, you?" He asks.

"Rick's place, speaking of Rick, this is his daughter Alexis. Alexis this is Detective Ryan, you talked to him on the phone." I say and she peeks her head out from behind me.

"Enchanté." Ryan says holding out his hand. Alexis laughs and shakes it.

"Is that even English?" She asks.

"I haven't got a clue." He admits and I laugh at them.

"Doesn't Esposito live on the other side of town?" I ask and Alexis tilts her head.

"Who's Esposyto?" Alexis asks, trying a few times to get the pronunciation right. "Can I just call him Espo?" She asks with an exaggerated sigh.

"I do, all the time." I reply with a laugh. "He's Ryan's partner."

"I thought you were his partner." Alexis says.

"I am." I reply.

"Is Espo your partner too?" She asks astounded.

"Yeah he is." I answer with a chuckle.

"So you have two partners?"

"Yup," I reply nodding my head.

"Why?"

"Because we're a team." I reply and Alexis nods her approval.

"Back to your question, I do have other friends than Esposito you know." He says.

"You do?" I tease.

"Ha ha Beckett, last time I checked you were too sick to get out of bed." He threatens.

"Hmmm, aren't you on duty today Ryan?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"I—uh—it's, you needed someone to watch Ella." He mumbles.

"Mmhmm, I'll see you got something out of it to." I reply, Alexis laughing silently next to us.

"What's up Red?" Ryan asks and Alexis shrugs.

"You guys are funny."

"Well thanks Rosebud." I say squeezing her hand.

"Speaking of Ella, where is the three-year-old?" Ry asks looking around.

"At home with Daddy." Alexis responds.

"Speaking of, we should get home before he makes s'morelettes." I say and Alexis makes a face, I laugh and turn to Ryan.

"I'll see you at work Kate."

"Bye Ryan." I say as we walk out.

"Think he'll actually make s'morelettes?" Alexis asks.

"We should hurry home."

"I will forever be astounded at the way my child can get syrup everywhere. I didn't know it was even possible." I joke collapsing on the couch.

"I didn't know three-year-olds sleep so much!" Rick says sitting up staring me in the eye. "She slept for like eleven hours last night and then falls asleep again watching TV with me."

"Yeah well, at least she kept you from trying to cook s'morelettes." I tease stretching out on the couch. He wraps his arms around me and holds me closely.

"No worries, I won't ever make those again. Can you say nasty?"

"Nasty." I deadpan looking him in the eyes.

"Smartass." I roll my eyes and cuddle into his embrace more.

"What'd Ryan say when he called you this morning?" I ask.

"It was a fan; she was pretty upset that we were together. Or at least that's what she told Ryan when he interrogated her this morning." Rick admits and I laugh.

"He's such an overprotective woman." I joke and he laughs along.

"Well he scared her enough into leaving me alone so all hail Queen Ryan." He jokes and I burst out laughing.

"Speaking of Ryan we ran into him at the grocery store." I say.

"Isn't he supposed to be working?"

"Yeah turns out he was more than happy to take care of Ella while I was in bed sick today. I'm unable to get up." I laugh and so does he.

"Well he is a much better babysitter than Esposito." Rick teases and I nod.

"Least he can get the kid to sleep!" I giggle.

"Mmm, you smell like cherries." He comments.

"Mmm, you're a creep."

"I love you."

"I love you too." I place a gentle kiss to his lips and he smiles.

"When do you go back to work?"

"Day after tomorrow, hopefully it's enough time for me to recover from my horrible illness." I put a hand against my forehead dramatically.

"You're something else."

"I know." I laugh.

"What should we do today?" He asks, squeezing my middle.

"I like this right here." I say kissing him yet again.

"Mm, me too."

"Daddy, the phone's ringing!" Alexis yells from the top step.

"It is?" I ask and we hear it ring.

"I guess we were so absorbed in each other I didn't hear it. But I'll go get it, wait here dove." He moves from the couch and I slump against the back and listen to his side of the conversation. "Castle Clan." He answers and I laugh. "Aww c'mon Gina do I have to? I'm busy that day, big plans." I hear mumbling on the phone. "What are they? I'm going away that weekend." A faint yell. "No I can't cancel, because it's the only weekend Kate has off for like three months." I spin around at the sound of my name and he's staring at me. I glare at him and spin hack around. "The Hamptons." It's not even quiet for a moment when he replies to the voice on the phone. "Okay, you will. Bye Gina." He walks, all too cheerily, back over to the couch and I look at him. "Gina says 'hi.'" I glare at him.

"I am not going to continually be your excuse to get out of work." I say as he sits back down and I settle against him. "Besides you shouldn't lie, what moral are you teaching Alexis if you do?"

"Then come to the Hamptons." He whispers seductively in my ear.

"Rick be realistic."

"I am, you have next weekend off, Ella and Alexis would love it and this way I'm not lying." He places a feather light kiss to my cheek. "Go to the Hamptons." I swallow, hard.

"Okay." I say and give him a very passionate kiss.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think?**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Blame stupid freaking technology that this wasn't updated on Thursday! I went to go email this chapter to myself and then poof! All of it disappeared! So yeah uh sorry about that, but at least I wrote this faster than usual. School has slowed itself down caused the teachers are 'protesting' cause they can't strike or something like that. Anyways this chapter is rated T.**

**Disclaimer: Only on Halloween**

* * *

"The next one to say 'Are we there yet?' is going to," I pause for a moment and think. "Get it." My threat ends emptily because that's really the only way I can think to end it. I run a hand over my face and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Kate, darling, are we there yet?" Rick taunts, I groan and throw my head back.  
"You're driving!" I defend.  
"Honey c'mon put away the paperwork, its vacation." He looks at me and I sigh.  
"They're registration forms for Ella. She has to start kindergarten at some point." I go back to the papers that promise excellent programs and quality education while Ella goes off on a rant about how the 'big kids will get her'.  
"Hey did you know that in German kindergarten means—" he begins but I stop him mid-sentence.  
"Please Rick, I'm nervous enough already." I complain.  
"Don't worry Kate, I went through the same thing, we'll fill them out together later, okay?"  
"Thank you." I respond.  
"You can pay me back later." He murmurs and I roll my eyes.  
"Why doesn't Ella just go to my school?" Alexis shouts out.  
"Yeah," Ella exclaims. "Then no big kids get me." Rick takes one look at me and then looks in the rear view at the kids.  
"We'll discuss it Lex." He dismisses, he reaches across the console and holds my hand. "Kate c'mon, put it away." I nod and toss the papers in my bag and I lie back against the seat.  
"Castle we play in the snow?" Ella asks.  
"Can Ella, can we play in the snow," Rick corrects her.  
"Why do you want me to call you Can?" Alexis and I start laughing.  
"No Ella, its Castle can we play in the snow?" I say.  
"I-I don't get it." She replies, I turn in my seat and smile at her.  
"Don't worry about it sweetie, you'll figure it out eventually." She thinks about it and shrugs it off. Rick mumbles something under his breath, I look at him when I hear Ella's name. "You were incredibly right." He says louder.  
"About what, you see there are so many things." I tease, smiling and slightly biting my tongue.  
"You're funny, about being stressed about kindergarten." I furrow my eyebrows.  
"Didn't we just agree on that?"  
"Yeah but, I swear Ella just said she didn't want the big kids to eat her." Rick shakes his head and I laugh.  
"So Rick, we there yet?"

"We are never ever, ever, ever getting back together!" The television blares with muffled yells from little people. I follow the sound until I reach the living room, I smile at the two girls dancing and singing along to the music.  
"So he calls me up and he's like 'I still love you', and I'm like 'Uh this is exhausting you know, like we are never getting back together, like ever." Alexis imitates perfectly. I walk over to Rick who's holding a video camera filming the two girls.  
"Adorable much?" He asks grinning at me.  
"Much too much." I laugh lightly at them and the song draws to a close.  
"Daddy, can we listen to it again?" Alexis pleads walking over and looking up at us with her wide blue eyes.  
"Yeah," Ella exclaims leaning over the back of the couch, she starts tipping over the edge and I grab her right before she falls.  
"And this is why I say no leaning on the back of the couch." I scold.  
"We won't do it, but can we please listen to the song?" Alexis tries again.  
"I don't know it's getting kind of late." Rick begins.  
"Aren't you guys tired?" I ask.  
"No!" They both yell.  
"Alright, alright," Rick sighs. "Once more, if Kate dances with you guys."  
"Please Kate?" Alexis pleads, jutting out her bottom lip. I turn to Rick.  
"We'll I don't know about you, but I'm feeling twenty-two." I grin at Alexis who just gapes at me.  
"You're a closet Taylor Swift fan!" She shrieks, then runs and grabs my hand as her Dad restarts the song. Five minutes and a lot of never evers later and we're taking them up to bed. Rick with a half asleep Ella in his arms me with a sleepy, but putting up a strong fight Alexis. We stop outside of Alexis' room and I bend down and give her a hug.  
"Goodnight Rosebud." I say squeezing her tightly.  
"But can't you tuck me in?" Alexis complains I look over at Rick who shrugs and smiles. Ella was almost asleep and Alexis was using her baby blues again.  
"Sure thing Lex, say goodnight to your Dad and then go put your jammies on." Alexis runs from my side and wraps her arms around Rick's waist, hugging him and he passes me Ella and hugs her back.  
"Night Daddy."

"Night pumpkin," Alexis walks back into her room and I give Ella a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  
"Goodnight baby girl." I whisper, Ella nuzzles her head into my neck.  
"Night Mama." She responds in a half-asleep daze. I pass her back and smile at him.  
"Any pre-bedtime rituals?" I ask Rick looking up at him.  
"None, you?"  
"She like when you read to her." I shrug, Alexis opens the door of her bedroom and looks at us.  
"Kate, are you coming or what?" I laugh and follow her into her room, grinning down at her.

"But my kid hates math…I think. She will, especially when they start throwing letters into that pot. Thank god I became a cop!" I toss my head back and slide my hand down the front of my face.  
"Kate, dove, are you okay?" Rick asks coming around to the front of the couch and passing me a glass of wine.  
"I'm fine." I reply taking a rather large sip.  
"You're talking to yourself." He comments.  
"I usually do." I answer; I turn and see him giving me a strange look.  
"Kate do you hear voices?" He asks, I roll my eyes and throw a pillow at him.  
"Don't be mean, besides talking to yourself actually makes you smarter." I go back to the papers and he laughs.  
"Then you must be a genius." He mumbles under his breath.  
"I heard that." I look up at him and he smiles at me.  
"Did you pick a school?" He asks.  
"Not yet," I say leaning back. "They're all top notch schools, with thousands of successful scholars."  
"Yeah but you're missing one." He says, looking at all of the pamphlets.  
"I am?"  
"Yeah, Winston Prep." He comments, looking at me.  
"Rick I can't afford that." I state, gnawing on my bottom lip.  
"Don't worry about it." He shrugs and smiles at me while he drinks his wine.  
"I can't ask you to do that," I shake my head.  
"I'm offering, besides I know somebody on the scholarship board, a kid like Ella who speaks two languages? She'll be accepted in no time, with financial help if needed." He grins at me and I go back to the wine.  
"Three," I say before I start drinking.  
"Sorry?" He asks, looking oddly at me.  
"Ella speaks three languages." I respond, finishing off my glass.  
"How?"  
"Ages like one through five are the best time to teach them, I speak three and so does she." I answer.  
"Oh, makes sense." I pinch the bridge of my nose and can feel his eyes burning a hole in me. "Kate, come here for a second." He says out of nowhere, setting his wine glass on the table. I listen, for once, and climb into his arms. "I love you."  
"I love you too." I say wrapping my arms around his neck and just lying on his chest. I look up and see him staring at me. I pull myself up so that our lips aren't even an inch apart, so that we're breathing the same air, now I'm straddling him. I flip my hair to one side and kiss him passionately. I run my tongue along his bottom lip and he lets me in. Soon we're battling for domination. He runs his hands along my back and then pauses at the small off my back, which is exposed because my shirt was somehow pulled up when I began straddling him. I break off the kiss, gasping for air and his eyes are dark, filled with list and want, mine most likely look the same way. Its how I feel and I'd love to fulfill the certain edges that those emotions bring on, but the kids were right up stairs.  
"Shall we take this to a more private room?" He asks me drawing small circles on my back. I kiss him again, gently and softly this time.  
"The kids are going to be just down the hall." I begin hesitantly.  
"And?"  
"And what happens if one of them walks in because they had a nightmare or got woken up by us or just wanted to come and sleep in the same bed as us? I can't imagine how many years of therapy they'd have to go through." I look him in the eyes and place another soft kiss to his lips. "I'd just prefer our first time to be when we know no kids are going to walk in on us." I lean in close to his ear and grin. "So we can go all night long." I bite my bottom lip and lean back.  
"Tease," he accuses.  
"And I love every last moment of it." I lean down and gently bite his bottom lip and then kiss him again. Then I slide back down and lie on his chest, listening to his heart beat and my eyes start to droop.  
"Let's go to bed, love."  
"M'kay." I respond and he gets up off the couch and I still lay there. "Or maybe I'll just sleep here." I say not wanting to leave the extraordinarily comfy couch.  
"Or not." He lifts me up bridal style and carries me over to the stairs.  
"Rick, put me down, you're going to hurt yourself!" I shriek when he starts climbing the stairs.  
"Shh or you'll wake the kids!" He successfully shushes me and we reach the top of the stairs. I wrap my arms around his neck and almost fall asleep there. When we reach the master bedroom he sets me back on my feet. "I'm going to go use the bathroom." He excuses himself and I nod moving towards our bags sitting on the bed. I go to mine first and take out a tank top and throw it on the bed. I take one glance at my pajama pants and scrunch my nose up. I look at Rick's bag and pull it close to me. I open it up and see exactly what I'm looking for at the very top. I change quickly and he comes out of the bathroom. I walk passed him and he stops me and pulls me to him, so that my back is against his chest.  
"Katherine Beckett are those my sweat pants?" He hums in my ear.  
"Yeah and you're not getting them back." I respond, he laughs low in my ear.  
"Where have you been all my life?" I spin in his arms and give him a quick peck on the lips.  
"Twenty-two blocks away."

"Kate, Kate, wake up." A small voice calls out. I open my green orbs to see two puffy, red, blue eyes staring into mine.  
"Alexis, honey what wrong." I say propping myself up slightly.  
"C-can I s-sleep with y-you?" She stutters, I move back and pull the covers up. She climbs in and I wrap my arms around her.  
"What happened, Rosebud?"  
"I had a nightmare." She replies shakily.  
"It's okay, honey. It's all okay; no one can get you now. I promise." She snuggles closer to me and I smile.  
"Can you tell me a story?"  
"Any story?" I'm met with a simple mhm and think for a moment and then begin. "A new mother sat there rocking her newborn baby boy. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And as she rocked him she sang:

"I'll love you forever; I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.  
"Now that baby boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old and he pulled books off of shelves, threw food out of the fridge and he took his mothers watch and flushed it down the toilet! Sometimes the mother would yell 'This kid is driving me CRAZY!'  
"But at night, when it was quiet, she would open the door to his room, crawl across the floor and look over the side of his bed. And if he was really asleep she would pick up that two year old boy and rock him. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And as she rocked him she sang:  
"I'll love you forever; I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.  
"Well that two year old boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old and he never wanted to come in for dinner and he never wanted to take a bath and when Grandma visited he always said bad words. Sometimes his mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!" That elicited a soft giggle from the half asleep girl. "But at night, when it was quiet, she would open his door, crawl across the floor and peer over the side of his bed. And if he was really asleep she would pick up that nine year old boy and she would rock him. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And as she rocked him she sang:  
"I'll love you forever; I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be." I look down and know her breathings evened out and she's most likely asleep. I place a soft kiss to the top of her head and start to doze once again.  
"Kate?" The sleepy voice calls out.  
"Yes Rosebud?"  
"No matter how old I am will I always be your baby?" She asks quietly.  
"Always, Rosebud, always."

"Mama, Mama, wake up Mama. MAMA!" Ella screams, I shoot up in bed and quickly catch the girl just before she lands in my legs.  
"Ella, is everything okay? Was there a fire? On a scale of hugs to hospital how bad is it?" Ella starts laughing and gives me a hug.  
"Wanna come play in the snow?" She asks.  
"So hugs then?" I laugh; Rick comes barreling through the door.  
"There she is Satan's spawn, I thought I told you not to wake Mama up?" He asks coming in and reaching for Ella who just runs to hide behind my back giggling. She stands on her feet behind my back and wraps her arms around my neck placing her head on my shoulder.  
"I missed Mama and Lexis and I had a plan. It's my job!" Ella exclaims.  
"You two schemed?" He asks eyes going wide. "Kate we should start worrying." I laugh and nod. "Ella why don't you and Alexis find out what you want for breakfast? Mommy and I will be down in a minute." Ella nods and takes off for the stairs.  
"What's up Rick?" He sits down near the edge of the bed and I move so that I'm right next to him.  
"It's probably nothing—," He begins.  
"It's clearly not nothing, what happened?" I take his hand in mine and squeeze it tightly.  
"Last night, when I was putting Ella to bed she, she said something." He stops and I expect him to continue but be doesn't.  
"Oh god, it was something bad wasn't it. That child has a gift for saying the wrong things at the wrong time!" I continuously prattle until he stops me.  
"Kate she called me Dad." He blurts out.  
"Oh," I state because that's all I can think to say.  
"How do you feel about that?" He asks.  
"How do you feel about it?" I enquire still holding his hand.  
"In all honestly I didn't even realized what'd happened until I'd gotten downstairs, it had just felt like I had two daughters instead of just one and I loved that. Then I remembered and I didn't know how you'd feel about it so I started to worry." Now he's rambling and I grin.  
"You're more of a father than hers ever was." I say.  
"So you're not mad?" I start laughing.  
"Rick I'm relived, I thought it was something bad. Like something really bad, you scared me!" Now it's his turn to laugh.  
"What should scare you is our little girls plotting against us!" He exclaims, I grin.  
"I know it should scare me, but I think it's completely adorable." I laugh.  
"Almost as adorable as you and Alexis all snuggled up." He coos, I nod and grin about that, then realization hits me.  
"Rick they're downstairs alone!"  
"And?"  
"There's a kitchen and you told them to figure out breakfast!" We jump up two seconds to late and we hear a loud crash.

"Ready, aim, fire!" Rick yells from the other side of the back yard. I jump up from behind mine and Ella's fortress and fire a snowball. It hits Rick square in the jaw. We'd been playing out here for about three hours and my whole face was numb hopefully his was too or that would hurt. It turns out the girls hadn't broken anything major they just knocked a book off of a shelf. "Ow!" He yelps, throwing his head down.  
"Oh my god! Rick, are you okay?" I leap over the fort of snow and run to his side.  
"Daddy, does it hurt?" Alexis asks concerned.  
"Rick let me see!" I demand, he raises his head slowly and he's grinning.  
"Oh no," I start backing up and he nods.  
"Oh yes," he wraps and arm around my back so I can't go anywhere and smears snow all in my face.  
"Cold," I scream. "That is so cold, Rick!" I swat his arm.  
"Hey you did it first!" He laughs. "Ow!"  
"No hit Mama." Ella pouts.  
"That's the point of the game." He defends.  
"Don't hit Mama!" She yells and I sense a tantrum coming on.  
"Hey baby girl are you tired?" I ask her and she nods, running to me.  
"And cold," she pouts; I lift her up and give the two an apologetic look.  
"I think we should go have a nap." I say to Ella who just nods and I'm extremely thankful she doesn't put up a fight against it.  
"Okay, we'll be in soon anyways." Rick says smiling. I turn and walk quickly back to the house because both of us were freezing. Once we're inside I get her out of all her snow gear and then take mine off while she waits. After about five minutes she finally upstairs lying in bed and I'm turning to walk out the door.  
"Mama?" She calls out to me.  
"Yeah sweetie?"  
"Wanna come lay with me?" She asks and I can't say no to her big green eyes so I go and lie down with her. The second I lay on the mattress she pretty much climbs on top of me and stars to doze. I watch her sleep for a while and notice I'm starting to fall asleep too. I smile at her sleeping form and shift so that we're on our side and I pull her close to me, thinking I could go for a nap too. I close my eyes and my mind wanders to the last time Ella and I were lying like this. It would've bed the day we'd met Rick and Alexis. We've come so far since then, making our small dysfunctional families fit together to make a better one. I wasn't putting walls up around us anymore, I let people in and it was the best thing I could've done. We've all come so far and there was still so much to go.

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**A/N: So I'll Love You Forever was my favourite book when I was little and it still is, I know most of the words off by heart but if any of that is wrong I'm sorry, I would've found the book or gotten the words off of the internet but I would've read the whole thing then and for those of you who have major waterworks would have imploded. Anyways I hope I didn't disappoint with this chapter and please let me know what you thought about it:)**

**Xx Keisha :***


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry! I haven't updated in what a month? November was a really hard month, school and personal wise. I finally got this chapter up and it is just the way I want it.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Christmas episode was too magical for it to be mine!**

**Oh and uh, this chapter is rated T**

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"Beckett, it's Valentine's Day, shouldn't you be with your boy?" Esposito asks sitting on my desk.

"It's called working, Esposito, can't exactly go anywhere and leave you two in charge now can I?" I tease pushing back from my desk and leaning against the back of my chair.

"Well if there's no murder by five then—,"  
"STOP! Do not jinx this," I say, glaring at him, he gets up and starts to back away.  
"Okay, jeez, sorry Beckett." Ryan walks past him and I swear I can hear him whisper 'this is worse than when we put honey on her desk, be careful'. I roll my eyes and Ryan sits down next to me.  
"I'm sorry Beckett," Ryan begins with a sad smile. I groan, nod my head and stand.  
"Where's the murder?" I ask, tiredly.  
"84th and Columbus, but Espo and I can fill you in and you can be outta here in fifteen minutes." He offers but I have to turn him down.  
"Unfortunately, Ryan, you guys have been filling me in one too many times this past month. I gotta go with you." I give him a sad smile which he returns.  
"Well if you call him now the restaurant might push back the reservation." Ryan stands and walks to Esposito who's waiting at the elevator. I huff out a breath and grab my phone, following slowly behind them as I dial the very familiar number.  
"Hello gorgeous," Rick answers and I laugh. "I can't wait to see you soon."  
"About that, we just caught a murder. I can't go tonight, I'm sorry." I sigh and he returns it, I pound on the call button, knowing it won't go any faster. On the bright side, it makes me feel better.  
"Come to the loft at about 7:30, is that good?" He asks.  
"Well yeah, I can't be out of here in time for that, why?"  
"It's a surprise, by the way, you may want to call Ella's daycare and let them know I'm picking her up." He answers and my brow furrows, I step into the elevator and push the button to take me to ground level.  
"You are, are you?" I say and he chuckles on the other end.  
"Well yeah, I'll call my Mother and tell her to wait till six thirty to pick up Alexis and I'll drop Ella off at Lanie's." He replies in that 'no big deal' tone. "The girls can hang out for a little while I get some writing in. She can distract Alexis for a while and I'll feed them before they go no worries."  
"Just one problem, Ella needs a car seat." I answer as the door slowly creeps open. I step out briskly and make my way to the car.  
"I'll use Alexis's old one." He states and I hear the clicking of key, I bite my lip and sigh.  
"Isn't Alexis already home?" I huff out and he laughs.  
"She's at Paige's I'm supposed to go pick her up in–oh damn twenty, I've gotta go, dove. Am I picking up Ella?" He asks, already knowing the answer. I unlock the door and hop in. I shiver when I feel the heat touch my skin which had almost frozen during the few seconds to get from the precinct to my car and then the half a minute I spent standing outside listening to the other end of the phone.  
"Yes, but please make sure you have your license and that the car seat is in the car properly."  
"Yeah, yeah, Kate, I've got this." He says.  
"I know you do, and Rick?"  
"Yes?" He answers tiredly.  
"I love you."  
"Love you too babe."

I knock on the door and hear a muffled yell on the other side. Moments later the door flies open and I bite at my bottom lip. I reach up and pull his face down to mine, he stunned for a moment as our lips lock then he wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me onto my toes. We stand in the doorway like that for a moment until I break away slightly. "Whoa," he breathes against my lips.  
"Happy Valentine's Day," he laughs and pulls me into the loft. I unbutton my coat and he pulls it off of my shoulders, he leans in to kiss my neck and I giggle, loudly. "Rick, stop, that tickles." I grin swatting at his figure standing so closely behind me.  
"Mm, but you're just so, extraordinary." I spin around and kiss his cheek.  
"Believe me we've got plenty of time for that later. But right now, I'm starving." I giggle again and he smiles at me. He turns and hangs my coat in the closet while I toe out of my heels. I walk over to the island and soon after he follows. "What's for dinner?" He sneaks up behind me and sets his hands on my jean clad waist. He kisses my neck again and works his way up to my ear.  
"I've got something for you," he growls low in my ear. I hum softy and stand, leaning into his embrace.  
"Thought we agreed on no presents." He wraps his arms around my stomach and I place my hands over top of them.  
"Not a present, just something. Something you'll love." He bites my ear love and I laugh.  
"What is it?"  
"A surprise," he purrs.  
"Hmm, a surprise? What'd you do?" I ask rest my head against his shoulder.  
"I haven't done anything in a while. You should know that." I break away from his arms laughing.  
"You took a simple question and just blew it out of proportion!" I continue to laugh for a while.  
"I was trying to be seductive," he pouts and I clamp my mouth shut. I curl my lips around my teeth and try not to laugh. It doesn't last long.  
"I'm sorry, really I'm sorry. I just," I continue to laugh. He pouts and I walk over to him wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm sorry, I really am." He laughs in my ear.  
"No you're not," he responds.  
"I'm really not." I reply and he lifts me up and spins me around. "What was that for?"  
"I don't know I just love doing that!" He laughs and we stay there in each other's arms for a while. He pulls back just enough to be able to look into my eyes and we hold each other's gaze, completely engrossed in the other person. I never thought I would fall in love like this, ever. I mean I loved Will, but not like this. It wasn't the soul feeding, thought inducing, time consuming love that I felt for Rick. He makes me want to be his everything, but then why am I still afraid? I don't want a broken heart, but I don't want to be without him. I just don't want to rush things. "Kate dove, what's on your beautiful mind?" He pulls me from my thoughts and I realize I've dropped his gaze.  
"It's nothing," I lie; he pulls me closer and tilts my head so he can search my eyes for something.  
"You're lying." He states plainly and I look down. "Kate what happened?"  
"I'm just, I don't know. I don't want to lose you." I admit, drawing my bottom lip between my teeth.  
"You'll never lose me. I will never leave you, this will last, we'll be amazing, I promise." He reassures me tucking a strand of hair behind my ears. I smile and wrap my arms around his neck.  
"How do you know?" I ask, whispering in his ear.  
"I don't, but I'm scared too."  
"About us breaking up?" I ask and he shakes his head.  
"You know what; we'll talk about it tomorrow, no need to put a damper on the mood." He grins and I laugh.  
"That mood that you ruined." I taunt and then become serious again. "Seriously, Rick, babe, what's wrong?" I ask, removing my head from his shoulder. I give him a peck on the lips.  
"Nothing." He continues to stare at the ground.  
"It's not anything. I'd know because you've got that look." His eyes flick up to mine a little inquisitive, then hit the ground again. "Don't even think about saying what look! You know what look! I am the queen of giving that look, hell I probably invented the look. Just tell me what it is so I can fix it." I whisper, a bit helpless. He sighs.  
"I'm scared that one day I'm going to get a call from Ryan or Esposito or hell Ella's daycare, telling me that something bad happened to you while on duty and I need to pick her up because no one else will. I'm scared that one day you might be gone and I'm going to be left with two kids who are scared and looking for you and then have one of them who is, I'm hoping, more comfortable with me than anybody else, besides you of course, be ripped from my grasp never to be seen again. Kate, I'm petrified that I'm going to lose you!" He pulls me closer; if that's even possible, as a single tear rolls down my cheek.  
"I don't know what I can do to prove to you that I won't get hurt on the job, but I will see what I can do to make sure that if anything ever happens to me, Ella will be yours, tantrums and all, you just have to promise me something."  
"Anything?" He says pulling back from our solid embrace just long enough to look me in the eyes.  
"Make sure she doesn't try to find out what happened to me. I don't want it to ruin her life and you can't go trying to do it either. Whether the killer is caught or not you all stay away from my case. I couldn't imagine Ella having to lose two parents." I say to him, he smiles and swipes at the tear on my cheek.  
"Anything dove." He pecks my cheek and I melt into him. "Yeah huge damper on the mood." He laughs.  
"We can fix that," I pull away and kiss him on the lips wanting to be near him. It quickly accelerates, I moan against his lips. He kisses me back just as fiercely, our tongues roaming the other's mouth. "I love you, so much." I say in between the heated kisses.  
"I love you too." He replies, I pull back and my hands roam over his chest.  
"That, surprise, it can wait." I say, taking his hand and walking to his room.

"Rick, are you awake?" I whisper out to the silence. I'd woken up close to fifteen minutes ago and couldn't fall back asleep. "Rick," I call out again. I'm starving and I flip onto my stomach, hoisting myself up and looking down at him. I run my nail up his chest and look at him. I lean down close to his ear and kiss his cheek. "I'm going to make some coffee and grab some food. Come a join me when you wake up." I know that it's probably no good, he can hear me, but when he wakes up will he really remember it? I roll my eyes; he'll smell the coffee anyways. I throw the covers off of me and step out onto the cold floor. I search the floor for something to throw over my naked body while the air hits my abdomen. I see Rick's discarded shirt and toss it over me, doing up each and every button. I pad out into his office. I look around at all the books and his laptop thrown carelessly on the couch. I walk out swiftly and almost run to the fridge. I stop short at the counter seeing his pasta carbonara sitting there. It's grown cold by now but it's calling me. I quickly grab a fork and dig in.  
"Surprise!" He calls out from the kitchen table. I drop my fork and let out a noise that no human should ever make. Something between a dying whale and E.T when he first sees Drew Barrymore.  
"Jesus Rick, you scared the hell out of me." I gasp and he just laughs at me.  
"What was that? That was so weird it was like a dying goose. Oh my god, how was that even possible?"  
"Shut up, okay? It's not funny." I pout and he sneaks up behind me snaking his arms around my waist.  
"It's at least as funny as my attempt at seduction." He comments.  
"Whatever," I dismiss locking my fingers with his.  
"Still hungry?"  
"No, but coffee sounds good. What about you?"  
"Not that hungry either. You know that, in there, it was, wow! I mean, just wow." He comments, kissing my neck.  
"You're not so bad yourself. In fact you were quite—" I stop, searching for the words and then bye my tongue. "Extraordinary."  
"Oh my god, you're inflating my ego so much right now." He laughs in my ear and I bite my lip. His ego is already quite big. I spin around in his arms and push his bare chest towards the coffee machine.  
"Enough about how great the sex was, I'm caffeine deprived and–," I stop mid-sentence and stare at the clock. "Oh no, where are my pants?" I ask hurriedly.  
"Why Kate, what's up?"  
"Phone I need to check my phone!" I exclaim.  
"Well we were trying to get to my room, but—" he reminisces and I glare at him.  
"Rick, focus!"  
"I am!"  
"Not on that!" I huff out a breath of air.  
"Check behind the couch." He suggests, I run over and, sure enough, there lay my discarded jeans. I rummage through the pockets and see fifteen texts from Lanie and five missed calls from her. I open up the last text message and read it.  
Ella's finally in bed, she had a fever earlier. Looks like the flu.  
My eyebrows furrow at this, that wasn't what I was expecting. I thought it would be some mind of a tantrum. I didn't know whether to be happy or worried.  
"Hey babe?"  
"What?" He replies, mouth full of food.  
"Do you mind if I make a quick call?"  
"At three in the morning? Go ahead, I feel bad for the person on the other line." He answers, laughing and then choking because he's still talking with his mouth full.  
"You okay?" I look at him and catch him nod. I dial the phone and head into the study. I pace the small room as the phone rings and rings and rings.  
"Hello?" A groggy voice answers.  
"Hey Lanie, its Kate."  
"I know I have caller ID, Ella's fine. She's asleep, she was pretty sick earlier. I tried calling but I didn't get an answer. What were you up to?" She pried and I swerve around that question.  
"So she's feeling better?"  
"Much." She responds. "You haven't answered my question!"  
"I…I was." I try and think of an excuse but words fail me.  
"We're you celebrating Valentine's Day?" She says jokingly.  
"Something like that," I offer. I can almost hear the woman jump out of her bed.  
"Oh my god Katherine Beckett! So scandalous!" She taunts and I half laugh.  
"So how long is this flu going to last?"  
"Two or three days at the most. Just be thankful this isn't the gastro-intestinal flu or the stomach flu. Now that's nasty!" I hear her laugh and nod my head.  
"Dully noted. I'll get more information tomorrow." I hang up the phone after we exchange brief goodbyes and I head back into the hall. "Hey Rick?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Did Ella seem alright earlier?" I ask him, walking towards him, reading through all the texts.  
"She had a bit of a runny nose and a small cough. I figured she picked up a cold from daycare." He shrugs while using my fork to eat out of the dish. "Why is she okay?"  
"Lanie thinks she has the flu. She'll be fine in a couple of days, but has Alexis had her flu shot?"  
"I think so."  
"Good." He gobbles down more of the pasta and I laugh sneaking up behind him.  
"Thank you for the surprise." I whisper against his skin.  
"My pleasure." He responds.  
"It was such an amazing surprise that words aren't enough. I think I should show you how thankful I am..." I trail off and know exactly what he's thinking because it's exactly what I mean.  
"Maybe we should go do that then?"  
"Yeah, we should." I agree.  
"It's gonna suck when we have to pick up the kids tomorrow isn't it?"  
"Oh yeah, so let's go make this last!"

"Kate! Crap, Kate, wake up!" Rick yells I reach over grab his pillow and throw it over my head.  
"No!" I complain as the light floods over my face.  
"As cute as this is, my mother will be here in fifteen minutes with Alexis. So unless you want them to see you doing the rock of shame." I sit up slowly. Then quickly get out of bed and smile at him.  
"That and I have a sick kid I have to tend to." I kiss his cheek and get dressed as fast as possible.  
"Why don't you guys stop by later and we can all do something together?" He asks while I pull on my skinny jeans.  
"Rick I don't want to get you two sick, she's probably not going to want to do much today anyways. I'll be surprised if she hasn't already thrown a few tantrums." I give him a sad smile. "I don't know if it's the best idea, I think I should probably just stay home with her today."  
"Well we could come over." He offers shrugging. I grin at him.  
"Just be careful and try not to get sick, okay?" He gives me a hug and places a soft kiss to my lips.  
"We will, now go. Pick up your daughter escape from mine and my mother and I will see you later. I love you." He whispers.  
"I love you too; tell your mother and Alexis I say hi."  
"I will." He pulls away and I walk to the door pulling on my boots and my phone vibrates in my back pocket. I answer it and immediately hear a screaming child in the background.  
"Her fever's gotten worse, she really wants you." Lanie answers immediately.  
"I'm on my way, put her on?" I ask and there's shuffling on the other line. I open the door and wait for the elevator to come up.  
"Mama?" Ella whimpers.  
"Hi baby," I reply.  
"Miss you."  
"I miss you too, but I'm on my way okay?" The elevator is taking quite a long time so I walk to the stairs and start making my way down.  
"Hurry, really miss you!" Ella demands and I smile.  
"I will, I promise. I'll see you soon baby." I tell her and I think she drops the phone, either way the button is pushed and Lanie's blackberry hung up. I made my way to the lobby and the doorman smiles at me.  
"Morning Miss Beckett," he says.  
"Good morning," I really need to ask Rick what his name is!

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**A/N: What did you think?**


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